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Lowered Standards?

Posted by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:15 PM
  • 24 Replies

Has a man ever made you feel like he's lowered his standards in order to go out with you just because you're a single parent?

Have you ever felt like you had to lower your standards in order to go out with someone?

by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
amber3902
by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:41 PM
6 moms liked this

No, that has never happened.  Most men realize it is pretty rare to find someone that doesn't already have kids.  If a guy makes you feel like he's lowering his standards to go out with you, he does not deserve you. 

Now I will admit I've lowered my standards when it comes to physical attractiveness.  I noticed when I was so hung up on looks and not noticing what was inside, I wound up getting hurt.  The guy I'm with now while I am attracted to him, is not as good looking as some guys I've been with.  But what he lacks in physique he makes up for in other ways.  He treats me so much better than any of those fantastically good looking guys ever did.

And I made a promise to myself to never compromise on certain things when going out with someone.  For example, he had to have a good job, he had to have good credit, he had to have the same goals and values as me.  Those were things I was not going to compromise on.  I noticed whenever I compromised or lowered my standards I wound up being hurt and used by the guy. 

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 2:44 PM
3 moms liked this

I lowered my standards for my ex husband. Learned that lesson the hard way. I'm a gem, I'm worth the high standards and will not settle again. If that should mean that I will remain single, fine. But I won't settle.

steviechick
by on Nov. 1, 2013 at 3:47 PM

Well, I made the biggest mistake of my life when I married my ex.  Red flags back when we dated.  It was my choice to marry him anyway.  Fast forward and we are now divorced - 26 years later.  What a collasal waste of time.  But, like my bf has said you make the choices in your life that end up being a part of your life.  He's right.  I stayed too long in that dismal marriage with a guy that could care less about our marriage but his own personal happiness. 

I made a promise to myself to never compromise again when it came to a guy.  I've had a few duds before my ex and settled for him.  My bf is the complete opposite from the ex and that's a huge plus considering how much of a screw-up my ex is.  My bf makes a decent salary, is actually a father to his kids, is laid back and treats me a lot better then my ex did when we first dated.  We also have the same interests like sports, wine drinkers and like to travel.  My bf is not a homebody.  He's easy going and actually listens to me intently about anything I'd like to talk about.  It makes for a better relationship not one that you have to think "is this the right one for me"?

owl0210
by Bronze Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 4:07 PM
No, I was extremely selective in who I dated when I divorced.
Baby5678
by Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 4:26 PM

I haven't really dated much since her dad and I broke up.. But I wouldnt even blink an eye in the direction of someone who had even one drop of weird or bad vibe to do with my child

brittybby2010
by Bronze Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 5:19 PM

I lowered my standards for my BD. I always dated tall, handsome, fit men. Him? Short, fat, ugly. 

Now that I've had DD and still haven't lost the baby weight, my standards on looks have been lowered. 

I've never felt that a guy has lowered his standards to date me. 

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Nov. 1, 2013 at 6:01 PM

 if i ever felt that way, i wouldnt date him again.

i used to lower my standards but later, i did not. however, now that i am not single, if i ever do become single again, i will not date anyone with bad credit. my SO is worth it but the bad credit is a real drag.

bluedeaj
by Deidre on Nov. 1, 2013 at 6:06 PM

I haven't started dating again, that's still a long ways into the future.  But when I do, I won't say I'll lower my standards, but I will change them.  I have a 'type' and I am not going to date that type.  Because obviously, it hasn't worked out for quite a few different reasons.

And if someone ever gave me the impression that they felt they were dating 'down'?  I would most likely not go on another date with them.  Talk about awkward, why would you want to?  Feel inadequate?

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Nov. 1, 2013 at 11:42 PM
No but I won't lower mine my kid comes first only the best now so I guess I'll be single for a long time
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sid1083
by Silver Member on Nov. 2, 2013 at 12:21 AM
I used to be more flexible with my standards, making excuses all the time. Now that I keep to my standards I find it much harder to get to date #2, but for the most part, I'm okay with that.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
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