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Do I have a right to be upset? CIO method:(

Posted by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 5:04 PM
  • 28 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Would you be upset if somebody let your baby cry for more than ten minutes?

Options:

Yes, how terrible! My baby never has to cry for more than two minutes with me!

Yeah, a little bit. Usually I let him/her cry for about ten.

Not really, I don't care what others do.

No, I let him/her cry for however long he/she wants to cry!


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 22

View Results

My daughter is 4-months-old. She's beautiful and I love her so much. Well, this past month she started going to my mom's daycare (my mom works at one). Today during school (I'm 17) my mom sent me a picture of my baby sleeping, and said that they put her in a crib and nobody would go near her. They made her cry herself to sleep, fifteen minutes, alone in a crib (I understand gradually, five for a few days then seven or eight, but she went from sleeping in bed with my and having the breast on demand to help her sleep to suddenly being cruelly forced to scream for somebody). I just feel like I failed her as a mommy and she's hurting and scared. Like, I know she'll still love me. But I want her to feel loved and like if she cries I will always be there to hold her and love her. I do NOT want her to feel like if she is put in a crib it's bedtime and she won't see anybody for another hour or more. I only put her in her crib at home with a mobile to entertain her while I make the bed or get ready for school. However, my mom had a specialist at her job (developmental specialist) check the baby out due to her not rolling yet (next week she'll be 5 months). The specialist said she's held too much because she arches her back and shakes, etc. So she said give her plenty of tummy time and back time. Anyway, so do I have a right to be mad that -although my mom KNOWS how much I absolutely HATE a baby crying it out- my mom let her cry for longer than ten minutes? Or am I just overreacting and being over protective? :'(

SerenityLilypie First Birthday tickersNikohl

by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 5:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 9:44 PM

You cannot be there to hold her every time she cries. She'll be fine.

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:19 AM
1 mom liked this
She'll be fine. 15 minutes is nothing. Now you have to follow through after your mom has laid the ground work or it will be hell on your daughter.
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:21 AM

I did not vote in your poll because I did not like any of the options. I have used CIO, there is no set time for letting a baby cry, you must do what you feel is best for a baby and since they are all different I don't put them in one box.

brittybby2010
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:49 AM
1 mom liked this

I would be upset. That is your child, and if you do not want them to let her scream herself to sleep, she should respect that. Talk to her. 

steviechick
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 9:14 AM

You baby needs to learn to fall asleep, coddle itself eventually. I had to go through this same thing with my daughter when she was an infant.  Hard to hear her cry but it was more beneficial for me and her in the long run. 

easinpc
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 2:24 PM

 I agree with this mom.


Quoting krisnkids:

She'll be fine. 15 minutes is nothing. Now you have to follow through after your mom has laid the ground work or it will be hell on your daughter.


 

Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 3:59 PM

Crying for 15 minutes is not going to kill her. Babies can't be held each and every time they cry. She will be fine and you didn't fail her as a mother because she cried for 15 minutes.

cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:07 PM
1 mom liked this
No daycare is going to constantly hold your dd. I don't think 15 minutes is a long time for her to cry.
PooBearr
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:19 PM

From two minutes of crying to suddenly fifteen or twenty? OKAY. And yeah I wouldn't honestly care as much if they'd had her in a swing or in a seat with a few toys or a rocker. But they had her in a CRIB. No motion, no paci, no toys, nothing. Just a boring white crib. Not only was she probably scared and lonely, AND BORED, but she also was probably freaking out because she HATES laying down where she can't see and she absolutely despises being on her back.

Quoting cjsmom1:

No daycare is going to constantly hold your dd. I don't think 15 minutes is a long time for her to cry.


SerenityLilypie First Birthday tickersNikohl

cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 9:54 PM
I know it's hard being a first time mom. And there honestly isn't one right answer or way to raise a child. A baby being in an empty crib crying for 15 minutes isn't going to have a huge horrible impact, imo. She needs to lay on her stomach and back to build her muscles. Once she's moving more and exploring it won't be an issue.


Quoting PooBearr:

From two minutes of crying to suddenly fifteen or twenty? OKAY. And yeah I wouldn't honestly care as much if they'd had her in a swing or in a seat with a few toys or a rocker. But they had her in a CRIB. No motion, no paci, no toys, nothing. Just a boring white crib. Not only was she probably scared and lonely, AND BORED, but she also was probably freaking out because she HATES laying down where she can't see and she absolutely despises being on her back.

Quoting cjsmom1:

No daycare is going to constantly hold your dd. I don't think 15 minutes is a long time for her to cry.



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