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My daughter's new high school is a nightmare.

Posted by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:07 PM
  • 115 Replies
We recently moved to a bigger city (200,000+), and my D15 now attends the largest school in the state. On her first day of school, she was spit on by the same boy as he drank from his water bottle. She was also called an ugly name in the lunch line. After that, she refused to eat in the cafeteria and lied to me saying she had been eating lunch when, in fact, she skipped lunch all week. Today, I made her pack a lunch. Sunday night, I overheard her talking to her sisters and this is how I found out. She thought I might "get mad" if she told me the truth. But I didn't get mad. I let her cry on my shoulder instead. I feel so bad for her. So bad, in fact, that I am beginning to doubt my decision to move here. But it's too late to change any of that now. I just bought a house, so we are committed to somehow making this work. Suggestions? My D15 isn't athletic so jointing a sports team is out of the question. She doesn't really have any hobbies, so to join a club is virtually impossible (but we haven't totally scrapped the idea). I want her to be happy. But she is missing her friends back home and is always sad. :(
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
easinpc
by Gold Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:23 PM
8 moms liked this

group hug

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:25 PM
5 moms liked this
She is going to need to get involved some way in school, whether its painting scenery for drama club, freshaman or sophomore class (sorry, you didnt say what grade), atheletic trainer (no you don't have to be athletic). Look into the clubs that are offerred, there is usually something for everyone.
Robsessed98
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:29 PM
12 moms liked this
She's gonna have to toughen up first and get involved in something, even if she's not overly interested at first. No matter where she goes, there will be kids who say ugly things to or about her. She's got to be self-confident enough to ignore it.
steviechick
by Gold Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:31 PM
5 moms liked this

Kids can be cruel no matter what age group.  Since your daughter is 15 and in high school she is a Freshman.  Hardest part of being in high school is the first year there.  Your daughter can change the way kids think of her by simply putting a smile on her face and saying hello to everyone she meets.  Even the ones that give her nasty looks.   Just be the better person.  I would look into all the clubs the school offers.  Being involved socially will enhance her social status at school.  What about the yearbook club?  Taking up a language and joining the French/Spanish group?  What about choir?  Is she good in science and math?  There are all kinds of academic groups as well.  If she likes to draw there is the drama club (painting scenery).  Have her look into all the clubs at school and start from there.  She will start to make friends eventually.  Just have her stay far away from that boy that spit on her.  Eventually she will make friends and they will start to help her build confidence in herself.  It's tough being in a new school and area.  Give her some time to adjust.  Perhaps she can make friends at the bus stop.

AvengedMommy101
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:34 PM
2 moms liked this

4-H is a cool thing for kids. You don't have to be athletic, just be interested in it.

squeekers
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 1:44 PM
1 mom liked this

 maybe she can do what kids at DD's high school do. find a fav teacher's room and lunch in there safely. I did the same thing when I was in high school. I lunched in Shakespearean English. DD lunched last yr in boyfriend's chemistry class, and freshman & sophomore years she ate lunch in the band room.

Autumn19
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 2:04 PM
1 mom liked this

 she will find her place

Caera
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 2:10 PM
5 moms liked this

She should find out of the school has a Key Club. Key Club is a community service organization for high school students, backed by the Kiwanis Organization. Students in Key Club tend to be really good people, as they choose to give their free time to help others. 

In highschool, I was awkward, ungainly, shy, and bookwormish. I found a place there, and had the best high school experience with the kids who became my friends as we did different volunteer activities. I ended up teaching at the high school I graduated from, and I became my school's Key Club faculty advisor. I've seen that organization change lives of the people the students help, and the lives of the students.

www.keyclub.org

Good luck.

fliptopz4
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 2:27 PM
1 mom liked this

She does'nt have to be athletic to play apart in the high school sports. there are managers, assistants and other people who pitch in and help the teams with out actually participating in the sports. Tell her to talk to the coaches and see if its something she would like to do. 

dallascowboys82
by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 2:30 PM
3 moms liked this
I joined ROTC and made a bunch of friends. I was in charge of making sure our show rifles were polished and ready for when we compete against other schools.
And it was my job to make sure when we competed that everyone had what they needed and was ready to go..I loved it.


Quoting squeekers:

 maybe she can do what kids at DD's high school do. find a fav teacher's room and lunch in there safely. I did the same thing when I was in high school. I lunched in Shakespearean English. DD lunched last yr in boyfriend's chemistry class, and freshman & sophomore years she ate lunch in the band room.

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