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I wish I didn't care

Posted by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 2:24 PM
  • 14 Replies
1 mom liked this

Sometimes, I really wish I didn't care about my ex.  It's so hard to make this type of change even though I know it's for the best.

Evelyn (she's 5) misses her dad.  We just moved back in with family two weeks ago after I was able to leave the state of CA, had to wait until the divorce paperwork was finalized.

I catch myself missing him often.  but with all the reasons for the divorce to begin with, there's no way we could have a successful marriage.  So I have to continually remind myself of these reasons to keep me on the right page and keep me from going back to an unhappy marriage.

Just sucks.

by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 2:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
easinpc
by Gold Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 2:30 PM
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I went through that after my divorce, but then I began to realize it wasn't really him that I missed as much as having a companion/partner.  I hope that things start to get better/easier for you!

steviechick
by Gold Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 3:50 PM

I didn't miss my ex when we divorced.  I missed the companionship.  My ex abused me while we were married and I'm currently going through a big court battle with him.  Hopefully, in December all of this battling will be over with.   I've gone to court three times prior because of him being a financial deadbeat.  Married for 26 years - most of them miserable.  Life will get better as you move along in life.   It's been nearly three years since my ex left me.  I'm dating now and life is SO much better.   One day you will wake-up and no longer feel anything for the ex.  I can assure you of that. 

sid1083
by Silver Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 1:00 AM
It definitely gets better with time. Hang in there.
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bluedeaj
by Deidre on Oct. 23, 2013 at 3:59 PM

Thanks ladies.  It's so hard.  I've spent 8yrs (7 married) thinking about his feelings and our relationship, etc etc.  And now, that's not needed.  It IS a huge relief, and I'm thankful for that.  But it's also a habit and I catch myself worrying about things I no longer need to worry about (like his financials, since I handled it for the majority of our marriage as a stay at home wife/mom).

At least it helps me for the most part keep myself from bashing him all the time and hating on him.  Since that won't be at all helpful with raising our daughter.  But another reason for our marriage ending was his inability to think about my feelings.  And that is still frustrating since I'm still considering his.

VeroladyMom
by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 6:35 PM
i miss the companionship and that strong friendship.. we just recently split but honestly that person that i married no longer exists.
mamalena137
by Bronze Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 6:56 PM
1 mom liked this

 I completely understand. I wasn't married but we were together almost 10 years. I think as women we have that nurturing factor, I look back and sometimes think I was more of a mommy than a partner for part of the relationship. It just takes time. We've been broken  up for more than a year and I still find myself worrying, even though he has a girlfriend. It just takes time, but it gets better. Hang in there. good


Quoting bluedeaj:

Thanks ladies.  It's so hard.  I've spent 8yrs (7 married) thinking about his feelings and our relationship, etc etc.  And now, that's not needed.  It IS a huge relief, and I'm thankful for that.  But it's also a habit and I catch myself worrying about things I no longer need to worry about (like his financials, since I handled it for the majority of our marriage as a stay at home wife/mom).

At least it helps me for the most part keep myself from bashing him all the time and hating on him.  Since that won't be at all helpful with raising our daughter.  But another reason for our marriage ending was his inability to think about my feelings.  And that is still frustrating since I'm still considering his.


 

cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 10:43 PM
I think we all miss the companionship when we first become single. Just remember why you guys got divorced and know that you deserve better.
alexis_06
by AnnaLisa on Oct. 24, 2013 at 2:25 AM

 i think what you are feeling is completely normal  just hang in there! ;)

Onmyown86
by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:07 AM

I'm going through the same thing! As crazy as this may seem, I do not have respect for my kids father because of how he treats them and for stabbing me in the back. I do at times wish that we where still a "family" I hate that my kids have to go with him on the weekends cause all my what ifs come to mind then I'm freaking out that something might happen to them while there. So, I guess that's the only reason I miss my ex is due to what the kids have to go through and them asing me "why we daddy don't stay with us no more?" It sucks, but he made the choice for me to remove him out the picture. I refuse to have my kids see me arguing with him because of his action, so why not get out the situation and get rid of him? So through it all, longest we think about what our ex put us through or our kids then it'll slowly get easier to forget all about them. I guess it'll just take some time. Keep your head up and continue to pray, things will get better.

Misha1204
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 8:34 AM


Quoting sid1083:

It definitely gets better with time. Hang in there.
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