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My stbx is trying to take my son away

Posted by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 6:02 AM
  • 9 Replies

I am currently in the middle of a divorce, My 2 year old son and I live with my brother, I have no job although I am trying very hard to get one. I just received a decree in the mail from my stbx's lawyer. He wants my son to live with him, and give me every other weekend. I have been everything to this little boy since the day he was born. I quit 2 jobs to be stay at home when my ex and I were together. I gave up my dream of becoming a doctor in the best interest of my son. When my ex and I were together, he ignored our son, yelled at him for doing things babies do, and just all around was a terrible father. Now he wants to take him away from me to complete his "family vision" with his new gf (whom he's had since before I moved out). I gave him reasonable parenting time on weekends and even during the week occasionally. He works 4 am to 4 pm and most saturdays. He was never around, I raised this kid myself. He also accused me of dropping my son off with my dad just so I can go out clubbing. I spend every other weekend with my dad so he can see his grandson, and lives kinda far. twice I went out after my son went to sleep in the care of my dad and his gf and I always came home that night and took care of my son in the morning. My friends posted pics on facebook so that's how he knows. I need help. I can't lose my little boy, he is everything to me and I'm everything to him. He never asks for his father or even gets excited when he sees him. It is obvious how much he loves me bc I have done everything for him. Does my ex have a good chance at taking him away? I want to hire a great lawyer, at any cost, I will find a way to pay for them. But I can't let this happen. Any advice???

by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 6:02 AM
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Replies (1-9):
notwonderwoman
by New Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 11:22 AM
You will need to get a lawyer but just take a breath. My ex did the same thing. The funny part is the day after we had a party at the house, I came home to find the decree in the mail seeking the same thing. Now there was no way that he was going to get full custody and he knew that, it was a ploy. It makes the guy look like they are compromising when they 'settle' for shared.

But yes you should look to get some employment.
notwonderwoman
by New Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 11:23 AM
1 mom liked this
And time to either get off Facebook or change your settings.
MissMBx
by Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 11:30 AM

I don't believe they will take your son unless your ex can somehow prove that you are an unfit parent, or that your son is living in a bad environment. I know you say you are actively looking for a job, and it would be in your best interest to have a job prior to going to the custody hearing; only because the court wants to see that you are financially stable and able to provide for your son. This is something your ex may try to use against you in court. Unless you have mental health/substance abuse issues, your son is somehow being neglected in some way, or the home you have him in is unsuitable for a child, it is highly unlikely that he can take him from you. Going out clubbing twice and leaving your son with a babysitter is not grounds to remove a child from your care. Since you are not working, I would suggest getting advice from a free legal aid. They have them in every city. I'm sure this is difficult for you. Dealing with a spiteful ex is a terrible thing. I know because I am going through it now. Good luck to you! 

pedritosmama
by Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 1:54 PM

Get a lawyer.

Get a lawyer.

Don't do this without a lawyer.  Take out loans, go to cash advance places.  Do what you have to do to get a lawyer.

File for primary custody.  It will go to court and the judge will decide. 

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 3:30 PM

I agree.  You need an attorney (go through legal aid if you have to).  But, I think the most he's likely to get is equal shared custody.

proudmamab09
by Member on Oct. 6, 2013 at 3:35 PM

I'm living in a good neighborhood with security patrol day and night, it doesn't get any safer than this. I have never been in trouble with the law, I don't drink excessively or do drugs. I don't abuse my son, if  I have something to take care of I have a lot of family to watch him. My ex just doesn't want to pay child support, I just know it. He never wanted our son around before and now he is acting like he never gets to see him even though I give him every other weekend and a few hours during the week.

Quoting MissMBx:

I don't believe they will take your son unless your ex can somehow prove that you are an unfit parent, or that your son is living in a bad environment. I know you say you are actively looking for a job, and it would be in your best interest to have a job prior to going to the custody hearing; only because the court wants to see that you are financially stable and able to provide for your son. This is something your ex may try to use against you in court. Unless you have mental health/substance abuse issues, your son is somehow being neglected in some way, or the home you have him in is unsuitable for a child, it is highly unlikely that he can take him from you. Going out clubbing twice and leaving your son with a babysitter is not grounds to remove a child from your care. Since you are not working, I would suggest getting advice from a free legal aid. They have them in every city. I'm sure this is difficult for you. Dealing with a spiteful ex is a terrible thing. I know because I am going through it now. Good luck to you! 


LifeCafe42
by Nora on Oct. 6, 2013 at 5:09 PM
Get a lawyer
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MrsLebow13
by on Oct. 6, 2013 at 6:01 PM
1 mom liked this

You do need to get a lawyer honey.  Let me tell you though, there is no way he will get custody.  You have to be proven an unfit mother for that to even possibly happen!  My ex husband threatens me with this shit all of the time and now I just laugh at him.  His new little wife is the problem, she wants this picture perfect family, and thats great and all but it wont be with my kids!  If he wants a perfect little family he can start one with the GF!  You have done nothing wrong, you let him see him often so he needs to quit bitchin!  My ex husband was never there for our kids I did EVERYTHING! They don't even want to go to his house half the time!  Anyway, get a lawyer honey! It will be ok!

TAG_ur_it
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 2:10 AM

get a temporary custody order IN WRITING.   go to the court to do it.   if you don't, he could get the bug up his butt at any time to not give the baby back.  and , at least in my state, he doesn't have to. that's exactly what happened to me and how i lost my daughter. i haven't seen her since 2006, and only a handful of times in the 2 years before that because of the shit he pulled.  document EVERYTHING.  every argument, every incident, every visitation, every phone call.  cooperate with child services but don't volunteer information.  keep on them.  they could close the case and not tell you.  again, it happened to me and that bit kept me from getting legal aid.  i got royally screwed because i didn't have people telling me these things.  i hate seeing it happen to others.  

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