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Overnight guest???

Posted by on Sep. 8, 2013 at 6:56 PM
  • 6 Replies
So, have any of you been through this??.....

I have been dating a great guy for several months. Earlier this summer my children and I moved about 2.5 hours away for a new job. We have continued to see each other and have even gotten more serious. My children (ages 9 and 11) have met him and know I'm seeing him. They seem to like him. The problem is, since moving- we only get to see each other when my children go to their dads - every other weekend..... And it's getting harder and harder to see each other only twice a month.....

When is it ok to have him come see me and stay over while the kids are home?? I worry about the impact it could have on them. I worry a lot about how their dad might react. But I also feel like I want to move forward with this relationship. He's a great guy who wants to get involved in our lives. Has anyone been through this? Any advice?
by on Sep. 8, 2013 at 6:56 PM
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Replies (1-6):
mz23
by Bronze Member on Sep. 8, 2013 at 9:00 PM
Idk I haven't dated while having kids. M I wouldn't allow a SO overnight with my kids home unless its my husband. Cant you guys spend time during the day and at night take the kids over a sitter or relatives house for a sleepover or something? Monthd isnt a long time to me so idk.
Mac4411
by Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 3:18 PM

 Personal opinion, he shouldn't spend the night if the kids aren't comfortable with him. If they like this guy and they are cool with the idea (this might sound silly) you guys may take a camping trip together. 1 tent for kids, 1 tent for grown ups or everyone has their own sleeping bags outside. If camping isn't good, try a slumber party where Everyone stays in the living room. Seems like a non threatening way to introduce him being there over night and to see how the kids re-act. Moving to the next stage is going to be difficult no matter what way you go about it, but if the big picture looks good then its probably worth the risk. 

Robsessed98
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 6:47 PM
They're old enough to have a sit down about it. Explain the situation and your feelings about the guy. Tell them you'd like to have him spend part of the weekend there sometimes and get their opinions. Encourage them to be open and honest about how they feel about it and let them know their opinions matter to you, but unless they have a legit problem with him, they have to accept it. You're the mom and the decision is yours.
steviechick
by Gold Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 2:59 PM

I'm in a relationship now.  It's new and we are just starting to get to know each other.  So far so good.  The other night we got a little bit more frisky then we thought we would.  He lives alone and has no kids under his roof.  Whereas I do.  My dughater is 19 so she's old enough to know about the birds and the bees.  However, I wouldn't allow my guy to spend the night this early in our relationship.  As far as your man is concerned I would consider your kids and how they would react to having a new man in their mom's life.  I was 7 when my parents divorced and shortly after that my mom started to see my a man who ended up being my step-father.  He didn't spend the night until months after they dated.  By then, they were both engaged to be married.  Perhaps you can see your man when your kids are with their father - drive to see him. 

Pink.Sunshine.
by on Sep. 10, 2013 at 4:30 PM

I would never have a strange man around my kids. Of course he wouldn't be strange to me, but he would be to them.

Stephd710
by Silver Member on Sep. 10, 2013 at 4:36 PM

I dont see an issue with it.  Its not like he's some random hookup, you have known him for awhile.  As long as he gets along well with the kids, I dont think its a problem at all.  And who cares what their dad thinks.  

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