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Single Moms Single Moms

Overwhelmed and worn out!!!

Posted by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:28 PM
  • 10 Replies

I know I'm preaching to the chior here, but here it goes. I have three girls 3, 4, and 9 they are the joy of my life and also my biggest headache. Working, kids, and dealing with my ex seem to have become my life and yet I feel guilty if I want to send the girls to a babysitter on a day when they are with me so I can go have some me time at something fun, so I don't. I onlhy plan things when they are with their dad. I date but it never goes anywhere because I'm to terrified to bring someone else into their life that;s going to break their heart like the divorce did. I feel trapped in my house some days and then feel guilty because I do. There has to be a balance here but I have yet to find it. Any advice would be very welcome!!!

by on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
neveragain17
by Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 7:35 PM
1 mom liked this
I feel the same I have no life outside my place:( I'm not ready to date my daughter is almost 2 but I'm still wanting to go do things but If I leave her then I feel bad
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Sep. 3, 2013 at 8:20 PM
1 mom liked this

Are you an organized person? Do you plan out what you are going to do when the girls are at their dad's?

If not I would suggest starting there. Many moms do not have the opportunity to do things when the kids are at their dads so they need to use a sitter. If you are one of the lucky minority then I would utilize that time for 'me' time before I use a sitter. If dad gets wind that you are using a sitter a lot to go out when the girls are on your time he could use it against you.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:08 AM
Use your me time!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Robsessed98
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 3:10 AM
You have to take time for yourself, period. Otherwise you will stay overwhelmed and that's never good. Relax and unwind a bit, then begin again. It gets easier and you will fall into a routine that will become your new normal.
amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 12:59 PM

It's hard, but "me time" is very important.  Take it, use it and don't feel guilty.  Show your girls that it's important to not just be "mommy" but to be yourself too.  It's ok, it's allowed, and it's good for all of you.

Misha1204
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 3:14 PM

Do what you have to do....you are no good to anyone unless you take care of yourself.

 photo FEARFULLYMADEMISHA_zps710e9e0d.png

Misha1204
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 3:15 PM

Guilty is far from what I would be feeling.  :)

Quoting Misha1204:

Do what you have to do....you are no good to anyone unless you take care of yourself.

 photo FEARFULLYMADEMISHA_zps710e9e0d.png


easinpc
by Gold Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 3:27 PM

group hug

aKaRoz
by on Sep. 4, 2013 at 3:37 PM

{{{ Big Hugs }}}

With time you will find the balance, the balance that work best for you.  I have been a single mom for 16 years and at the beginning (pregnancy) i felt so lost and overwhelmed, like how the heck am i gonna get through this.  My daughter is 16 so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, 18 and college is around the corner.  Her father lives out of state so I have her 24/7 except summer and every other christmas. During my "me" weeks, i felt guilty doing "me" things cause i knew when she came home, it was back to our regular routine, me, her, work and school.  No boyfriends for me, because i too, didn't want to subject my daughter to somebody coming and leaving.  It hasn't been an easy tour of duty for me, but the reward has been amazing.  Sometimes a deep breath and be mindful that selfless does pay off.  The relationship i have with my daughter is priceless. 

Enjoy your "me" time when you have it (spa days, mini vacation, time with gf's etc.) and you will work additional "me" time in when you do have your kids; reading, social media, a hobby etc.  Your just transitioning to a new chapter in your life.  Validating, loving and appreciating yourself without a guy, makes you so much more healthy and attractive.  Boys will be boys, and they will always be around.  Your children are priority and so it your well being.  When you feel ready to date you will know. 

... and when you need to vent or get crazy single mom advice, you have us here :)

mmpdrs07
by Member on Sep. 4, 2013 at 6:50 PM

We have all been there before!  I won't lie there are some days I come home and whatever my son wants to do is exactly what we do because I simply don't want to fight with him.  Yeah my house may get messy some days but it is what it is.  Last night he had cereal for dinner why?  That's what he wanted and I had a bad day yesterday, so cereal it was and we watched a movie.  My sons father checked out when we split and it's trying to say the least.  Hang in there momma and take some time for yourself.  

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