I am in a relationship right now and even though we are "engaged" I don't feel engaged. And I am not even really sure if I want to get married again. I have discussed my feelings with him and there are a lot of reasons why I feel the way I do.
I just don't think I want to be married. After my divorce I told myself I didn't want to get married again. I feel like I rushed into things now like before with my ex. What is wrong with me?? Am I so mentally unstable that I cannot have a man in my life that isn't so messed up??!!
He keeps telling me that my ex ruined me and that he's now paying for it. I am wondering if he is right. I sit and think about the possibilities of things not working out all the time. I know that we have had so many arguments that we have called it quits and then tried to work on it.
I always feel like I am in a tug of war. Between him, my family, my son, work, etc... I feel like I never really focused on myself. I have gained so much weight and I know I am slowly killing myself everday because of it.
I know what I need to do, but I am always thinking about the lifestyle that he will be going back to. Because he is a thoughtful person at times, but sometimes the things he says can be very hurtful as well. Just not sure if I just take it the wrong way or what...