• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Dealing with father that wants to be cool parent

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 1:26 AM
  • 13 Replies

Any suggestions on what to do about a Dad that does things to be cool and sneaks into movies, lets my daughter watch scary movies  (she's 11 and can't handle it), and plays the dirty version of a game.       My son is 15 years old and knew it was wrong, but my 50 year old ex husband wants to be cool.

I'm having a really tough time.        Any help ??

by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 1:26 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
dawncs
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 6:30 AM

I have found that from my personal experience as a child of divorce is that you can't control what the other parent does when they become a Disneyland parent or cool parent. She will realize that he is trying to win her affections and encourage her to live with her. It does not always work with all kids including your son.

cjsmom1
by Group Admin on Dec. 30, 2013 at 12:20 PM
I age with the pp. There isn't anything you can do to change how he parents at his house. When your kids are older they'll see through what he did.
tyfry7496
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 2:10 PM
Teach your kids to tell daddy dearest when they are uncomfortable with something he is encouraging.
amonkeymom
by Platinum Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 2:47 PM

Unfortunately this is true.

Quoting dawncs:

I have found that from my personal experience as a child of divorce is that you can't control what the other parent does when they become a Disneyland parent or cool parent. She will realize that he is trying to win her affections and encourage her to live with her. It does not always work with all kids including your son.


readyforhim
by Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 8:41 PM

eventually she will stop wanting to go on the visits...my ex is just like that and he's lost his charm on my kids...glad your son sees the truth...

Sj218
by on Dec. 30, 2013 at 8:49 PM
How long did it take? My exh puts on a good show. I'm just waiting for it to all fall apart. It's only been 16 months and my son is already starting to see through his crap.

Quoting readyforhim:

eventually she will stop wanting to go on the visits...my ex is just like that and he's lost his charm on my kids...glad your son sees the truth...

readyforhim
by Member on Dec. 30, 2013 at 11:47 PM

 it was 2 years when they had to go w dad, call dad, this superhero period, then the disappointments happened slowly that they withdrew to the point now he is an embarrassment to them. The more he promises, the less he will be able to keep it up.

 

the best advice I could give you is what I heard at the beginning, don't criticize their dad, let them form their own opinion.

 

  It will happen one day and your conscience will be clear....good luck to your family.

Quoting Sj218: How long did it take? My exh puts on a good show. I'm just waiting for it to all fall apart. It's only been 16 months and my son is already starting to see through his crap.

Quoting readyforhim:

eventually she will stop wanting to go on the visits...my ex is just like that and he's lost his charm on my kids...glad your son sees the truth...

 

bjane01
by on Dec. 31, 2013 at 8:19 AM
There is nothing you can do about that. Just focus on being a good parent and teaching good values. Your children have to figure it out in their own unfortunately.

My ex literally tried to turn my oldest daughter against me during our divorce. It was really hard for awhile. I struggled for a while but have learned to let go of what I cannot control. I focus on being a good mom and raising good kids. My ex makes me daughter feel responsible for his feelings. It's a guilt trip I know too well. In time she will see it. For now I am doing my best to be a good mom and to ignore his bad behavior. Life goes on.



LifeCafe42
by on Dec. 31, 2013 at 9:11 AM
Agreed they will figure it out

Quoting tyfry7496: Teach your kids to tell daddy dearest when they are uncomfortable with something he is encouraging.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
DDDaysh
by Silver Member on Dec. 31, 2013 at 12:41 PM

There's nothing you can do.  He is within his rights to parent in any (legal) manner he chooses.  It may be a moronic manner, but unless it is illegal, that's just the way things are. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)