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Update I had called my ex today from when I posted i wanted to vent

Posted by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 9:28 PM
  • 8 Replies

I called my ex today while My Daughter was in school because I told him about a very appointment  we have to take my daughter out of town in December to see a specialist I told him what his Mom did to me and he  told me he didnt know anything about how she treated me or that she was mad at me and deleted me off  her friends list well I told him so now he has my side of the story and he said sometimes she gets like that and to give her time to cool off well i am sorry but if she has issues with me  maybe she should have been more respectful istead of saying I depend on ppl to much even though i so badly want to keep her out of my daughters life I  cant do that because that is her family i know how it is when mom keep their children  from their exs family because my brothers has   4 kids we get to maybe so one out of the 4 kids so I know its not right   to completely keep my daughter from her family but I would also like an appology for how  I was treated  it might piss her off but she was completely in the wrong last week  and u know what  my mom doesnt have much time to live she is very sick now in the hospital  and wont eat or take her medication she just sleeps all day   my poor mom !  so after My Mom passes away she will be the only grandma that my daughter has left  so u  would think she would be nicer to me and want to get closer to my daughter because   kids need their parents and grand parents in their lifes  I am just glad i got it all out of my chest venting in here  and then talkin to my ex directly because he needs to hear  about   things too ad  when it comes to me and our daughter  we deserve to be treated good because i have worked with them  and  also I never asked them  for help for anything all i did was ask if he could take  our daughter and I too her appointment that is 2 to 3 hours away  from my town because it is something important  that we need  to  get done so my daughter can finally get the help she needs and finally be diagnoised with Autism

by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 9:28 PM
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Replies (1-8):
cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Sep. 18, 2013 at 10:01 PM
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Your daughter doesn't need "family" in the picture. Your dd needs people who love and care about her.

My father passed away when I was 15 and it's sad knowing what a good grandfather he would have been. He has only seen his other grandfather once and doesn't even ask about him. His dad has a huge family and ds only knows a handful of them because they are toxic people. My ex and I decided to do what was best for our ds, not what his family wants.

HopeAlive
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 3:17 PM

I'm sorry you've been dealing with these frustrations and so  sorry that you're mom is sick... I'm sure that must be difficult. Do you have some friends you can be leaning on in this time?

LuckyMom4eva
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 5:56 PM

not really  because my friend  i thought i had basically  upset me last month so I cant trust her anymore

LuckyMom4eva
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 10:33 PM

 I got to  talk to my Mom on the phone tonight I am very Happy I got to finally talke to her after 5days

JackandJayne
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 10:47 PM
1 mom liked this

Honestly, not all 'family' by blood relation is healthy. In life you'll meet other people down the road who will be more than willing to take on these missing roles only it can be better because you can choose the right kind of people to help mold your daughter into the kind of young lady you want her to be. She does need role models, but not the kind of unhealthy ones you've mentioned. This all sounds like way too much outside stress for you to deal with. You don't have to put up with this, and you also need to remember you can't change them.

steviechick
by Gold Member on Sep. 20, 2013 at 10:07 AM

I can contest that not every 'blood' relative will treat you right.  My ex is one big example of that.  Our daughter may not be able to have a relationship with him because he's so screwed up.  She has her papaws, uncle and aunts to ensure she's well rounded.  My daughter does need a male role model in her life.  I hope I can give that to her some day.  I'm dating a nice guy now.  He's a good father and puts his kids first in his life.  That to me, shows he's a decent and compassionate man.  Something my ex sorely lacks.  My ex could be a better father but he chooses not to be.  His choices to make.  I can't change him nor can anyone else.  He has to change in order to better himself.  I wish my family lived nearby.  I do have friends that will always be there for me and my daughter.  At least we have that.

JackandJayne
by on Sep. 20, 2013 at 12:05 PM

I'm in a similar boat. My dad does a great job spending time with the kids, they help him build things, do work around the house, he takes them hiking etc. My kids don't act like they're missing out on anything at all. It's only occasional that they say something to me about remarrying someday and having a dad, which I hope someday I can give that to them. Good luck to you with your relationship!!

Quoting steviechick:

I can contest that not every 'blood' relative will treat you right.  My ex is one big example of that.  Our daughter may not be able to have a relationship with him because he's so screwed up.  She has her papaws, uncle and aunts to ensure she's well rounded.  My daughter does need a male role model in her life.  I hope I can give that to her some day.  I'm dating a nice guy now.  He's a good father and puts his kids first in his life.  That to me, shows he's a decent and compassionate man.  Something my ex sorely lacks.  My ex could be a better father but he chooses not to be.  His choices to make.  I can't change him nor can anyone else.  He has to change in order to better himself.  I wish my family lived nearby.  I do have friends that will always be there for me and my daughter.  At least we have that.


LuckyMom4eva
by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 4:02 PM

 Thanks ladies  I am totally  moving on in my life  i just talked  about things that needed to be said that were unsaid and actually i am at peace with my life  now ready to move on in the future with  my daughter and i  i as a family

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