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whats reasonable??

Posted by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 10:51 PM
  • 16 Replies
Hi out there everybody, my name is Clarissa and I am somewhat new to this group. I am currently in the beginning stages of a divorce and so far things are looking ugly. So I ask you all, whats reasonable? My soon to be ex had all sorts of stipulations and demands in order to "allow me" to have the divorce in the first place. One of those demands was that he pay two hundred dollars a month in child support and claim one of our girls at income tax time every year. Is that reasonable? Then, he changes his mind and says how about instead of paying monthly child support he just "allow me" to claim both the girls every year and have that be my child support. My response was that I did not agree with that. That him claiming one of the girls every year was his way of getting paid back all the money he put into child support and that not paying a monthly amount and letting me claim them both was the government and my job pay his child support for him. Now I am a money hungry B**** because I wont agree to let him get away with paying nothing to help support his kids? I do not think I am, but I need some impartial opinions.
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 10:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Sep. 2, 2013 at 10:55 PM
None of that seems reasonable
LauraMH
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 11:30 PM
2 moms liked this

He sounds like a very controlling man. Do not give into him just because he tells you to. Speak to an attorney about what is best for your situation. Most states have a form that calculates child support so you don't have to worry about that, it will be done for you. 

I claim both the kids on taxes each year. It's something that my lawyer made sure I got. I would be more concerned with custody, the money will be done by state formula. 

diaperstodating
by Queen24Princes on Sep. 2, 2013 at 11:33 PM

No, none of it sounds reasonable.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 11:41 PM
I would ask for what I am legally entitled to. Depending on your state, support is figured on time share. If he is a good and active father, he should get time w his kids. If its close to an even split, he should be able to alternate years w a kid or each of you claim one.
easinpc
by Gold Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 11:48 AM

I agree with this. 


Quoting faerie75:

I would ask for what I am legally entitled to. Depending on your state, support is figured on time share. If he is a good and active father, he should get time w his kids. If its close to an even split, he should be able to alternate years w a kid or each of you claim one.


 

Caera
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 2:19 PM
2 moms liked this

Get a lawyer. Don't try to negotiate child support yourself.

rissamae606
by New Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 5:06 PM

The situation is slightly more complicated then that, the last lawyer I talked to said it didn't sound like I needed his services because my soon to be ex hasn't got a leg to stand on, the day after we separated he quit his job and moved five hours away, he has only seen his kids once in the last six months, he has done nothing to help me take care of them, and has had and lost four jobs since he moved. The lawyer I talked to told me that the judge is going to suggest 28% of his pay in child support, that having primary custody awards me the right to claim both the kids at income tax time, and that we are going to be asked to come up with an agreement on our own before being ordered into mediation and if we still cannot agree the judge himself will determine how custody and visitation will work, my fear is that we will get into mediation and not be able to agree because he is stubborn and wants to fight me and try to hurt me and I do not want the judge to have to make the decision for us, but I cannot agree to something that takes all the financial burden off of him and dont believe I should have to

Stephd710
by Silver Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 5:10 PM

Whoa!!!  You need to get a lawyer if you dont already have one.  Cut off contact with him unless its about the kids.  Let your lawyer contact his.  File for what you deserve.  I made the mistake of letting my ex claim one of my girls on his taxes every year when he only has them 9% of the year.  I really regret that.   

Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 5:24 PM

Your first lawyer sounds like a sorry excuse for a lawyer. Find another one, ASAP.

As others have said, states have a percentage that each parent is to contribute to the raising of the child, based on each parent's income or the estimate of what that parent is CAPABLE of making (in the case of a stay at home mom deciding to stay home instead of work or if a dad is trying to be a deadbeat to avoid paying CS). Don't agree to anything until you know what your state guidelines are. Don't shortchange your kids.

As for claiming on taxes, some people do alternate years or if there is more than one child, each parent gets one, etc. My son is our only child and so my lawyer recommended that I allow his dad to claim him on alternating years with the stipulation that his dad would be required to help pay for our son's college. His dad refused so I didn't agree to alternating years for taxes.

Dad should cover medical insurance, help pay medical expenses, etc. A lawyer that specializes in family law can tell you what's standard and that should be the MINIMUM you accept from their dad. 

dalbax2
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 5:24 PM

GET A LAWYER!!!!!!  Don't try to do this alone.

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