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How to find time to meet people when juggling work and parenting alone

Posted by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 11:47 AM
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Wondering if anyone currently has the struggle of meeting new people - friends and dating prospects - when faced with limited time due to working, parenting alone, and trying to find a little bit of time for yourself.

My kids father does not see them, so I dont have the "every other weekend free" setup and family has grown tired of babysitting so that I can go out. Costs to pay a sitter when you're not receiving child support seem outrageous. Not to mention that after working all week, homework help and getting kids to activities I am exhausted!  My attempts at online dating have been a major fail. :/  I think in the last three months I have been out for an adult evening maybe twice.  I am starting to wonder if I will ever have a social life!

Any suggestions or stories on how you met new people and find the time to actually get out without kiddos?

Thanks for reading!

Traci

by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 11:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ivf_blessed
by Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 1:09 PM

Do you go to church?  (My church will cover child care expenses if you attend a community group event)

Are your kids involved in any extra curricular activities?

Sorry that I'm not much help...I'm just thinking of places I have met other adults since I split with my stbx.  But I'm not looking to date AND the kids are with their Dad EOW so I do have time to hang out with my friends but like you...I don't have the energy!  LOL

Good luck!

steviechick
by Gold Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 2:52 PM

How old are your kid?  I would look into sporting events in the evenings and on the weekends.  Fall sports have more then likely kicked off so I would look into churches in the local area.  Upward is a basketball league through church league for young kids.  Its cheap and a great way to get your kids involved. 

tann0120
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 3:19 PM

 

 

Quoting ivf_blessed:

Do you go to church?  (My church will cover child care expenses if you attend a community group event)

Are your kids involved in any extra curricular activities?

Sorry that I'm not much help...I'm just thinking of places I have met other adults since I split with my stbx.  But I'm not looking to date AND the kids are with their Dad EOW so I do have time to hang out with my friends but like you...I don't have the energy!  LOL

Good luck!

 Thanks for the response... I do not go to church.  Another long story but I was raised Baptist and after my divorce I had a "falling out" with my religous beliefs... I've been thinking about trying it again.  That may be a good option for me.

The kids do go to gymnastics and dance, but I drop them off and pick them up so not really a time to meet singles.

 

easinpc
by Gold Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 3:24 PM
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My son goes to his dads part of the week (as long as he's not gone for work) so I won't be much help.  But here's a bump for you!  I hope others can help!

tann0120
by on Sep. 23, 2013 at 3:25 PM

 


Quoting steviechick:

How old are your kid?  I would look into sporting events in the evenings and on the weekends.  Fall sports have more then likely kicked off so I would look into churches in the local area.  Upward is a basketball league through church league for young kids.  Its cheap and a great way to get your kids involved. 


 My kids are 7 and 8.  They are involved in sports but the type that you drop them off for classes.  I have heard of Upward.  I will have to look into that.  I havent gone to church since my divorce.  Thanks for the suggestion!

DDDaysh
by Silver Member on Sep. 23, 2013 at 5:16 PM
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 Honestly, I've learned to have a social life through my child's activities.  There just isn't much free time as a full time single parent. 

alexis_06
by AnnaLisa on Sep. 23, 2013 at 5:56 PM

 i dunno, ive been a single mom since i was pregnant...my daughter is 9yrs old.  i thought once she started school i would make some friends...but nope!

tann0120
by on Sep. 24, 2013 at 8:52 AM

 hmmm.. well my oldest is 8 and its been about the same for me.  Their dad is in and out, but mostly out.  I thought the same thing, but it seems like parents even have their cliques at schools/activities! plus I have to work to support my kids so I can't be at the activities at the school all the time like stay at homes. :( I'm glad there is a site like this one where I can at least chat with others going through the same thing, thanks for the input!


Quoting alexis_06:

 i dunno, ive been a single mom since i was pregnant...my daughter is 9yrs old.  i thought once she started school i would make some friends...but nope!


 

DDDaysh
by Silver Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 10:14 AM
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Honestly, when my son was very little, I was working full time, had him obviously (and Dad doesn't have visitation), and I was taking night classes for grad school so I could get a more stable job.  Getting babysitting coverage so I could attend school burned through basically all the familial help I could expect from a child care perspective, so outside of a few minutes chatting with coworkers or classmates, I really didn't have much of a social life at all.  Even when DS started school and was in soccer, I couldn't really bond with the parents because, as you said, there already seemed to be cliques.  

But when I got out of grad school and was "just" working and raising my son, he also decided to join cub scouts and I decided to also volunteer.  It was hard because I didn't really have much time, but I found a way to squeeze it in, and it was worth it.  I made friends.  I mean, it's not like we have alot of "Ladies' Night Out" or anything, but there are always a few minutes before and after meetings and events to talk and laugh and joke.  I have someone to "sit with" when we have events for the kids, if you know what I mean.  

I suggest getting involved as much as possible in those activities.  People are more likely to open up to you when they know you're sticking around.  

Quoting tann0120:

 hmmm.. well my oldest is 8 and its been about the same for me.  Their dad is in and out, but mostly out.  I thought the same thing, but it seems like parents even have their cliques at schools/activities! plus I have to work to support my kids so I can't be at the activities at the school all the time like stay at homes. :( I'm glad there is a site like this one where I can at least chat with others going through the same thing, thanks for the input!


Quoting alexis_06:

 i dunno, ive been a single mom since i was pregnant...my daughter is 9yrs old.  i thought once she started school i would make some friends...but nope!




hnye77
by Member on Sep. 24, 2013 at 10:15 AM

Check out the UU church if you are conflicted.  Also, do you have any interests?   I play sports and my kids tag along with a community sitter or friends...

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