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awful evening with my 5 year old.

Posted by on Dec. 10, 2013 at 8:44 PM
  • 8 Replies

I am just wondering what to do about my feelings lately. I have a super sweet but super needy 5 year old who has sensory processing disorder. She’s socially awkward and says random things that show me she clearly has pragmatic speech issues. My poor 4 year old is a sweetheart but feisty as can be. I’m overwhelmed and I feel like such a crappy mom. As hard as I try to do things right, take them both to swimming, gymnastics, therapy and do fun things with them and feed them good healthy food, I feel like they (especially my 5 year old) is never happy. I never thought I would feel like I wasn’t good enough for my kids, but that is exactly what I feel. I’ve even thought they may be better off without me. I have no help. I have no family in this country. All I have is my babies who I love to pieces… but who don’t seem to be happy with me. Today, she told my ex-husband on the phone that she wants a new mom. I’m so hurt. I’m so devastated. Tomorrow is a new day and I’ll wake up and do everything I think I should do… and they will say they love me, and laugh and have fun. But the moment something goes even a little off… it will all go back to me feeling awful like this. What am I doing wrong?

by on Dec. 10, 2013 at 8:44 PM
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Replies (1-8):
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Dec. 10, 2013 at 11:34 PM
Nothing and remember that we all have good and bad days maybe take a little time for you even just going to the grocery store by yourself
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Belovedmoonpixi
by Bronze Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 12:02 AM
((hugs)) You´re not giving yourself enough credit... and I agree that you need a break.
Chelsea_rh
by Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 1:51 AM
Yes it definitely sounds like you need some alone time. Don't beat yourself up. Kids say things that they don't mean, just like adults do. Everything will be okay. You keep up the good work.
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cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 7:55 AM
It sounds like you need a break
jinxmom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 8:01 AM

SPD usually goes along w/adhd is there a possibility that she also has adhd? Sounds a lot like adhd, but I'm not an expert just have a dd with it. [sigh] I don't think u r doing anything wrong just everything right.  I was told by a therapist to not take personal what my dd says or does, hard but taking the emotion out of it can help. (HUGS)

heretolisten
by Bronze Member on Dec. 11, 2013 at 10:39 AM

I'm so sorry you feel this way.  When were you divorced?  

Heath77
by on Dec. 12, 2013 at 4:03 AM
My son was rude to me yesterday. I would never dreamed of speaking to my parents the way he spoke to me. I was so upset and just wanted to throw in the towel. I do everything for my son too. He has the best of everything even though im divorced. My ex and I still manage to give him everything we can. I go without for my son and everything I do is for him and he was very rude and disrespectful to me. I give so much yet my son doesn't appreciate whay I do. I just felt like maybe all my efforts are worthless. Everyone says I am too nice and my son calls me mean. All of his friends think I am so nice, but my son says I am mean. Sorry I had a bad day and I do everything for my son. Clean, nice clothes, nice meals and he has everything he could need and more, but I am mean. Wow. It hurts and I am hoping we were just both having bad days.
Heath77
by on Dec. 12, 2013 at 10:23 AM
I go through this too from time to time like last night. I dont think you are doing anything wrong. I know my son's friends and other kids his age like me a lot. All the kids in our neighborhood talk to me yet my son was calling me mean last night and doesn't listen to me or respect me a lot of the time. I bend over backwards to make sure he has everything he needs even if I go without. My mom and others seem to think thats the problem. They say I am too nice and accomodating to my son. I sometimes think its a different issue with my son though. I wish I knew. I was crying when he went to bed last night because I do it all as a single mom yet my son says I am mean and was disrespectful to me. Hes like that with my parents too who also love my son to pieces and do everything for him. I was actually contemplating getting back with my ex because I have no boyfriend and im exhausted doing this on my own. Then I asked God for a sign if that was the right thing to doand I opened a fortune cookie from the night before and it said true happiness means being on your own by your self. I took that as a sign and I know I am much happier by myself, but wow sometimes being a single mom is rough. Its hard doing everything alone and then not having a grateful child when I see other kids who are less fortunate and would love to have the life my son has. I just pray that one day he will realize how good he has it. Maybe now he is too young to understand. I think for me I will just stop being so nice and giving so much and maybe then my son will appreciate me, but I am so nice. Ugh...

Quoting twolilonesnme:

I am just wondering what to do about my feelings lately. I have a super sweet but super needy 5 year old who has sensory processing disorder. She’s socially awkward and says random things that show me she clearly has pragmatic speech issues. My poor 4 year old is a sweetheart but feisty as can be. I’m overwhelmed and I feel like such a crappy mom. As hard as I try to do things right, take them both to swimming, gymnastics, therapy and do fun things with them and feed them good healthy food, I feel like they (especially my 5 year old) is never happy. I never thought I would feel like I wasn’t good enough for my kids, but that is exactly what I feel. I’ve even thought they may be better off without me. I have no help. I have no family in this country. All I have is my babies who I love to pieces… but who don’t seem to be happy with me. Today, she told my ex-husband on the phone that she wants a new mom. I’m so hurt. I’m so devastated. Tomorrow is a new day and I’ll wake up and do everything I think I should do… and they will say they love me, and laugh and have fun. But the moment something goes even a little off… it will all go back to me feeling awful like this. What am I doing wrong?

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