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should he have the father last name??

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 12:41 AM
  • 24 Replies
I'm 39 weeks pregnant mu partner left me when I was 8 weeks pregnant. It was hard for our oldest son he's 4 and for me. Now that I will finally give birth to my second son I don't know if he should have hes last name. He have been helping me with the rent. He doesn't see our son because hes new partner does not let him do it. I really don't know what to do. Any advice?
by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 12:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sid1083
by Silver Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 4:27 AM
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I gave both my kids their dad's last name, even though he left halfway through pregnancy #2. My main reasoning is that their dad is unlikely to change his last name upon a future marriage, whereas I would. To me, it was just a name and not something I was overly attached to.
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dawncs
by on Dec. 4, 2013 at 7:54 AM
2 moms liked this

His new partner could be jealous of your sons. However, she has to realize if he could do it to your sons that he could do it to her child if she becomes pregnant. She is being very stupid. I recommend once the second one is born to file for child support. I recommend having it garnished from his paychecks, so he can't play any games with it. It will enable you to not be at the mercy if future girlfriends get jealous of him helping you or him paying child support.

Dawn
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Nisha929
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 8:23 AM
1 mom liked this

My kids have both our last names although he isn't in their lives. My daughter (13) doesn't use his last name though. Honestly I'm thinking about just dropping his last name from my kids names. I say do what you want to do.  

easinpc
by Gold Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this

Have you mentioned it to him at all to see what his thoughts are?  In the end it is up to you and what you feel is best for you and your child.

Delila12
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 10:39 AM
1 mom liked this
You should talk to him about it. I had a similar situation when I was pregnant. My mom told me to put his last name down just in case he gets famous or comes into some money, then it will be easier to get child support. Lol. But ds's dad wanted ds to have his last name, other words ds would have just had mine.
jackestler
by Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 10:44 AM
He does want him to have his last name. But I'm not sure about it. Sometimes when he gets mad he will threat me to go and fight for custody of our oldest son and I want him to have that type of control over me with my new baby
colins_mom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 10:46 AM
1 mom liked this
my son has his dads.last name but his dad and I were.together when he was born. that and he is really involved. I mean if he was super involved with the older child and it seemed like he would be involved with the younger I would say do it, but it doesn't look that way.
colins_mom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 10:48 AM
1 mom liked this
regardless of last name if he is on the bc he can fight for custody. but its a lot harder than it looks. he is using it as a scare.tactic to get his way.

Quoting jackestler: He does want him to have his last name. But I'm not sure about it. Sometimes when he gets mad he will threat me to go and fight for custody of our oldest son and I want him to have that type of control over me with my new baby
jackestler
by Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 10:51 AM
I learned that in the last weeks. Because I was trying to move out state since I don't have any family here and he got Furious and told me he was gonna figth custody and acusse me of kidnapping.

Quoting colins_mom: regardless of last name if he is on the bc he can fight for custody. but its a lot harder than it looks. he is using it as a scare.tactic to get his way.



Quoting jackestler: He does want him to have his last name. But I'm not sure about it. Sometimes when he gets mad he will threat me to go and fight for custody of our oldest son and I want him to have that type of control over me with my new baby
colins_mom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 4, 2013 at 10:53 AM
what state are you in? in many states if you weren't married when the baby is born the mother automatically has full legal and physical custody. if there is no custody agreement you can't be charged with kidnapping. dont let him control you. if you need to move, do it quickly.

Quoting jackestler: I learned that in the last weeks. Because I was trying to move out state since I don't have any family here and he got Furious and told me he was gonna figth custody and acusse me of kidnapping.



Quoting colins_mom: regardless of last name if he is on the bc he can fight for custody. but its a lot harder than it looks. he is using it as a scare.tactic to get his way.





Quoting jackestler: He does want him to have his last name. But I'm not sure about it. Sometimes when he gets mad he will threat me to go and fight for custody of our oldest son and I want him to have that type of control over me with my new baby
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