Okay, so I am not yet divorced. Ex filed the papers on Aug 23, so it might be a while anyway. He hired this shark of a lawyer who advised him to do all this stuff. I think he was trying to get sole custody all along because he kept hinting at it every time I did something he did not agree with. Well, my sister who is kind of like a daughter to me was down on her luck and needed a place to stay. She has problems, but she has always been good to my kids so I did not feel that they were in any danger by agreeing to let her live with me. Well, as soon as ex found out about sister, he decided that my kids were no longer mine. We were doing week on/ week off and it was my week but he picked them up from school tues when they were supposed to ride the bus to my work. He did not even talk to me about it first, he just called the school and told them. Well I found out about it, and I called him and asked him what was up. He told me they were not going back to my house as long as my sister was there. I have begun the process of trying to get my own lawyer, (I am not as financially well off as him) and fight for them but I am afraid that if he keeps them from me for too long they will forget me and they will not want to come to my house anymore even if I get court ordered custody papers saying they have to. I want them to be happy. It seems like he is buying their love with all this fancy stuff that I cannot hope to compete with. He has a swimming pool and he bought my oldest a kindle which he would not let her take to my house even when he was letting her come over here. I do not know what to do.
Are there any steps you can take to make sure that you're a good parent. He keeps saying that I am not and that he is doing this for the good of our children because I make bad choices. Example: one time when it was his week I called to say goodnight to the children but he wouldn't let me at the time. Well, I was going out that night and I knew I wouldn't hear my phone ring because of the noise in the place I was going to be. So I told him I might not hear the phone ring if they called back and asked him to please let me say goonight then. He wouldn't let me and then tried to call back when I was in the noisy place. When I checked my phone I had like three messages and 10 missed calls. I called him back after I had gone outside where I could hear and he said I was a bad mother for not saying goodnight to my girls. Should I have waited for his call, even though he might not have called back?
Anyway I need advice on how to make sure you're a good enough mom to get at least joint custody because he is trying to take them away from me completely. Right now he is acting like I only have supervised visitation rights. (we have no paperwork yet) I got to have my middle child over on fri night, but only because my boss let me off work early so I could go to the school before he got there. I picked her up and we tried to pick up her sister too but he neglected to tell me that sister had an ear problem that she was taking medicine for and he refused to give me the medicine so I could take her. I was planning on taking the girls shopping but only got to take the middle child.
Seems like trying to get to the school before him to get them might make them upset and hurt them more than it will help but how can I keep him from doing this if I don't? Sorry to ramble. Please help.