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Dating out if your tax bracket?

Posted by on Nov. 26, 2013 at 8:24 PM
  • 22 Replies
I've been seeing a very nice man for the past couple of weeks. He is older than I am by 9 years and has been in his job for 21 years making a very nice salary it seems. His education matches mine - we both hold masters degrees. He seems to be the pillar of stability which is very settling for me. I've dated and married men who were below me educationally and career wise.

I have a nice home that I own, it's modest yet fairly new. He has a very nice custom built home much more expensive than mine. This is the first time I've ever dated someone this far out of my tax bracket and I feel weird. Almost self conscience about it. He's offered to help me on some home projects this week, but I told him I was self conscience about it. He's not replied back. But how can I keep from sabotaging this potential realationship? Anyone else date down but really need to date up and feel uncomfortable?
by on Nov. 26, 2013 at 8:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Cenedra64
by Bronze Member on Nov. 26, 2013 at 9:21 PM
I have way back when i was younger dated officers. Taboo back then LOL but i loved someone more educated and challenging and mature. Ive also dated the ''bad boys" coz they were just fun. Doesnt matter income level. That can go up or down. but i dont think you should let that intimidate you. See whats in his heart matters
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sid1083
by Silver Member on Nov. 27, 2013 at 1:04 AM
2 moms liked this
I have dated both ways - up and down. I much prefer up…I feel like I'll have a better chance of getting where I want to be if I can surround myself with people who I want to be like.
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diaperstodating
by Angel on Nov. 27, 2013 at 1:06 AM
Bump
alexis_06
by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 2:51 AM

 i've never dated "up"...would be nice to try the other end..lol, that guys i've dated were such losers! i guess it's cuz i figured i didnt derserve any better...

Kirbyjo
by Member on Nov. 27, 2013 at 8:19 AM
1 mom liked this
Thanks ladies. He was very kind in his response and said he was sure my house is nice and still offered to help. It's a good problem to have and I'll just need to take one step at a time. Up certainly is better than down! Lol
Heath77
by on Nov. 27, 2013 at 9:20 AM
1 mom liked this
I know exactly how you feel. I was supposed to meet this man for months now and haven't. He just lives right down the highway from me. I live in a nice neighborhood in a nice house, but I have a small, older car. I would have gotten a new one with my divorce settlement, but I had a legal issue that I had to use the money for so I am self conscious. He lives in a more expensive area in a beautiful home. Honestly if I had a new car I would go meet him. I'm just self conscious about my car. If I were you I wouldn't worry
. Wealthy men don't care about things like what you are worrying about. I have only dated wealthy men with the same educational level as me or higher, except. My ex makes who makes good money and has the same educational level as me, but hes not as wealthy as the other men i had relationships with.. I dated before and since him very wealthy men and my only issue was I was embarrassed about my car, but the men never said anything. I live in a nice area and dress well, but my car doesn't match. Men are more visual. They value beauty and youth. They look for different things in potential mates. I would just enjoy this man. I have been in your shoes and the men really don't care. In fact this man could take your self consciousness as a sign youre not interested. I would say go for it.
amber3902
by Member on Nov. 27, 2013 at 2:03 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm almost in the same boat at you.  I'm in a relationship with a man 7 years older than me.  I have an associates degree, he is one year short of a masters.  He makes three times what I do. 

But we have a lot in common, we have the same religious and political views, and we like a lot of the same things.  It's almost like we were made for each other.

You should not be ashamed of what you don't have.  Men don't care about where you live or what type of car you drive.  All they care about is your physical appearance and if you have a good attitude.  They don't care about your accomplishments or lack thereof. 

He wants to help you, let him!  You could wind up like me!  :) 

I currently live with my SO, in a nice four bedroom house in a nice community that has a pool and club house.  He pays all the bills so all I have to do is take care of personal stuff for me and my girls. Because we live in the richest part of town, my girls get to go the best schools in town.  It's VERY nice.

I've always dated down in the past and what did that get me?  A lot of debt and a low credit score!

quickbooksworm
by Bronze Member on Nov. 27, 2013 at 2:07 PM
The guy I'm dating is a tax bracket up. Its hard to tell because I don't discuss money with him much and I have a child where he doesn't. Even a childless person making the same as me would have more. But he s from a socialist country where they do what they are good at with little regard to income since there isn't a class gap. He gets that I like what I do regardless of money and I know he likes what he does too.
easinpc
by Gold Member on Nov. 27, 2013 at 2:19 PM

Most of the guys I've dated in the past were either around the same tax bracket or below me.  The guy I'm seeing now makes about the same as I do a year.

Callaly
by Jessica on Nov. 27, 2013 at 3:14 PM

I have dated people making no money, people making alot of money, or people that were way better at managing money then I was..

My SO makes a little more then me.. to be honest, if you are the type of girl that is willing to have a man take care of her.. then there shouldn't be a problem, because with my expeirence, that is what he will want and end up doing.

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