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Single Forever

Posted by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 4:43 PM
  • 29 Replies

Have you ever thought of being single forever?

I think that is my fate.  My love life is mirroring my mothers kind of. She was a single mom with three kids and we each had different fathers. Same thing with me. My oldest and the twins have differnt dads.

This is what I grew up on. I apparently do not know what a nice guy is and get the losers. Or maybe nice guys went extist like the dino's.

It gloomy and rainy here forgive me for the gloomy post.

sarcasm


by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 4:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
bluedeaj
by Deidre on Nov. 16, 2013 at 4:57 PM
2 moms liked this

I have felt that way before but really, I enjoy being in a committed relationship.  i learned in my marriage that, well marriage isn't easy.  Love IS a choice and you both need to choose to love the other every single day.  It's easy at first because of all the blindness.  Not being bothered by all the intricacies and bad habits that the other has.  Once that fades, you need to make that effort every day and continue to accept those flaws.  You also need to be able to grow with each other.

No one is perfect.  Everyone will have flaws and there is no one person meant for you that you'll never argue or disagree with, or dislike at times.  What makes the difference is if you're willing to accept that or not.

Have you ever read the five love languages?  It's an amazing book and you don't need to be in a relationship for it to have an impact on your life <3  Learning what YOUR love language is and learning that of other people is a huge help in life.

I hope you stop feeling so gloomy!  I know many people are a-ok with being single for the rest of their life.  For them, it's what works best.  I am unsure if that's where you stand though or if you're just feeling down.

Heath77
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 4:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Maybe you should read the Secret. You just need to love yourself and manifest a good man. I have been through a nightmare, but i have not lost my faith that i will find a wonderful man. There are a lot of great men out there. Just keep positive, pray about it and put out the intention to find a great man and you will attract someone who is nice and right for you. Just keep your thoughts positive. Good luck.  

Heath77
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 5:00 PM
3 moms liked this

Oh and if you believe and think it is your fate it will be. So instead say my fate is to meet and get married to a wonderful man. Think it feel it and keep saying it aloud and see what happens. It sounds silly, but it will work.

JannyCZ
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 5:01 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting bluedeaj:

I have felt that way before but really, I enjoy being in a committed relationship.  i learned in my marriage that, well marriage isn't easy.  Love IS a choice and you both need to choose to love the other every single day.  It's easy at first because of all the blindness.  Not being bothered by all the intricacies and bad habits that the other has.  Once that fades, you need to make that effort every day and continue to accept those flaws.  You also need to be able to grow with each other.

No one is perfect.  Everyone will have flaws and there is no one person meant for you that you'll never argue or disagree with, or dislike at times.  What makes the difference is if you're willing to accept that or not.

Have you ever read the five love languages?  It's an amazing book and you don't need to be in a relationship for it to have an impact on your life <3  Learning what YOUR love language is and learning that of other people is a huge help in life.

I hope you stop feeling so gloomy!  I know many people are a-ok with being single for the rest of their life.  For them, it's what works best.  I am unsure if that's where you stand though or if you're just feeling down.


Yeah I think there is a part of me that hopes maybe love will find me again. Going to check out that book too. Thanks!

hopealways4019
by Bronze Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 5:07 PM
1 mom liked this
I hope i dont be single forever... But that's where my non existence love life heading. I cant get on the same page with any guy, seems hopeless. I never had a dad or stepdad , my mom.died single. The way she was my whole life. If that's my fate? I accept.
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bluedeaj
by Deidre on Nov. 16, 2013 at 5:08 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting JannyCZ:



Quoting bluedeaj:

I have felt that way before but really, I enjoy being in a committed relationship.  i learned in my marriage that, well marriage isn't easy.  Love IS a choice and you both need to choose to love the other every single day.  It's easy at first because of all the blindness.  Not being bothered by all the intricacies and bad habits that the other has.  Once that fades, you need to make that effort every day and continue to accept those flaws.  You also need to be able to grow with each other.

No one is perfect.  Everyone will have flaws and there is no one person meant for you that you'll never argue or disagree with, or dislike at times.  What makes the difference is if you're willing to accept that or not.

Have you ever read the five love languages?  It's an amazing book and you don't need to be in a relationship for it to have an impact on your life <3  Learning what YOUR love language is and learning that of other people is a huge help in life.

I hope you stop feeling so gloomy!  I know many people are a-ok with being single for the rest of their life.  For them, it's what works best.  I am unsure if that's where you stand though or if you're just feeling down.


Yeah I think there is a part of me that hopes maybe love will find me again. Going to check out that book too. Thanks!

definitely!  You can also just google the 5 love languages quiz and take it for free online :)  Just finding out how YOU work will benefit your life tremendously.  I found out that my two (they are tied lol) love languages are Acts of Service and Quality Time.  I knew about the quality time, for sure.  I CRAVE it.  But, there are also different KINDS of quality time ;)  Something you might consider as quality time, another person might not.  And acts of service? Totally blew me out of the water.  I had no idea how important that was to me and how much it mattered until I took that quiz, read the book, and thought about it, etc.  But it's incredibly important to me.  And it's how I 'speak' to others to show my love.  I spend time with them, and I do things for them.

I learned what the love languages are of some of my closest friends (by them taking this quiz) and together, learning this part of each other, has helped our friendships a lot and understanding why we do things.  I will clean my friends house, or do her laundry, or babysit her kids with zero issue.  And it's me showing that I love her.  I don't give hugs (physical touch is way down on my list of importance), I don't usually give gifts.  But I legit DO things for the other person, above and beyond.  And if say, my friend has acts of service super low on their 'list' they might take offense to me doing their laundry.  They might consider it an invasion of privacy, so learning about each other helps with the understanding and knowing how to 'take' things.  The same in a marriage and committed relationship.  Understanding how the other person interacts and shows their love helps tremendously.  For me and my spouse, it was too little too late by the time we took the class at our church about this.  It wasn't enough to overcome all of our other issues (and there are LOTS).  But if you go INTO a relationship knowing about this stuff I am positive it will help everyone involved :)


JannyCZ
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 5:10 PM



Quoting Heath77:

Oh and if you believe and think it is your fate it will be. So instead say my fate is to meet and get married to a wonderful man. Think it feel it and keep saying it aloud and see what happens. It sounds silly, but it will work.


Yeah you are right. put out negative you get negative back. Put out positive you get positive back.

So hard to do sometimes.

JannyCZ
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 5:13 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting hopealways4019:

I hope i dont be single forever... But that's where my non existence love life heading. I cant get on the same page with any guy, seems hopeless. I never had a dad or stepdad , my mom.died single. The way she was my whole life. If that's my fate? I accept.


I feel ya

hugs

SheciaBaby
by on Nov. 16, 2013 at 5:13 PM
Who's it by?


Quoting bluedeaj:

I have felt that way before but really, I enjoy being in a committed relationship.  i learned in my marriage that, well marriage isn't easy.  Love IS a choice and you both need to choose to love the other every single day.  It's easy at first because of all the blindness.  Not being bothered by all the intricacies and bad habits that the other has.  Once that fades, you need to make that effort every day and continue to accept those flaws.  You also need to be able to grow with each other.

No one is perfect.  Everyone will have flaws and there is no one person meant for you that you'll never argue or disagree with, or dislike at times.  What makes the difference is if you're willing to accept that or not.

Have you ever read the five love languages?  It's an amazing book and you don't need to be in a relationship for it to have an impact on your life <3  Learning what YOUR love language is and learning that of other people is a huge help in life.

I hope you stop feeling so gloomy!  I know many people are a-ok with being single for the rest of their life.  For them, it's what works best.  I am unsure if that's where you stand though or if you're just feeling down.


Bookoholic
by Bronze Member on Nov. 16, 2013 at 5:19 PM
I am also feeling that singleness is going to be me too. I've just come to accept it, but as pp said read the five love languages.
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