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Posted by on Dec. 26, 2013 at 11:12 PM
  • 9 Replies
Somestimes i dream of a different life .... i never thought id end up a single mom to my exes kid living at home w my parents. I dream of finding someone who loves me and now loves my fatherless son too. Ive only dated losers and thats all i ever seem to find. I know i should wait for the good ones but im also scared of dying alone or becoming that scary cat lady everyone avoids. I dont know how to find a good one because all ive ever done was settle. Now that im a mom. I refuse to settle. Does that mean ill never find love ? I always wanted the house and husband and yard full of kids. Now im homeless and a single mom to a two month old. It scares me to think of how many hours i need to work to support us. All those hrs i will b missing my kid grow. I never wanted to b a single mom. I never wanted this life that i have. I dont know how to make it better for my son. Sometimes i feel so hopeless. Like i can never make it right for the two of us. It seems so daughting. Like a mountain im trying to climb up barefoot. The one thing i want more than anything right now is a home for me and my son. I may never find mr right but if i could provide a good home for my son id be worth something. Maybe then i wouldnt be such a screw up that everyone thinks i am.
by on Dec. 26, 2013 at 11:12 PM
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by on Dec. 26, 2013 at 11:29 PM
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It means you are maturing. :) Part of it is being patient and not allowing your wants to be confused with needs. I am in your boat. I have dreams too. Take small steps to make that happen (the home).. as much as it is great to think a prince charming will solve problems.. it isn't reality. Until we experience time alone to really grow strong we have little to give a relationship.

I always thought I would be farther in life as far as externals go.. but the experiences I have been learning from have made me a better person inside which means I may better handle things on the external.


Sounds like a new beginning and the desires are good. You are right. Don't settle. If you're scared about becoming the cat lady.. get a dog. ;) lol! Just a funny...

I have come to a point where its not enough for me to just have someone for my own sake.. besides we don't own anyone. I have personally decided that truly investing in things that matter so I have more to give is more fulfilling. I know many who are "with" someone and are still very lonely.
by on Dec. 26, 2013 at 11:30 PM
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It sounds like you need to go talk to someone, like a counselor. I say that because you don't seem to think you're worth anything alone. 

You can't love someone else if you don't love yourself first.

Life isn't about finding your other half. It's about living each day to the fullest regardless of the hand you're dealt. 

You have to help yourself so you can make a life. I would love to be a stay at home mom, but it's not going to happen. I work 40 hours or more a week. That's life. That's what it takes to raise my daughter. I don't get any extra help except from her god parents. Once you get yourself where you need to be, emotionally and financially, then you should consider dating, but until then you need to talk to someone.

It could also be hormones since you just had your son.

by on Dec. 26, 2013 at 11:32 PM
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P.s - You are not a screwup. You. Are a person that is learning. Grow for your sake and if others see you this way, oh well. I have yet to meet anyone who hasn't made choices they are proud of. If you are growing and learning and becoming a better person then you are actually already successful. Having "things" and "people" isn't always evidence that someone is truly fulfilled. #my own vent

Hug to you!
by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 8:33 AM
Thank you both. It feels better getting it off my chest. Im not great w emotion so its hard to let off steam sometimes. Thank u for the support
by Gold Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 8:38 AM
I'm angry at life too right now.

I am fuming at the situation I allowed myself and my 2 boys be in!

All I can do is put one foot in front of the other and move.forward!

Yesterday, I purchased a new car which is both scary and great.

I am starting to.look.for apartments and move away from my SO.

I want to be happy. My children deserve a clean happy home!
by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:02 AM
Take some time for yourself and find who you are without another person. Don't settle you deserve the absolute best
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by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 1:31 PM

Quoting MomToNeeners:

You can't love someone else if you don't love yourself first.

I wholeheartedly agree with this. Focus on being the type of person you want to attract to yourself . . . once that does, it makes it way easier to weed out those who won't help you get to where you want to be. Many of us didn't imagine or want to be single moms, but we do what we have to do for ourselves and our kid(s).

by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 2:18 PM
I try to remind myself of that alot. I just feel like im floundering.
by Ruby Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 4:37 PM
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 honestly, dont look for "a daddy" for your kid. that will scare the good ones away.

take the time to heal your own self esteem. once you are on your feet... meaning NOT in a vulerable position... men who date women in vulenrable positions are highly suspect to me..... employed, on your own.... THEN date. date for you. to find a partner. the right guy for you will love your kid.

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