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single moms do you expect too much from your kids

Posted by on Nov. 17, 2013 at 4:32 AM
  • 12 Replies
1 mom liked this
I have a five year old son...I don't know if I am expecting too much from him but I need advice. Can someone help me and tell me what to expect from a five year old who doesn't act or look like one..like he's an old soul...I swear. What I should get mad at or not.its tough I'm expecting my third and I'm single...and time out sucks so I go old fashion and put him in time out after but I want to make sure I'm not understanding he's only five...
by on Nov. 17, 2013 at 4:32 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mrsary
by Silver Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 4:46 AM
Yes we expect too much.
Chelsey191
by Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 4:54 AM
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When I tell my bf my 5 yo did something, the first thing he asks is did you tell him not to? It always makes me think. Did I tell him not to touch the stuff in the bathroom drawers? No, I didn't. So I let that guide me and him and I talk it out. Did I tell him not to help himself to his Halloween candy? Yes I did. So he would be grounded from it. I hold him accountable either way but if its something I specifically told him not to do he gets disciplined.

It's so easy as an adult to think he should know better because we do but in reality, we know better because we were taught better.
cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 8:29 AM
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We typically do expect too much from our kids. I used to step back and remind myself that ds is only 5 and think about whether or not he should be in trouble. I often found when I punished I forgot he's only 5.
libramoon007
by on Nov. 17, 2013 at 9:40 AM
1 mom liked this

Yes. I forget all the time. Because it is just myself and her and it is so difficult sometimes. She should know better but in reality she is only 4. She has only been here 4 yrs. I am working on it. 

Saurusmom8
by Bronze Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 10:53 AM
Yes. Its hard but we also have to understand that we are solo. There is more stress and pressure to parent.. and so I try to step back and give myself the same understanding I give my son. I then move forward trying to do better and apologize as needed.

My son is also an old soul. He does know and you also have to meet your child at their personal point of of understanding. That's why we are the parents.

charmgirl
by Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 10:57 AM
1 mom liked this
I struggle a lot with this. I know I treat my five year old like he's an adult sometimes. I just get so bitter and I sometimes start seeing his behavior as if he's being like his father.
Saurusmom8
by Bronze Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 10:58 AM
I know my parents forfeited a lot of responsibility towards me and it has made me want to be better with my son. Finding balance starts with experiencing extremes and changing. :)

My dad was super hard on me in so much and then became so passive with no responsibility or desire to just work through.. I don't want that for my son. I am stillpunished for things I wasn't old enough to know.. its definitely about balance and meeting your child where they are at and the healthy stretch with them as they grow on.. It requires the desire and eyes to see your child apart from you and yet connected with you.

Since its a concern at all, I would say that makes you a great mom. Its easy for your bf to say.. but remember, you are parenting alone and should the shoe be on the other foot.. he would be wondering the same.
Saurusmom8
by Bronze Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 11:00 AM
Oops! Sorry.. I was responding to OP but read about someones bf.. and mixed the two. I apologize for that. :)


Quoting Saurusmom8:

I know my parents forfeited a lot of responsibility towards me and it has made me want to be better with my son. Finding balance starts with experiencing extremes and changing. :)



My dad was super hard on me in so much and then became so passive with no responsibility or desire to just work through.. I don't want that for my son. I am stillpunished for things I wasn't old enough to know.. its definitely about balance and meeting your child where they are at and the healthy stretch with them as they grow on.. It requires the desire and eyes to see your child apart from you and yet connected with you.



Since its a concern at all, I would say that makes you a great mom. Its easy for your bf to say.. but remember, you are parenting alone and should the shoe be on the other foot.. he would be wondering the same.

labrax
by Member on Nov. 17, 2013 at 1:18 PM

I agree with Mrsary, we all do. I guess it's because we put in so much effort to raise them so we unconsciously expect to reap immediate rewards.

i'll have to pay more attention now.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Nov. 17, 2013 at 11:50 PM
I do and I have to step back and remind myself he's 3. I also don't want him to act like other 3 year olds it's never to young to teach courtesy and respect
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