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Please Help ! ! ! how do i deal with a deadbeat and child support

Posted by on Dec. 23, 2013 at 5:34 AM
  • 35 Replies

So about a month or 2 ago i was able to get this loser to finally sign the parental agreement for my 16 month old daughter. I gave him partial legal custody (only because he wouldn't agree in giving me full legal custody of course because she is a piece of property to him & who in their right mind would give up half of something they own right) then he was sort of giving me chump change in child support but only for about 4 months before that he wasn't paying anything. Now he has called me and outright said that he cant give me anything anymore. I am so tired of the bullshit and told him I want to change the custody agreement to give me full legal custody or he needs to start paying the child support we agreed upon. Well he told me oh well he didn't care he doesn't have it and i cant get out of him what he doesn't have. I am honestly thinking about taking him up on his offer and going ahead and taking him for child support. I know for a fact he has money and the only reason he isn't taking care of my daughter is because his girlfriend has convinced him that is acceptable not to. He actually told me when I asked him for money if ME & MY FAMILY cant take care of my daughter then i should move in with him and then he would support her (he is such an ass) my hesitation is the fact that i know what type of messed up conniving, trifling, lying SOB he is and I am worried about what he would do to my daughter to get back at me for taking him to court. Any advice ladies all my family  keeps telling me that I should make him pay his half but none of them have ever been in this situation before.

by on Dec. 23, 2013 at 5:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
grneyedormom
by Kendra on Dec. 23, 2013 at 5:50 AM
4 moms liked this
Just file for the court mandated support. Protect yourself with a court ordered support order. Child Support and parenting time are two separate issues. The parenting time and custody can always be re-visited through the court if need be.
happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Dec. 23, 2013 at 6:20 AM
Just go.file in court.

Since you already agreed to.joint custody, that likely won't change unless you can prove him unfit
SueSahara
by Member on Dec. 23, 2013 at 6:23 AM

My fear for filing for child support is what he might try to do to get back at me. I have come to realize he is extremely vindictive and childish. 

Quoting grneyedormom: Just file for the court mandated support. Protect yourself with a court ordered support order. Child Support and parenting time are two separate issues. The parenting time and custody can always be re-visited through the court if need be.


Morrigan333
by on Dec. 23, 2013 at 8:19 AM
2 moms liked this

Each state has a "formula" for determining what amount child support he has to pay, and is also based on if he has any other children to support(that live with her or not).  My ex has to pay $437/mo that is determined on the fact that he was 1 child from a previous mariage, and the "formula" that was determined when my dd was just 1 yr old(he left us when dd was just 8 mos old). DD  is now 13 and still gets the same amount no change. But he pays. In the begiining he did the usual things, quit his job to not have to pay. But, sadly the order was already in and I've taken him to court 6 times for non-compliabce. He KNOWS not to mess with me, because in the begiining I fought him each and every time even over the "petty" thhings". We now have decent communication, he sometimes talks on the phone with dd (but usually email) and he sends xmas gifts,b-day(but missed this b-day). 

 Just go down to the court and file for "non compliance" of the order. It may also be called  a "violation" of a court order. Either way he has to pay or be jailed. 

dawncs
by on Dec. 23, 2013 at 8:39 AM
2 moms liked this

Have you formally filed for child support with the courts. I would do so almost immediately. I recommend having it garnished from his check because he will play games with it. The state will also keep track of arrears. He will not realize it until after it happens that he had it good until he blew it with you regarding financially being there for her.

dawncs
by on Dec. 23, 2013 at 8:42 AM

 Does he realize that it is almost impossible to get custody without paying huge lawyer fees? It is an enormous cost in attorney fees. He really sounds like really cheap and hates to part with his money in any way that does not benefit his lifestyle. He could blow at least $25,000 or more with no guarantee of full custody. Many judges have seen men who will file for full custody when their ex files for child support. Your ex is not rare in the world trust me.

Quoting SueSahara:

My fear for filing for child support is what he might try to do to get back at me. I have come to realize he is extremely vindictive and childish. 

Quoting grneyedormom: Just file for the court mandated support. Protect yourself with a court ordered support order. Child Support and parenting time are two separate issues. The parenting time and custody can always be re-visited through the court if need be.
hnye77
by on Dec. 23, 2013 at 8:57 AM

 This

Quoting grneyedormom: Just file for the court mandated support. Protect yourself with a court ordered support order. Child Support and parenting time are two separate issues. The parenting time and custody can always be re-visited through the court if need be.

 

grneyedormom
by Kendra on Dec. 23, 2013 at 10:25 AM
1 mom liked this
As hard as it may be, you cannot allow him to control your future and your child's future with threats of what he *may or may not* do. That is also why you have a custody order that lays out very clearly who has physical and legal custody and what the exact parenting time for the other parent looks like. As well as a court ordered support garnishment. Many fathers (and mothers) are extremely vindictive and childish to the other parent. Especially when it comes to money!

Quoting SueSahara:

My fear for filing for child support is what he might try to do to get back at me. I have come to realize he is extremely vindictive and childish. 

Quoting grneyedormom: Just file for the court mandated support. Protect yourself with a court ordered support order. Child Support and parenting time are two separate issues. The parenting time and custody can always be re-visited through the court if need be.


grneyedormom
by Kendra on Dec. 23, 2013 at 10:29 AM
Use Google and look up your state child support calculator, almost every state has one, to get a general idea of what he should pay. It is typically based on the number of overnights each parent has and both of their incomes.
cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Dec. 23, 2013 at 10:42 AM
1 mom liked this
File for child support through the courts. With a court order he'll have to pay what they say or have his pay garnished. Custody and support are separate so if he wants custody he'll have to file. His argument about if you need financial help then he should have her won't work in court.
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