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Dead beat

Posted by on Nov. 14, 2013 at 7:12 PM
  • 19 Replies
I was 2 1/2 months pregnant when I found out my boyfriend had been cheating on me for the past few months and that he had gotten the other girl pregnant too our due dates are the same day! I left him move back with my parents I lost my job due to 4 1/2 months of throwing up losing weight not being able to eat I got strict orders to bed rest my baby's father has been in and out I have gone three months of not hearing from hi he hasn't provided anything for our daughter my family has been doing it I'm due in 5 weeks but I just found out my daughters stomach is two weeks behind on development and I might have to be induce and he knows and he has not once check in he is not there but yet he says he is going to step up more now I don't know if I should keep him away from her or let him be there if he wants I know he smokes weed a lot now and so does the girl he is with she doesn't want him to have anything to do with me I don't want my daughter to be around that this is the second pregnancy I have had with him the first one was a miscarriage and while I was having that happen he was out with the girl I do want my daughter to have her father but not like this
by on Nov. 14, 2013 at 7:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 8:30 PM
You need to do what's best for your dd. Smoking around a baby can be horrible for their health.
Frances0923
by Bronze Member on Nov. 14, 2013 at 9:00 PM
Let him go. Focus on your baby. She can't choose her father but you can choose who's around her. If he's in and out now it'll be bad for him to do the same when your daughter is older.
libramoon007
by on Nov. 14, 2013 at 9:11 PM

Get rid of him now. 

dawncs
by on Nov. 14, 2013 at 10:12 PM
2 moms liked this
You have to realize she probably sees you as the problem and the cause of what she perceives as the cheater. However, he made the choice on his own to date and get pregnant two women at the same time. You are better off without him if he keeps you both. I recommend you file for child support the day after she is born because whoever files first, she gets child support based on his entire income, and the one who files second gets it based on whatever he has leftover after the first one filed. He will keep you going thinking of a relationship to keep you from filing. I would not trust him to pay child support on his own in this situation. I recommend having it garnished directly from his paychecks.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Nov. 15, 2013 at 12:40 AM
You need to do what is best for your child. Having a good father is what is important not a bad flakey one. Good luck
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alexis_06
by AnnaLisa on Nov. 15, 2013 at 12:29 PM

 just let him go...you cant force him to be involved, and you will be muuuuuch better off just going forward not worrying about whether or not he will be there.   he doesnt sound like he will be the greatest influence anyways..

DDDaysh
by Silver Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 2:47 PM
1 mom liked this

Honestly, this isn't ultimately your choice, it's his.  If he wants to be there he will be able to file papers with the court and have access to your mutual child.  If he doesn't want to be there, then even with a court order and visitation rights, he probably won't come around. 

I'd just let things be at this point.  Don't stress over what you cannot control. 

CrystalYaris
by Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 2:52 PM

This exactly

Quoting DDDaysh:

Honestly, this isn't ultimately your choice, it's his.  If he wants to be there he will be able to file papers with the court and have access to your mutual child.  If he doesn't want to be there, then even with a court order and visitation rights, he probably won't come around. 

I'd just let things be at this point.  Don't stress over what you cannot control. 


steviechick
by Gold Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 3:02 PM

Let him go.  I feel your pain.   My ex cheated on me and fathered two kids while still maintaining a relationship with me.  He's a deadbeat, too.  So not worth fatherhood.  Get cs in order and if he still won't pay directly get garnishments in place.  Forcing him to be a father is the only alternative when they are deadbeats.  Sad to say though my daughter is 19 and I still have to force her deadbeat father to be a father. 

lnrmom
by Bronze Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 4:11 PM

This. 


Quoting DDDaysh:

Honestly, this isn't ultimately your choice, it's his.  If he wants to be there he will be able to file papers with the court and have access to your mutual child.  If he doesn't want to be there, then even with a court order and visitation rights, he probably won't come around. 

I'd just let things be at this point.  Don't stress over what you cannot control. 


 

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