Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

When Is It Ok For Your Boyfriend To Sleep Over?

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 10:01 PM
  • 17 Replies

How far into the relationship do you think it is ok for your boyfriend to sleep over when you have your child? I am not considering however the subject did come up the other night. My boyfriend lives in another town over an hour away. My daughter and I had spent the whole day with him and his extended family (Thanksgiving) and he said he wished he could stay over rather than driving back. I wish he could to but I do not want my daughter being confused by this. She knows he is my boyfriend and has seen us kiss before. He is AMAZING with her and she is very fond of him. I just wanted to give a little background about the relationship but just wanted all opinions of when they would or did start letting their boyfriend sleep over. Thanks :)

by on Dec. 3, 2013 at 10:01 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Mom-does-hair
by Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 10:05 PM
My bf lives an hour away. I have a no sleepover rule when my kids are home, but we get a lot of snow here and if it got bad out, I would let him stay. One of us would sleep on the couch, or at least make it look that way. He would leave for work way before the kids got up. I don't believe the kids should see us in the same bed unless we get married. They love him and want that to happen. Hope it does.
hollyann85
by Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 10:06 PM

 So you won't live with him before you get married? Just wondering :)

Quoting Mom-does-hair: My bf lives an hour away. I have a no sleepover rule when my kids are home, but we get a lot of snow here and if it got bad out, I would let him stay. One of us would sleep on the couch, or at least make it look that way. He would leave for work way before the kids got up. I don't believe the kids should see us in the same bed unless we get married. They love him and want that to happen. Hope it does.

 

cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Dec. 3, 2013 at 10:08 PM
I don't think there's one answer to this. If the kids are home I say at least a year.
abismommy25
by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 1:15 AM
How long have you been dating an how long have you two been together in front of the kid/s? Like gone on date(u him kids), hung out all day/ expressed feelings/ showed in front of kids?
Dh an I " dated" 3 months before he met dd ( 2 at time) an met him in a group friend setting 4 or 5 different times to establish " knowledge of who he was" then he started coming to my house about a HR before dd went to bed an stayed till about 11/midnight an this was 8 months total after dating/ being officially together. Dd an I wld go hang at his house usually we'd leave at bedtime or her n I would sleep in his bed an he on couch or floor by bed. An vice versa at my house.after he n dd had a relationship an he n i was confident it was serious. He moved in a total of 16 months after initial first date.proposed to me at 19 months an we got married 8 months later. That's just my story, but as long as u r comfortable an kids are I don't c a problem..its up to the kids really, like if they constantly ask about him or want him around
hopealways4019
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 6:50 AM
How long have yall been dating? I would say its ok when your certain? He not a pedophile, killer, abuser . Or you can wait till daughter is sleep, then yall can spend quality time together.
designkal3
by Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 7:05 AM
I think this is really just a situational judgement call. I've dated here and there since my divorce but my kids have only known of 2. One lasted for 2 and a half years and we didn't start having sleepovers until about a year into it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 7:27 AM

The answers to this question will vary but I'll say this...if you want a man to sleep over and you've known him awhile but your kids haven't met him (or even if they have) here is what you can do. You can have him come over after your child(ren) have gone to bed for the night and then you can have him up and out before they wake up in the morning. If he can't respect that then you don't need him anyway.

Rain2Rinse
by Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 8:22 AM
Well, dh and I didn't even have sex for a year after dating. We cuddled during the day, and then went home. He met dd after a year and a half of our dating. The plan was to never spend the night with each other until marriage. I didn't want a man in my daughter's home, or her in his until I knew for sure that it was forever. Or, at least, hopefully forever :)

During our engagement I went through a custody case in a very southern state. My attorney had dealt with this judge before and told me that if I expected her to give me what I wanted, we would need to be living with my fiancé. So.... We moved in together at around year 2, I think.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 9:06 AM
3 moms liked this

My rule is that when we are married. Yes that is old fashioned for many but to me I am setting the example for my children. How can I tell them one thing and do another?

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Dec. 4, 2013 at 9:30 AM

 this

Quoting krisnkids:

My rule is that when we are married. Yes that is old fashioned for many but to me I am setting the example for my children. How can I tell them one thing and do another?

 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)