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I'm finally leaving...any advice?

Posted by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:50 AM
  • 12 Replies

I haven't posted much in here other than replies before because technically I am not a single mom, yet.  However I am proud to say I am finally doing what's best for my kids and my happiness and I am taking the steps to leave.  I know I've never posted a back story but my gosh it would be so much.  We have been "done" for a while but I felt trapped, like I had no other options to leave (other than moving my 3 kids across the country to stay with my sister)...and on top of that I have Crohn's disease and struggle with that daily, sometimes in and out of the hospital.  Well since I am "laid off" currently due to health (my boss says I'll be back asap just no position open currently), I am applying for this low-income public housing program which would help me get into a place, and help with rent and utilities.  I'm nervous but excited.  I'm sad we are ending, I am disappointed in him, we have two boys together (4.5yrs and 8mos) and we've raised my 7yr DD together since 5mos old... but this is absolutely what is needed, he has a lot of issues, drama, baby mama crap, stuff with his kids, financial problems, we're just on totally different pages now that I have grown up in this relationship.  So I'd like to know... do you have any advice?  On leaving a long-term relationship, on raising kids alone, on dealing with questions from the kids, on being lonely, just anything and everything I'd love to hear from everyone.

by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:57 AM
3 moms liked this

It's hard to let go sometimes. My ex and I hadn't been happy for a long time and if he hadn't suggested we break up I would've still been with him, just because I didn't want to lose what I was comfortable with and wanting a family for my son. Best advice is get a support system; family, friends, coworkers whoever you can count on for just a shoulder once in a while. It takes time to get over a relationship, especially one that has been long term. We were a few months short of 10 years together. The best thing is to focus on yourself and your children. You'll have ups and downs. I saw a counselor for a while to help. She told me, "just like they say in the airlines, place the oxygen mask on yourself before you help your children." If you're not doing happy, how can you help your children to be happy. I hope things go good for you and you find true happiness.

by Gold Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:05 PM
1 mom liked this

I wish you the best of luck !  Sometimes making big changes like that can be very scary but for me anyway in the end they usually turn out for the best.  group hug

by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:24 PM
1 mom liked this
If you do go through with it . Brace yourself.... cause it can get very lonely and rocky until you get use to being on your own . Also be very careful about depression . It will sneak up on you at times . However , just put the better future for you and the kids as goal and go into "I will survive mode " . Best wishes to you and your family .
by Group Admin on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:06 PM
1 mom liked this

Letting go is by far the hardest thing. It sounds like you are taking all the necessary steps to do what's best for you and your kids.

by Jessica on Oct. 22, 2013 at 1:11 PM
1 mom liked this

Going through a seperation, is hard, at first you will feel great because you are actually doing it, but in the long run its going to be a bumpy ride and you will need all the support and help you can get.

Good luck!

by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 1:25 PM

*hugs*  Good for you for finally making that decision for yourself :)

by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 1:57 PM

There will be very very hard times but it's worth it.  try to find a support group or at least a select few to lean on when you need it.  I wish you and your family the very best.

by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 6:40 PM

i found the first year and a half the hardest, but into the second year life started to fall into place. i am glad i made the choice to leave him. but at times i did ask myself, did i do the right thing and it takes awhile to really see you did make the right choice, once you see that, it feels so good. keep busy and talk, never be afraid to talk. the worst thing you can do is bottle it all up inside. it just wares you down.  good luck mama

by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 9:29 PM
Hang in there mama & take it one step at a time dont forget to breathe & remember stay stong you got your little ones counting on you so I say its better for them to see you happy apart then miserable together there will be bad times & good make the best of it!!!
by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:02 AM
Hugs and good luck take it one day at a time
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