Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

What makes you the best parental choice?

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 4:29 PM
  • 6 Replies

A little history: divorced 3 years. Custodial parent of 13 year-old son and 9 year old daughter since. In Texas, at 13, a child can state who he wants to live with. My son wants to live with his dad. Although he's a good father in many ways, I don't think that's a good idea. Hence the Modification of Child Custody Case.

The judge I am facing tomorrow - YES! I said tomorrow!! - has been know to ask both parents: "Why do you think you are the better choice of parent to continue raising this child?" I cannot say "because I gave birth to him." There are so many reasons why, but becasue of the stress, it is all jumbled up in my head.

Please advise on this situation. Thanks!

by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 4:29 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-6):
Stephd710
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 4:33 PM

Let the dad go first, then you can dispute every claim he makes as to why he's the better choice.  

easinpc
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 4:36 PM

Write them down as they come into your head between now and your time tomorrow.  That way you have them all there in front of you and you are clearheaded.

 

Emily

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:32 PM

Get a piece of paper and write down your thoughts.  Bring the paper with you tomorrow to court.

good luck

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 9:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Write down your thoughts. DO NOT condemn dad, do not talk bad about him, highlight what makes you a good mom. Who has done the doctor appointments, who does the parent teacher conferences, homework, etc.?

On a side note, is 50/50 a possibility? 

Bribriesmom
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 4:49 AM
Agree, state the facts showing consistency, a stable loving and nuturing environnent. Use I statements, provide dates, if you have proof if he has not kept his visitation appointments submit those. Start keeping a journal or log of communication or lack there of indicating dates for if possible fututre hearings.


Quoting krisnkids:Write down your thoughts. DO NOT condemn dad, do not talk bad about him, highlight what makes you a good mom. Who has done the doctor appointments, who does the parent teacher conferences, homework, etc.?On a side note, is 50/50 a possibility? 
woodstock525
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 9:37 AM
1 mom liked this

Curious as to what happened at court yesterday? 

I'm a parent who allowed my daughter to go live with her dad halfway through freshman year in high school.  There were a number of reasons including that the high school where we lived in MD was horrible academically (though they claimed otherwise) and the one where my ex lived in OH was sooo much better for her...even though she was a great student and getting straight A's at the hs by me, she wasn't being challenged at all. 

My ex and I got along and we had agreed when I moved out of state three years prior that if it was in her best interest to live with him that we would do that.  We agreed to this change of custody and it was what my daughter wanted.  At the time she was closer to her dad than to me.  My ex, my daughter and I all even drove to the courthouse together and my attorney (my ex wasn't represented) and the judge were absolutely shocked that we were doing this in the best interest of our daughter.  It worked for her. 

She is now 19, did really well in hs, and is pursuing a college degree in prepharmacy.  When her dad had a stroke in January, she stopped out of the university she was attending and moved back in to take care of him.  She didn't give up college though and has been attending community college plus working.  He's better and finally got approved for social security disability so she's returning to regular university for spring semester. 

Now, we are in touch daily and have a great relationship.  Had I insisted she stay with me, it might not have turned out that way.  Bottom line, changing custodial situations for some kids is not always a bad thing.  I could have argued alot of things.  I have a master's degree; my ex has a GED. I had a regular job; he had off/on employment.  I took care of all things related to education; he tried, but didn't get those kinds of things.  Still, he was a great Dad and my daughter contacted me for all the things I could help her with that her dad couldn't.  It worked.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)