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Explain his behavior please? I am really really hurt? ETA UPDATED

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2013 at 12:00 AM
  • 9 Replies

fIRST FOF i APOLOGIZE FOR HOW LONG THIS IS. so I met this guy online from this dating site. the first date we had great chemistry, sexual and romantic. I didn't do anything with him and only stayed at his place for an hr before i jetted out. he texted me all week saying how he couldn't wait to see me again and some seting etc. he called me, wanted me to call him. on fri i meet him again, he takes me out to breakfast then a peir we walk around and he cuddles me, putting his arm around my waist etc.

then i go back to his place (mistake) where he begins kissing me etc., and one thing leads to another. he started kissing me all over my stomach and breasts and neck, and next thing I knew I consented to sex. It wasn't the sex that was great it was the leading up to that I liked.

anyways since then he has texted me 2-3 times a day, sometimes just every other day. the first day he texted me 3 times and after that he kind of simmered down a bit. I'm 30, he's 31 so it's not like sex is new to either of us.

anyways he has gone all day w/out texting me and then texted me "goodnight babe, thinking of you can't wait to see you again maybe we can talk tomorrow" tomorrow came we didn't talk. He usually initiates the texts.

He NEVER calls me by my name---only baby honey babe cutie. Sometimes sexy (which I really honestly don't like). But mostly baby, hon, babe, or cutie. which i don't mind and like.

anyways i knew we had agreed to meet again today last Fri.,., and I asked him about it he said "yeah well still HANG OUT" wtf? then he asked if I could stay the night and I said probably not. I asked about the movies since that's what we agreed on and he said "maybe". I texted him hi last night, and he responded with 'hey cutie". He then told me "I think i have food poisoning. I am sick as *uck, vomiting twice in the last hr." i said 'poor baby aww I could be your nruse" he said 'aww your sweet baby" and then I said "still want to keep our plans or are you too sick?" he said "i still wanna see you silly it just depends on how i feel". anyways we ended ona good note but i go online and I see his status on his profile says he's online. now sometimes if you don't exit the browser it says you're on there but i checked back later and you're off there. He also updated a facebook photo an hour before i texted him. I know when you're sick you can still do stuff like that but i am skeptical.

My question is, do you think he's lying about being sick but doesn't have the guts to cancel? do you think he's looking for other ppl/women and that bc I gave it up already he's bored w/me now? I just don't get why was so into me at first then sex is the be-all end-all, it shouldn't have to be that way. we're adults.

today he texted me "good morning baby" (more like noon). "I still feel like shit and I spent most of the morning sleeping and puking. I'll keep you posted." I responded with 'oh that sucks hope you feel better". I have not heard from him since. should I text him or leave him alone now, is the ball in his court?

I have had sex w.him twice now. wel last night more like 5 times. we got drunk together off vodka and we kept doing it in different positions---he is really hotttt (think a combo of matthew mccaughney and YOUNG mickey rourke)and we are both very attracted to each other. He wanted me in his bed this time, not the couch like alst time. He even gave me roals ex a couple of times.

Thing is he got out of prison for meth in Iowa multiple violations at only age 19 with a 2-mon-old son who later got taken by the state. he ended up in prison bc it's Iowa (he moved to cali where I/he lives), just last year. So basically he spent his whole 20-something decade in jail. i googled him and sure enough that's all he did. he is ridiculously good-looking and a great lover. He has tats up and down his back and arms---which i have a fetish for bad boys I have to admit.

Thing is, I kept saying "wear a condom, wear a condom" while drunk and I would kind of forget and go in and out of awareness. no I was not taken advantage---we were both buzzed and I fully consented.

ETA

anyways he texted me this morning and he asked me to please get the morning after pill bc he didnt think either of us was in a good posiiton to have a baby together. He offered to pay for it, and I said I could afford it. He said he was sorry and didn't mean to offend or upset me. I asked him if he was sure he came bc I thought he pulled out, he said he def. came at least a little in me.

I then texted him back why he couldnt just wear a condom like I asked and he said he "was horny and drunk and in the heat of the moment".

ETA AGAIN

Flash forward i took morning after pill, i elt him know after not eharing from him for a day. i took it on 3rd day afetr. He said "thanks for eltting me know. You okay?"

Afetr that he ahsnt texted much, usualyl I'll initiate a greeting a back and he'll respond with one/two word replies. The other day he initiated with me, it was a simple 'hey how's your day going" but i knew he was at work (he works in a mall kiosk as a marketing person and was probably bored).  I see him on facebook, he's prettya ctive. He spends time with female friends who are "not hsi type bc they're overweight" says he only likes skinny girls like me. I just feel like why can't he spend time w/me then instead of making me his sex toy...yes I know I allow it...but still.? he said that's what he wanted when ia sked what he wanted with me, and women in general.

Yesterday I texted him hello and he texted back 3 hrs later. he's been alte on texts and claims it's bc he's having phone problems...idk if that's true or not and suppsoe I never will. is aid "I never hear much from you anymore" and he said "between work and phone problems I don't talk to anyone much anymore." I then said "I miss you calling me pet names, why'd you stop lol? Just curious." he then said "aww honey, I'm sorry baby, is that better sweetheart?" (smiley face) couldn't tell if he was being saracstic or genuine bc it was texts.

Some more details: during sex he told me how much he loved my body, and kissed me everywhere but mainly my stomach for some reason, kept kissing and rubbing it every chance he got (I'm very thin and he says he likes girls with flat stomachs). . He treated me really tenderly. he even gave me oral sex a couple of times. I gave him one too and he even said how good at it I was.During the sex, he told me to say 'tell me you love me". I didn't reply and he said it again 'tell me you love me".

I don't get where or what I did wrong. He seemed really into me, more than i was into him. Was it just bc he was attracted to my body? Why would he be so tender acting toward me if he didnt care a little? i find myself staring at my phone, waiting for him to text. It's pathetic and I hate being that girl, I did this at 17, now I'm doing it at 30 wtf? I know I should focus on my 5 y/o dd and perhaps mending thigns w/her dad (or making a chocie to elave), but I find ymself pouring energy into this instead. I don't want to be atatched to him but afetr all the good feelings I can't help it. i thought he cared. Any advice on hwo to get over this? I will elave him alone from now on. I know if he wants to get ahold of me he will.

I know he was in prison for 12 years ( he later admitted it was 12, not 5), after I admitted to him i have an anxiety disorder, and this has probably affected his ability to be alone for logner than usual, but still.

Why is he doing this, any dieas? And how can i let it go?

by on Nov. 9, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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Replies (1-9):
cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 12:04 AM
Unfortunately a lot of guys change after you have sex. It does sound like he's pulling away.
Jenn8604
by Silver Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 12:04 AM
1 mom liked this
Leave him alone. He may be sick. Or there could be 100 other things. Don't worry about it. Leave the ball in his court. He doesn't text back he's an asshole who wants one thing and one thing only.
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happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 12:11 AM
1 mom liked this

i don't know what the dude is thinking.  

quite frankly- let it be what it is.  

you fucked the guy.  you realized it was a mistake- if he wants a real relationship, then let him pursue it. 

moosesmom
by Silver Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 1:57 PM

This. What's done is done. 

Quoting happymommy1105:

i don't know what the dude is thinking.  

quite frankly- let it be what it is.  

you fucked the guy.  you realized it was a mistake- if he wants a real relationship, then let him pursue it. 


virginiamama71
by Carrie on Nov. 9, 2013 at 2:42 PM

 I would stop all contact with him. Sounds like he got what he wanted and will let you know when he needs it again and you are better than that.  Keep yourself for someone better.

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 8:06 PM

Ball in his court. 

MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 8:26 PM
He's only about sex so if you wanna be strung along that's your choice. This is why sex so soon without a commitment is never a good idea. I've made my share of mistakes but he's giving you enough red flags to help you make your decision.
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hopealways4019
by Bronze Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 9:00 PM
1 mom liked this
You posted something similiar last week, new week, new guy? When will you learn? I gave you advice last week, see you didnt listen, guess another played you. And your right, about that profile stuff. I dont be snooping, but the guy who been texting me, i went tomy profile today, it said his last login was today! He still looking! Im glad i didnt drop my draws.
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sexysiren1983
by on Nov. 9, 2013 at 11:15 PM


it's the same guy

Quoting hopealways4019:

You posted something similiar last week, new week, new guy? When will you learn? I gave you advice last week, see you didnt listen, guess another played you. And your right, about that profile stuff. I dont be snooping, but the guy who been texting me, i went tomy profile today, it said his last login was today! He still looking! Im glad i didnt drop my draws.



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