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Coping with being Single and Pregnant

Posted by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:59 PM
  • 13 Replies

I posted in another community about my relationship issue with the father of my child. I have somewhat come to the conclusion that I am single and pregnant. I am 22 weeks pregnant with a little boy and I am struggling with the idea that I may have to do this by myself, well I have been doing this by myself. The father is barely around and he treats me as he feels like treatimg me depending on his mood or if he needs something (money, food, a favor). I am such an emotional mess. I have a supportive family and friends and I just finished my masters degree in occupatinal therapy but I still feel like something is messing. My son needs a father, but the more I am treated like the mat on the floor the more Im starting to feel like I need to do this on my own. The father of my child got so mad one day when I asked him what was his plan he threatened to kill me and the baby but later apologized deeply for saying that. Part of this is my fault, we only dated for a few months and I have should have known better. He hasnt mentioned any intention of taking care of his son, he hasnt been to any appointments, he lies alot, he keeps his life a secret, and I havent met any family members. My family hates him, but he insist that he wants to be there and he wants to be with me.

I know im intelligent enough to know the answer to this issue, but I just need some encouragement please. 

by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 8:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Sep. 2, 2013 at 9:40 PM

Your son will need a man who loves him and will teach him how to be a man. It doesn't matter if it's his bilogical father, steo father, or uncle. Ideally his father will be there, but you can't make him change how he is.

hayliedlr
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 10:34 PM
You can do this. Everyone learns adapt in their own way
kkat117
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 4:34 PM

I've been there! My daughter's father stopped talking to me when I was 3-5 weeks pregnant. He's in her life now, but it was a really hard year and a half. Things get better. Feel free to message me if you need to talk.

inezmm2000
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 5:07 PM
1 mom liked this

Just worry about your health for the baby. Its devastating not having the father involved, but he'll have to suffer those concequences when them, not you!Be stong and know that yur doing what you have to do for you and your baby. You owe nothing to the father of the baby and should let him fend for himself. Don't allow him to be involved in anyway unless he really shows he serious. Just know at this point he's not a father just a donor and that baby needs a loving parent(s) not someone who conceived it! Keep your head up momma, it'll get better as long as yhou dont let him drag you down!

Tiffanyathome
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 9:36 PM
1 mom liked this

You definitely don't deserve to be used and you should not even entertain the thought that his reactions are your fault. Threatening you or your child is unacceptable. You sound like you have the rest of your life together, so I think you should kiss his butt goodbye and really hunker down with your family and friends. My bio dad is a horrible excuse for a man who always wanted to jump in and out, but I ended up getting the best stepfather. Your son would rather have you on your own, than be dragged on his day's personal roller coaster. Good luck and best wishes mama. 

LifeCafe42
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:06 AM
I've been a single mom for the whole time. It's not easy but so much easier than if his "father" was in the picture. Build a support system and take each day as it comes
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Nika87
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:22 AM
I'm still trying to cope myself. But if you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me....
Solo_Fan
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:51 AM

 You should just focus and you and your baby and not worry about him.  He cannot be forced to be in the baby's life.  Use your support system.  You will succeed with or without him.

alexis_06
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 1:26 AM

 absolutely!!

Quoting Solo_Fan:

 You should just focus and you and your baby and not worry about him.  He cannot be forced to be in the baby's life.  Use your support system.  You will succeed with or without him.

 

Robsessed98
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 2:58 AM
Welcome to the group. Your child will need a male father figure, which will hopefully be his biological one, but it doesn't have to be. However, you don't need him and don't deserve to be treated like that. Co-parent with him, but leave it at that.
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