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Should single moms with small children date?

Posted by on Nov. 29, 2013 at 8:51 PM
  • 8 Replies
Should single moms of young children date? I have two girls ages 2 and 4 and they have different dads. Things didn't work out with either dad. I don't want men coming in and out of their life. I want to be a good example to my girls. I met a guy that I'm friends with we have been talking for 3 months because we were introduced by someone else when he got out of prison 3 months ago for. We haven't become sexually involved or anything like that just good friends. He acts like he really wants to make me and my girls a family. He tries to give me money for the girls an everything I hate to lose him as a friend but I don't feel ready for a relationship. I'm really confused I'm 22 years old so that could be a reason that I'm young. None of my relationships last long so I don't know if I need to go to therapy an see what my problem is. I know I should probably not try to date right now and focus even my girls and school but I really would like to get some others opinions.
by on Nov. 29, 2013 at 8:51 PM
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Replies (1-8):
mrsary
by Silver Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 8:55 PM
2 moms liked this
Depends on why he was in prison. Yes it is ok for you to date in general!
randi1978
by Murdoc's Mistress on Nov. 29, 2013 at 9:51 PM
1 mom liked this

The fact that he was in prison would be a huge red flag and hell no for me.

Find someone different.  Someone without such a sketchy past and with a better head on their shoulders.

sid1083
by Silver Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 10:43 PM
It's fine to date while raising young children…personally I wouldn't expose them to many dates - especially if it's not serious & committed. Also another personal no-no for me is the whole prison thing…I need someone who will be able to completely self-support and I don't want to worry about a reoffence. Felons have a tougher go of it and I don't need to make my, or my children's lives any harder.
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MaMa.Lu
by Member on Nov. 29, 2013 at 11:14 PM
4 moms liked this
I really hate to sound prude but you're 22 with two.kids by two different dads. And you're talking to a guy who.just got out of prison???

Please please please don't feed into the stereotypes of single moms. Focus on yourself and your children and find someone who hasn't been in prison. That's a step in the right direction if you really want to be a good mom.
alexis_06
by AnnaLisa on Nov. 30, 2013 at 3:57 AM

 i wouldnt want to date someone in prison..i'd like to think "well it depends on WHY he was in prison" but really...no..that's not setting a good example to MY kids.  but yess, it's ok for you to date, in general!

Carmelivi
by Member on Nov. 30, 2013 at 8:29 AM
I agreed with you, focus on taking care the girls and yourself, go to school if you can do some thing productive. Wish you good luck.
PKK
by Member on Nov. 30, 2013 at 5:00 PM

It's nice to see the thoughtful responses to an original post; sometimes that's hard come by around here.  I'm inclined to agree with the ladies' suggestions that you look to someone other than a parolee, for companionship.  Sure, anyone is capable of redemption, but the best predictor of future behavior is relevant, past behavior.

You, ultimately, have to make the choice of what you deem to be an appropriate example to set for your girls.  Whatever you decide, I wish you luck.

I fall on the conservative end of the spectrum.  I knew, when I separated from my husband, that I would never date again.  My beliefs - which are MINE, and designed for ME to follow - suggest that it's inappropriate for me to ever date again, because I've been married.  I took vows when I got married which clearly stated "'till death".  It was I who ended the marriage - for my son's and my safety - but I still feel it's MY OBLIGATION to uphold the promises I made.  

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Dec. 2, 2013 at 7:49 PM

 If you want to be a better example to your girls, make sure you are making wiser choices.

Quoting meranda20: Should single moms of young children date? I have two girls ages 2 and 4 and they have different dads. Things didn't work out with either dad. I don't want men coming in and out of their life. I want to be a good example to my girls. I met a guy that I'm friends with we have been talking for 3 months because we were introduced by someone else when he got out of prison 3 months ago for. We haven't become sexually involved or anything like that just good friends. He acts like he really wants to make me and my girls a family. He tries to give me money for the girls an everything I hate to lose him as a friend but I don't feel ready for a relationship. I'm really confused I'm 22 years old so that could be a reason that I'm young. None of my relationships last long so I don't know if I need to go to therapy an see what my problem is. I know I should probably not try to date right now and focus even my girls and school but I really would like to get some others opinions.

 

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