So, to make a long story short, my son's father isn't involved too much in my son's life. My son turns three in a few months and his dad only sees him for about two hrs a week. I really don't want him being involved more than that for various reasons. His dad is not fit to be a parent, but I do still want my son to knoww him and have a realtionship with him, so I scheduled visits (non-court ordered). His dad doesnt always come, his excuses always seem understandable but most the time word gets back to me that he was out drinking or something. He does pay court ordered child support (finally!). Me and my son's father don't have too great if a past, and the first year-two years of his life things weren't as civil as they are now and he messed up a lot more often (was in and out of his sons life, wouldn't buy things for him unless he got to see him, would attempt to get back with me, we'd fight over the custody topic, ect).
I'm curious, if anyone else is in a similar situation as mine, how do you handle the frustrating of dealing with the dad? I'm in a relationship now, and my bf is amazing. He's very understanding of his father needing to be around and is even very nice and welcoming to his dad in our home. But his dad continuously makes passes at me, won't show up for visits and then plays the victim and asks when he'll be able to have custody. He argues with me constantly, won't take no for an answer, drinks and parties still, and to make matters worse, my son is in the process of being diagnosed for autism and therefore he has issues dealing with new environments and routines, isn't keen to strangers, throws fits really easy (his dad has quite a a bit of a temper, so that worries me) and I have to have him on a strict diet to maintain his tempermant... my sons health reason alone are enough to make me not want him to go with his father anywhere alone, but his dad doesn't take this into account and refuses to. He constantly wants to take him to things that are steroetypical bonding things, like going to see Santa, but thsoe are triggers that send my son into a panicked frenzy but his dad is too selfish to realize this and just wants to "play daddy", I find myself so frustrated and wanting to yell at him, but I know I need to be the mature adult, its just so difficult.
Any moms out there in this situation have advice for me? Thanks!