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Funny how you can be a single mom in a relationship with the dad

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I am not new to this board, just a new account because the old one was sending me spam and I stopped coming up here because I didnt want my ex knowing I use this site. Anyway, I got back with my ex over the summer and I didnt want to. Prior to that, he was a POS...barely saw his kids and didnt want to pay cs. I tried to be friendly with him because thats the only way I could get him to spend time with the kids. He gave me an ultimatum to be with him or things would go back the way they were...meaning he would be a POS father again. Stupid me thinking about the kids and no myself got back with him. The entire time I was paying for everything, he would use me for my car, ask me to pay for something for him say he would pay me back on his payday and never did, would eat up my food and not pay for any of it, never kept the kids by himself, when it was time to take them somewhere he'd never come with us...it was like he was mooching! And he was the one working this summer not me. So I fell into a big hole which I have to dig myself out now. But damn how can you still be a single mom in a relationship with the dad. Makes no damn sense. WHy should I have to take my son to the barbershop? Why should I have to find my own way to fix my tire when it went flat...he left me and the the kids because he "couldnt fix it" and I had to drive on rim to a tire shop. Why should I have to pay for everything when he was the one working? I was living off of my last paycheck. Thank god CS threatened his job about garnishments and Im finally getting it. But I eventually got fed up and left. I am so happy now. The only thing I need to do is fix myself financially and I will be fine. How can a man live like that? You are with the mother of your kids and you act like I am some random girl you met and these arent your kids. He also tried to move in with me. Now that I wasnt stupid enough to do. I am in the process of maybe getting put out and Im going to move you in when you cant even save 20 bucks from your paycheck to help out with something...anything....no thanks. I am so glad I left and as much as we women say we wont go back...I have no reason to. He is a poor excuse for a man and father. All he did was bring me down. I was doing better before I started being friendly to him. Maybe I shouldve kept it like that...it's back to that now already and we have only been broken up and a week. He wont call them. Hes already told me not to contact him. He is already making plans to get them and cancelling them...its like just go away smh....sorry had to vent again lol. My friends are all too busy in their own worlds to listen.
by on Sep. 22, 2013 at 7:57 AM
Replies (11-16):
steviechick
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 11:12 AM

My ex did something very similiar to yours.  Only thing different was he was cheating on me and had fathered one kid and and had another one on the way when he finally decided to tell me what he was doing behind just a week before he deployed to Kuwait.  We were married when he was chasing after his office bimbo/tramp and guess who was raising our child?  My ex even had the guts to keep up his affair while maintaining a relationship with me all because he didn't want to get kicked out of the National Guard and possibly get fired from his job.  He's scum.  He's proven to his own daughter just how low he can go and how utterly stupid he has become in his life.  He's a disgrace to human kind. 

Your kids will be better off without this POS in your life just like my daughter is better off without her father in her life.  However, I'm in the middle of a court battle with the financial loser.  I won't give up the battle.  He has to be forced to be a father to his daughter and forced to repay me for the money he embezzled from me.  Just remember that you tried to do the right thing in  your marriage.  He is the one making the mistakes in his life.  He's losing his children due to his stupidity and wreckless behavior. 

easinpc
by Gold Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 11:32 AM

group hug

kitcal78
by Gigi on Sep. 23, 2013 at 11:50 AM
Instead of men being men they are being boys. YOu made the right choice by leaving him lone. We learn from our mistakes to not repeat them again.
Jrom
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 1:06 PM
1 mom liked this

It sure does sound like you've been putting a lot of effort into this situation.  I'm so sorry to hear about these struggles that you're having with your ex.  Certainly, children do need their fathers, but at what expense?  I hope for your case and your children's that some sincere and good change will happen here soon.  I admire your courage to not just let the status quo continue!  In the midst of these challenging life situations, it's often hard to see the forest through the trees.  I've received some great counsel in the past from http://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/articles/consider_counseling.aspx.  I wish you and your children the very best :)

lnrmom
by on Sep. 25, 2013 at 11:09 AM

Just don't stress him. Leave him be. You, and your kids, are better off without him.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Sep. 25, 2013 at 2:02 PM

 it wasnt LIKE he was mooching, he was. good thing you wised up.

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