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Calling HER mom!

Posted by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 8:33 AM
  • 22 Replies

 My ex has been with his gf for about a year or so and over the last few days our five year old has started calling her mom.  Just once in a while but it's starting to get under my skin.  I'M his mother, not her.  She said she doesn't respond to him when he calls her that and my ex said that he has talked to him about it.  When I asked ds about it, he said he only calls her mom when he misses me.  Has anyone else go through this?  I'm trying to just blow it off, not make a huge deal over it, but it does hurt.  I have nicely told him she is Minnie (his nickname for her) and I am mom.  That's when he says it's because he misses me when he's at daddy's sometimes. Grr.. I've lost my marriage to her, I will NOT lose my son too!


by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 8:33 AM
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by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 9:29 AM
My daughter sometimes lets it slip and her stepmom reminds her not to call her that. But i also get called her name, and daddy and mamaw. It just kinda comes out til they get it right. Lol. I think its cuz they spend so much time.with each of us.
What gets me is when she says "well (stepmom) said...". Well IM mom! I dont have to do what stepmom says.
Anyhow, you wont lose him to her. You are and forever will be his mommy. Plus apparently its you he is thinking of when he says it. And i try to look at it like least they like her enough to call her that. She is good enough to them for them to see her as a mother figure to them. A "bonus mom" so to speak.
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 9:30 AM
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It;s ok!!!!!!!Sometimes children get confused!!!! Rather than looking at it from an adult perspective try to look at it from a child's point of view!!!! Just keep on correcting it everytime it happens and even better if your ex is doing the same! Sometimes my kids who are 6 and 11 come back from a long weekend and call me Dad! I know it does not hold the same impact as what has happened to you but remember "you are the Mom and always will be and their can be no changing that unless you choice too! 

PS You did not lose your marriage because of her you lost your marriage because of his choices!!! 

by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 9:40 AM
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 I keep reminding myself it's not her fault.  He bailed, he lied and she believed him.  Meh.  DS does call me Minnie, Daddy, Mommy..usually after he's been at his dad's for a few days.  And she is more active with ds when he's there.  She does the discipline more than his dad, she takes care of the booboos, she makes a fuss over him before he comes home or when I drop him off.  Her and I go over school stuff, discipline that works and doesn't, observations on behavior and other stuff.  Dad is just there.  And ds does talk about her more than he does his dad.  So basically he has two strong females in his life and dad. 


by Gold Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 9:56 AM
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group hug

by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 10:10 AM

just keep reminding him

by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 1:02 PM
He needs to understand that she isn't mom and calling her that is unacceptable. It's not a matter of losing your child, it's about respect and acknowledging your role in his life. You are the only person who deserves the title, period.
by Gold Member on Sep. 9, 2013 at 4:14 PM

Calm down.  

My son sometimes calls me his teacher's name.  Sometimes he calls me "granny".  Kids get names all mixed up and such just like we do.  

Ya'll talked to him about it.  He is 5.  He isn't replacing you.

by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 4:17 PM
I teach kindergarten and I get called mom at least 5 times a day. They are just used to saying that and they accidentally say it.
by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 4:23 PM

Kids do get confused.  I'm a grandmother and I get called everything from the teacher's name, mom, dad, stepmom or any of the other grandparent's names.  LOL  Your feelings about it actually boil down to your own insecurities.  Stop being so insecure and realize that you are a great mom and will always be his mommy.  No one could ever take your place.  You may think you are hiding your feelings from your son, but believe me, he can sense your feelings.  And, all that accomplishes is making him feel bad abourt hurting your feelings. 

by on Sep. 9, 2013 at 5:10 PM

Sometimes my girls slip and call my ex-s mother mom, especially at that age. They've done it to my sister, his sister, my mom, teachers, daycare workers.... It's just 4 years old. You're not losing your son. Relax.

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