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Is it worth possibly opening up a can of worms?

Posted by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 3:25 AM
  • 19 Replies
Im gonna make this short. My ex has only came to see my dd a few times and rarely pays his chump change child support. Haven't seen him in months besides this last Thursday. He claims he takes good care of dd, and pays so much in child support. He accuses me of spending all of the money he pays (which he hasn't paid in who knows how long) on n*****. He says he'd give me more money if I didn't have (and I quote) "the white man on him." He came Thursday out of the blue unannounced saying he was un jail. This could be true or a lie I truly dont know or care. Almost EVERYTHING out of his mouth is a lie. No lie! Anyways, let me first say ge must have rung the doorbell about 20 mins. Yes I was trying to avoid him. He begins to act a fool bi tell him to come another day and call I just couldn't deal with him that day. Well he just was being argumentative so I decide to just leave in my car to go to the store with dd. Well he wouldnt let me leave. He wouldn't allow me to close the car door. I begin to get upset. Just please leave. He doesn't so I go in the house and he barges In refusing to leave and claiming I hang out with hella "n*****" (untrue, irrelevant and...ignorant).

Eventually I call police cause he won't leave. After arguing and lying to the police he eventual leaves.. so I thought. When he was walking away I got in my car and drove around thinking id go back home When he and the police are gone. 15 mins later I come he has his shirt off and is being arrested! Why he came back; why was he getting arrested? I don't know and didn't care to ask.

One of the officers told me to get a custody arrangearrangembt so he cant take off with dd. But im scared he'll get any custody over her. He's truly not missing something. He's so not smart you dont even know and hes a compulsive liar. I don't know WHAT I was thinking. But idk what to do. I live in ca. Should I go for custody and risk him getting partial custody or just wait to see if he will file sonething??
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 3:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
hello_kitty25
by Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 3:28 AM
You better get a parenting plan or he can get her and never give her back and police will not go looking for her since you don't have a legal plan!
klriggins
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 7:00 AM
You have to have a custody arrangement for visitation or he can just take her and there's nothing you can do. It's not kidnapping if you both have equal custody and rights (which right now it sounds like you do)
Monica555
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 9:13 AM

Yes! You should get a custody arrangement set in stone! I would first attempt to go for full custody with supervised visits or even better no vistation if he is in fact a danger to your child. Every time he pulls a stunt like the one you just experienced I would at the very least have a police report filed. I do not know if you have the means to take him to court and I am not sure about the laws in california but I would try to establish something! Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!

krisnkids
by Silver Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 9:38 AM

Get a custody order, it protects you and your daughter. Get a copy of the police report and bring it to the custody hearing. It will not look good for him to have been arrested in front of your house. I'm guessing the reason he was arrested was because when he left the first time the cops told him not to come back or he would be arrested. He left, they left, he circled back, they circled back, he got arrested.

hayliedlr
by JoAnna on Sep. 9, 2013 at 10:04 AM

like the others say, get a custody order

Oliviasmom72
by Bronze Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 12:28 PM

If he pays child aupport how is there no custody/parenting plan? Or does he pay you on agreement? I would file for custody and document everything. He probably will ask for visits and overnights. Are you comfortable with him having unsupervised visits?

mz23
by Bronze Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 12:29 PM
[quote name="krisnkids" id="0"]

Get a custody order, it protects you and your daughter. Get a copy of the police report and bring it to the custody hearing. It will not look good for him to have been arrested in front of your house. I'm guessing the reason he was arrested was because when he left the first time the cops told him not to come back or he would be arrested. He left, they left, he circled back, they circled back, he got arrested.

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tbut the 3 police cars were in the same position from when I left. He had to have seen them walking back. And why was hia shirt off? Idk!. I didn't file a police report, do the police do this every time they get ccalled?
mz23
by Bronze Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 12:37 PM
Quoting Oliviasmom72:

If he pays child aupport how is there no custody/parenting plan? Or does he pay you on agreement? I would file for custody and document everything. He probably will ask for visits and overnights. Are you comfortable with him having unsupervised visits?




No I def wouldn't be comfortable with that at all. He's barely seen her anyways but my dd is still breastfed honestly it'd be hell for him at night and she wakes up frequently still. But the issue is I don't trust him and he has no car, no job, and idk even who he's staying with. In tge ghetto im positive and his family is a hot mess *sigh* he hasnt paid child support in a while but I got it bevause I waa on assistance so they go after him. Honestly, I think his mom was paying it for a little bit.

Also I dont know if he was telling the truth but he told me he'd just gotten out of jail. (Dont know what for and he could be lying but would that affect his visitation?
mz23
by Bronze Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 12:44 PM
Quoting Monica555:

Yes! You should get a custody arrangement set in stone! I would first attempt to go for full custody with supervised visits or even better no vistation if he is in fact a danger to your child. Every time he pulls a stunt like the one you just experienced I would at the very least have a police report filed. I do not know if you have the means to take him to court and I am not sure about the laws in california but I would try to establish something! Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!





Thanks!
krisnkids
by Silver Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 12:49 PM
1 mom liked this

If he was arrested there is a police report. It doesn't matter why his shirt was off, it doesn't matter why he was arrested. If the police even suggested you get a custody order its a good idea. If he somehow walks away with your child what are you going to do then? Legally dad has as much right as you do to the child. Wait a second, how can you have a child support order and no custody orders?

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