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Do you send pics of your child to their father, even if he is not involved in your child's life ???

Posted by on Oct. 18, 2013 at 10:29 AM
  • 49 Replies
So I'm trying to decide if I should send the occasional pic and update to my x about our daughter. He currently is completely uninvolved (his choice) in our daughter's life. He doesn't want to be a father in any way. I did send him pics of our daughter at 3 mos and wrote a note describing some things about her, milestones etc. I don't know what is the right thing to do. On one hand I feel like I should provide pics and updates so he sees her growing up. I don't want my daughter to think I kept him out of her life. What are your thoughts, opinions ??? Has anyone else dealt with this ?? Thanks.
by on Oct. 18, 2013 at 10:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MIMIBRIE
by Jayme on Oct. 18, 2013 at 10:39 AM

 I personally would not waste my time. You said it yourself that he doesnt want to be involved and sending pictures/updates will not change that. Your daughter will realize things when shes older.

easinpc
by Gold Member on Oct. 18, 2013 at 10:47 AM

My sons father is involved in his life and takes his own pics or orders them from school/sports if he wants them.  Here's a bump though so hopefully other moms can help!

mylilsunshine
by on Oct. 18, 2013 at 10:52 AM

 Why would you even reply? If this was my post and I read your comment, it would have made me feel awful.

Quoting easinpc:

My sons father is involved in his life and takes his own pics or orders them from school/sports if he wants them.  Here's a bump though so hopefully other moms can help!


 

ineedsabreak
by on Oct. 18, 2013 at 12:36 PM
My daughter was adopted by my husband at 6 years old but i always sent pics to her biodad with little updates.my husband wasent happy about it but i felt if i had adopted her out & didnt get pictures i would be crushed.i think i did the right thing.my husband doesent agree.he was a great dad before he stopped coming around tho.we were just to young.
woodstock525
by on Oct. 18, 2013 at 10:59 PM
1 mom liked this

I did this when my ex and I divorced, though my daughter was 7.  Still, my ex and I lived in separate cities, so it was illogical to assume that he could just order his own school pics and such if she wasn't living in his home and receiving the forms.  I always ordered the larger school pic packages and sent some to him and his mom and a few for his relatives.  Any time I took snapshots, I would get double prints and share them and he would do the same when he had her.  It worked for us and actually helped keep him involved in her life.  It was also healthier for my daughter as I didn't play petty games with her dad.

happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Oct. 18, 2013 at 11:01 PM

i did that in the beginning for my first son.  total waste of time and energy on my part.  

it's so not worth it.  

Cairasmom629
by Member on Oct. 18, 2013 at 11:02 PM
Nope I use too but unless he asks I don't .... There was a time I was TRYING to MAKE him being involved and it backfired so if cares enough he will ask!
Quartz99
by on Oct. 18, 2013 at 11:53 PM

I am having similar questions myself. My son is 10 months old and his father and I split in July. My situation is a bit different as I strongly believe his father is not appropriate for him to be around yet I have been questioning whether or not to give updates. His father is mad at me for it but right now I am withholding information from him. I keep telling myself that it is better for my son to not be involved with his father at all and when he gets old enough I will consider explaining why we are not together and why his father is not in his life. I am hoping I am making the right decision. The way I view it is if the father does not choose to the concerned with the child then he does not need updates. He is the one who walked away from baby in the first place... Right?

Mamavelt
by Bronze Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 12:15 AM
My kids are older: 18, 13 and 11. We all lived together until 3 years ago. He was a big part of their lives until circumstances made that no longer possible.

I do send pictures - but only digitally. It only takes a few seconds to text or email him- and then if he chooses he can have them printed.

I do not constantly bombard him- but he does get pics of activities, sports, special events and firsts. It keeps him up to date and also gives them a starting point for conversations when they do talk on the phone.

I'll admit, it is also selfish....one of the things I miss most about being married is having someone to share about my children with who loves them as much as I do.
Lucky2BaMomof2
by Member on Oct. 19, 2013 at 12:18 AM
Lol.. I added him on fb, made it so no one can see his posts, and I can't either.. But he can see pics of the kids and read updates..

Since he never calls or contacts us unless it's to treat me like crap.

He can't say I don't let him see pics or tell him how the kids are.
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