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Father giving up parental rights

Posted by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:10 AM
  • 19 Replies

So my sons father has decided that he wants to sign over his rights to our son.  Calvin is 3 and I left his father in April this year and since then his father has wanted nothing to do with him, only to fight with me.  I have tried to get him to keep his son weither it be for a few hours or over night and he has denied it every time.  So last night he told me he just wants to sign over his rights and let us be that he will never be a good father.  He's told me he will never pay any form of CS that's ordered by a judge (and this is about right of him because he wont).  I was going to make some phone calls today and see what needed to be done or could be done but has anyone done this?  If he's really done can I make this go any faster by doing anything else?  If it's done I will have to be the one to do it.  I don't trust the man and someone has been to my new place twice now recently doing crap that shouldn't be done.  I have reported it to the police and I do believe some of it may have been him.  I guess I just need help and wanted to know if any other moms out there have been in my shoes and what I can do.  

by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:10 AM
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Replies (1-10):
TattooedMommyxo
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:14 AM
You can go in and see a lawyer and get the process started but other than that you can't do much other than saying you're ok with him giving up his rights
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:53 AM
2 moms liked this

Dad cannot just sign his rights away to the child. If someone is willing to step up and adopt the child, fine, he can, but if not then dad is still on the hook for being dad.

So he says he won't pay child support? Fine, le the courts order it, he can rack up the arrears and when he wins the lottery you win too. When he gets a fat tax return, guess what? It goes to you. Inheritance? Bingo, you inherit too. Sounds like he is a deadbeat dad, so be it, raise the kiddo on your own, let him do his thing, file for cs. If you don't get anything, no worries, you weren't expecting it. But he has a child and should not just sign his rights away, he cannot.

mmpdrs07
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 11:12 AM

Yeah he's a real piece of work to say the least!  His mom called my family last night telling them I was harrasing her....UHHH no I wasn't I called and asked you where your son was.  Sometimes I wonder what flipped in his brain to make him so crazy...Actually I know what flipped it's called drugs!  I love how he thinks that he can just walk off and have no responsibilites anymore.  And he's right I can find a man to to raise my son like his own, and well if I don't he still had a better father.  Sorry im just irritated this morning 

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 11:29 AM

Write him out of your life, but make sure you go file with the courts. He's a druggy now, but hopefully that will change in the future.

On another note (sorry to hijack) but I wonder. If a jerk (aka sperm donor, bio father, idiot) is not legally dad, but dies. Does the child get death benefits from social security? Makes me wonder, because if I die or my ex dies, they get benefits. But if dad isn't legally identified as dad, would the kids get benefits?

mmpdrs07
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 11:32 AM

He has been identified as dad, he's on the birth certificate and has been since birth.  I don't know anything about if he dies being almost every job he's every had he's been paid in cash so there is no money trail.  He's been working since April when I left but I haven't seen anything from him and once again he's still working for cash so there is no paper trail of him.  

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 11:35 AM

Ugh men. Yeah, I would just go file for cs and let it go. Send his mom updates and that's it, that way she still has touch with her grandchild. Do it via snail mail, if she returns them, fine. I just don't believe in letting a sperm donor off the hook just because he doesn't want to be dad. Not to mention, right now you know where (in general) he is. 5 years down the road things will most likely change.

mmpdrs07
by on Sep. 5, 2013 at 11:55 AM

HAHA no his mom wants NOTHING to do with me!  She called my grandmother crying last night saying I was harrasing her because I called and asked where her son was.  She said I called over and over yelling, screaming cussing all that.  No sorry I didn't I called 1 time and asked where her son was and she told me off.  

easinpc
by Gold Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 12:17 PM

You can check with an attorney but in some areas I believe that a parent can't sign over their rights unless there is another adult willing to adopt them.

DDDaysh
by Silver Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 12:54 PM

No, they have to be legally established as a father to get the benefits.  

Paternity CAN be established after death, but it's much more difficult and requires the cooperation of the father's bio-relatives.  

Quoting krisnkids:

Write him out of your life, but make sure you go file with the courts. He's a druggy now, but hopefully that will change in the future.

On another note (sorry to hijack) but I wonder. If a jerk (aka sperm donor, bio father, idiot) is not legally dad, but dies. Does the child get death benefits from social security? Makes me wonder, because if I die or my ex dies, they get benefits. But if dad isn't legally identified as dad, would the kids get benefits?


cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Sep. 5, 2013 at 10:15 PM

Don't call his family any more, not even to talk to them about your child. Sometimes it's just not worth the bs.

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