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Really??? How long have you been on your own PIOG

Posted by on Nov. 23, 2013 at 2:54 PM
  • 24 Replies
2 moms liked this
Okay maybe I am just a little sensitive but this just passed me off. In another group someone posted a topic asking other sahms what was the longest they have ever been on their own with their husband gone at work/travelling/deployed. Some of these women were saying how hard 2-3 weeks, a month and oh gosh a 6 month deployment was. Really? Are they so fragile that they cannot stand on their own two feet without a man's help? Last I checked this is the 21st century not the 1800s.

Yes I am a bit sensitive. I was a military wife, survived 10 deployments the last one causing serious injury to my husband. Now as a single mom providing for my four children with little help from their dad or family.
by on Nov. 23, 2013 at 2:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mrsary
by Silver Member on Nov. 23, 2013 at 2:56 PM
I saw that too... I was thinking, FOREVER!!
CampClan
by Bronze Member on Nov. 23, 2013 at 3:47 PM
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Okay I replied to that & didn't realize it meant SAHMs or wives of military spouses. I have been married before but he wasn't any help at all (he really had to refer to me for everything). So I commented "17 years" which is how old my oldest son is.

I'm not saying I've never asked my parents to help me out with watching the kids for a few hours or anything like that. I just have never really had a man I can trust enough to make decisions for my kids if I'm not there.

diaperstodating
by Queen24Princes on Nov. 23, 2013 at 4:11 PM

I saw that post to.

angry

diaperstodating
by Queen24Princes on Nov. 23, 2013 at 4:15 PM

In my opinion I think you should be a strong woman to marry a man in the military and be able to take your of your family when your husband is away. I have a coworker in her 60's when she was younger and her husband went away on deployment she was strong enough to take care of her children on her own when her husband was gone. Her daughter in law is different; when my coworker's son goes away on deployment her daughter in law packs up the suitcases and her and her children stay with her parents for weeks at a time until her husband comes back to town. She does this EVERY time he leaves. (She has to pack because her parents live in another state).

bluedeaj
by on Nov. 23, 2013 at 6:51 PM
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It's a completely different setting, I'm sure you know that as having been a spouse of a military member before :)  It's different having them being forced to stay away from you, than if they choose to stay away from you (the spouse/service member).  I went through two deployments myself and I rocked it.  I was also a stay at home mom at that time and came across a LOT of spouses that referenced it as being the same as a single mother which is ridiculous, because it is NOT at all like that.  I was able to be a stay at home mom, while he was deployed.  I didn't have to work or worry about any of that.  But the emotional toll when you add a spouse that you love with your whole heart being put in a combat zone, that is not a stress that single moms have.

Many women marry into the military at the age of 18-20yrs old.  With their spouse being about the same age so no, they have not learned to stand on their own two feet without a man before.  They went from living at home with their parents, to being married and being taken care of completely financially with the military (and whoever says they don't make enough money... think for a moment about all the benefits they receive).  I know that I didn't have much of a clue before I got married at 20yrs old.  It takes learning and there are many spouses of the military that sadly, just suck at it.  I kicked ass as a military spouse, in my personal opinion lol.  I did horrible once he was home all the time on shore duty and that was when our problems became REALLY noticeable, because he wasn't in and out constantly and the problems being unnoticed.

I really feel for anyone that deals with any kind of separation from their spouse/partner. Even if it's 'only' 5 days.  No matter how much time has passed, you still miss your spouse and wish they were there.  It does no good to compare.

libramoon007
by on Nov. 23, 2013 at 9:58 PM

Well truthfully only a year because I lived with and then really close to my parents for 3.5 yrs. I moved for a job and I live 4 hrs from them now. My dd father is no where in the picture so it is just us. 

lauraash06
by Ashley on Nov. 24, 2013 at 10:19 AM
I saw that also....grrrrr
Cenedra64
by on Nov. 24, 2013 at 11:32 AM
2 moms liked this
Ive been on all sides of the coin. I was military...my ex spent 20 yrs in special forces..ive been a sahm thru deployments and a working mom single. I manage. Ive had women and men tell me how strong i am and a survivor. Strong? Sometimes im tired of being ''strong'' let me cry. Survivor? Sometimes the use of that word out of some peoples mouths sounds like ''user''
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kali_w2
by on Nov. 24, 2013 at 12:04 PM
1 mom liked this


To bad / sad your 'sensitivity' hasn't grown into compassion for others.

That post / thread is just as vaild as yours.  Pot, meet kettle.

Quoting krisnkids:

Okay maybe I am just a little sensitive but this just passed me off. In another group someone posted a topic asking other sahms what was the longest they have ever been on their own with their husband gone at work/travelling/deployed. Some of these women were saying how hard 2-3 weeks, a month and oh gosh a 6 month deployment was. Really? Are they so fragile that they cannot stand on their own two feet without a man's help? Last I checked this is the 21st century not the 1800s.

Yes I am a bit sensitive. I was a military wife, survived 10 deployments the last one causing serious injury to my husband. Now as a single mom providing for my four children with little help from their dad or family.



faerie75
by Ruby Member on Nov. 24, 2013 at 12:57 PM
I don't necessarily consider the daughter in law weak. Possibly the husband is stationed somewhere they have no family or support network so she goes to stay w fam since he's gone anyways. I don't really like being far from family.

Quoting diaperstodating:

In my opinion I think you should be a strong woman to marry a man in the military and be able to take your of your family when your husband is away. I have a coworker in her 60's when she was younger and her husband went away on deployment she was strong enough to take care of her children on her own when her husband was gone.
Her daughter in law is different; when my coworker's son goes away on deployment her daughter in law packs up the suitcases and her and her children stay with her parents for weeks at a time until her husband comes back to town. She does this EVERY time he leaves. (She has to pack because her parents live in another state).

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