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Single Moms Single Moms

Am I supposed to be single forever?

Posted by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 10:24 PM
  • 13 Replies

I'm 34 years old and never been in a relationship longer than 2 years. My mom says since I'm so used to being on my own for so long I will never adjust to living with anyone. I'm starting to think she's right. I date a lot. I'm selective because of my son. I have my rules:  no meeting my child until 6 months, etc. But I just can't seem to let go of my alone time. I'm currently seeing my third boyfriend since my son. The second of whom has met my son. If this doesn't work, no more. I don't want my child seeing a revolving door of men. 

my son so desperately wants me married. Probably because his father is on his second marriage and introduces him to any woman who agrees to a second date. 

But it just never seems to last for me. Am I doomed?  Or shall I say just happy single?

by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 10:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LilShamrock
by Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 10:36 PM
2 moms liked this
I'd say you are being smart for being selective and having a set criteria because of your child. It's been over 5 years since my divorce and my attempts at dating haven't bode well....two attempted relationships where both couldn't take that my daughter was "nĂºmero uno!"and we parted ways...

I'm to the point now that I'm content with the life I have now. I'm learning to fill the voids of time...sure it gets lonely and I have my blue periods, but I think we all do!

The someone who comes into your life will have to be pretty darn special for you n your lil one! And in the time being, make no excuses for who you are and the fact that you enjoy your own company.

Sham
Oliviasmom72
by Bronze Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 11:00 PM
2 moms liked this

I think it is great you are selective. I am the same way. I did not get married until I was 34. I was single and not tied down to anyone until i met my ex husband at 30. Baby 32. Married 34. baby 36. divorced at 40. I did live with a guy when I was 25/26 and had a few boyfriends.

I sometimes wonder if I can keep a relationship. I have had a few short flings since my divorce but I always manage to screw it up. My kids have met nobody. My sister is 41 and has never been married, no kids, and is a total dating disaster. She has NEVER dated anyone longer than 6 months and she has not had a boyfriend in 10+ years. I think she is programmed to totally be alone. I do not know. It's kinda sad.

Jaghd810
by Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 11:29 PM
1 mom liked this

Thanks Ladies. I definitely think sometimes it's my fault. Obviously some guys are jerks in disguise. Thank goodness I'm able to spot them early. One of the perks of not being married. But the ones who could be good I run off. But don't realize it was me until later. I like doing what I want to do when I want to do it. I Leo everything for my son but when he goes to bed, I do what I want. Sometimes I wish I could break this mindset. I still dream of finding the one and having another kid. But at the same time, I know my age...

LuvMommysBabies
by Bronze Member on Dec. 28, 2013 at 1:22 PM
1 mom liked this
Its smart to be selective when bringing someone around your children.
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Dec. 28, 2013 at 2:19 PM

 agree

Quoting LuvMommysBabies: Its smart to be selective when bringing someone around your children.

 

ladybugmom2010
by Joy on Dec. 28, 2013 at 2:24 PM
2 moms liked this
I'm with you and it's great you are selective. It's hard for me to be in relationships as well. I am use to being alone.
zumbanerd
by Member on Dec. 28, 2013 at 2:44 PM

I think it's good to be selective, but then if you aren't meeting the guys that you want to have stay long term maybe you are purposely selecting (unconsciously) these men because you don't want to really give up being single. You are happy, why risk it if there is a chance that the man could infringe on your space and possibly make you unhappy? If you want to get marriage, really and truly, you'd find better men. You sound like an introvert who needs the alone time (I'm one, too). You could find yourself (if you want to that is) another introvert and if you both can find a way to have together time and alone time then it would work out.

What are your other rules besides can't meet your son until 6 months in?

hopealways4019
by Bronze Member on Dec. 28, 2013 at 4:31 PM
You faring better than me.. I havent had a boyfriend since 2008. When i was with my kids father . It wasnt a real relationship . Because he abused me, mentally, physically. I never experience a real relationship. I been looking on dating site. The guys messaging me weird. Telling me love me? Im talking to a guy from africa right now.. He moving aggressively.. He weird. I dont take this dating stuff serious anymore. If it happens? Fine.. If it dont ? Fine.. I will just be happily single.
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Dec. 29, 2013 at 12:43 AM
Someday you will find the right person be selective don't settle
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Oliviasmom72
by Bronze Member on Dec. 29, 2013 at 10:14 AM
1 mom liked this
Hope always, this guy in Africa is trying to scam you most likely. You should not be talking to anyone of out state. Use some common sense here. Online dating is full of scammers. If you are going to do online dating you need to be selective and stick to local guys. Please close your ad or stop talking to this guy and block him. I would hate to see u scammed.
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