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Single Moms Single Moms

Moving away

Posted by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:34 PM
  • 17 Replies
The man I'm seeing is moving to Spain in a year(navy). We have mentioned that we both really care for each other. I have an almost 4year old son with another man. Am I a bad parent for entertaining the idea of us relocating to Spain? I am more than willing to pay for transportation for my son to come back to see his father. I know when you have a child you put them first but if I love someone and get married I feel as though I should be able to move with my son. Any advice or input is helpful. Good and bad.
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mom-does-hair
by Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:50 PM
Do you have a custody agreement? You may need his dad's permission to move, especially out of the country. otherwise he could say uou kidnapped the child. Also, you said care for, not I'm in love with him and see us spending our lives together. Huge difference. Relocating that far, what happens if it goes bad? Not to mention the culture differences.
ashleysuee
by Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:56 PM
I do have a custody agreement. Just says I have to notify him. I already planned in going to court to change it if I do decide to move. And this is more so just a question as to am I wrong to even entertain the idea. I am not moving right now and would expect to be married. Just a hypathetical question.
Mom-does-hair
by Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 7:58 AM
No, you deserve to be happy. The only thing is, are the ex and your kid close? That's what I would be thinking. How much will it affect your kid?
ashleysuee
by Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 12:10 PM
They are semi close. He has visitation 3 days a week but majority of the time he has his visitation he doesn't spend it with him he works. I would voluntarily let him have him every major holiday and summer break. I know you are suppose to sacrifice a lot for your children and at 24 i know I have. But not sure if this is something I'm suppose to sacrifice as well.
faerie75
by Ruby Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 12:20 PM
2 moms liked this

 no, i dont think you should move overseas if the dad does not agree.

best bet is to talk to the father. like i said in another post, talk to him and offer to pay and offer A LOT of vacation visitation. maybe he will agree. but if he has rights, he can contest you getting the kid a visa. you cant even get a passport without his agreement if he has rights.

its good if you find love but that really aint your kids dads problem. you said you and dude have mentioned you care for each other, it sort of sounds like you are putting the cart before the donkey here.

Robsessed98
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 12:58 PM
I agree.

Quoting faerie75:

 no, i dont think you should move overseas if the dad does not agree.


best bet is to talk to the father. like i said in another post, talk to him and offer to pay and offer A LOT of vacation visitation. maybe he will agree. but if he has rights, he can contest you getting the kid a visa. you cant even get a passport without his agreement if he has rights.


its good if you find love but that really aint your kids dads problem. you said you and dude have mentioned you care for each other, it sort of sounds like you are putting the cart before the donkey here.

Oliviasmom72
by Bronze Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 1:35 PM
1 mom liked this

You will have a near impossible time relocating the child out of the country without his permission. This move is in your best interest, not the child. Absolutely no way would I allow this if I were Dad nor would I sign for a passport. If this goes to court I cannot imagine a cout ruling in your favor but you never know.

Oliviasmom72
by Bronze Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 1:38 PM

 This is ridiculous. Dad's rights come before moms happiness and her boyfriend. Dad's rights as a father are paramount to mom moving out of the country solely to pursue a relationship.


Quoting Mom-does-hair:

No, you deserve to be happy. The only thing is, are the ex and your kid close? That's what I would be thinking. How much will it affect your kid?


 

quickbooksworm
by Bronze Member on Aug. 29, 2013 at 1:39 PM
You still have to have the fathers signature on his passport and visa. Moving out of the country is a whole different ballgame.


Quoting ashleysuee:

I do have a custody agreement. Just says I have to notify him. I already planned in going to court to change it if I do decide to move. And this is more so just a question as to am I wrong to even entertain the idea. I am not moving right now and would expect to be married. Just a hypathetical question.

ChromeCowgirl37
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 1:40 PM
How long have you been dating this guy? I followed my ex husband just across the country for the Marine Corps. BIG mistake. But don't marry someone on just whim. However, these sort of marriages and custody situations are normal with the military. The court isn't going to let you take your son if dad is not ok with it. So be prepared for custody to be reversed too. You may end up being the one with vacations and holidays.

Cheyenne Fall Risk Anderson

Admin Roller Derby Mamas

www.cafemom.com/group/ACTIVEDerbyMamas

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