My advice is to be strict with your own goals that will put you in a better situation so you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and also as there is always so much to do...set aside time here and there to spend quality time with your girl.Even if its only an hour. Read to her, sing to her, and talk with her...or other. The disconnected feeling will pass with time, I think its perfectly natural to feel a little bit of disconnect but stick with it and do your best and you will have a good relationship with her in the future. Its worth it!!!!
My oldest is 11 and I have a 9 yr old I feel like we have a good relationship, I feel like we are a team getting through it all together and so do they.You are lucky to have the help from your family, I think that alone will be a huge factor in your future success. Good luck to you!!!
Not every woman has that instant connection with their child. I think now with being a single mother it is harder to feel that connection all the time. It's no longer easy to be a stay at home mom, so we miss things our children do. Don't feel like a bad mom, you're not the only one who's felt like this. Just remember you love her and you're doing what you have to to make both of your lives good.
You're not a bad mom, not at all. You're a busy mom, with a lot going on and trying to care for a beautiful, but very dependant still, little girl.
Don't compare yourself to what you *think* others do/feel. You only see what's on the outside, or hear what they say but you don't know what's in their hearts.
Try to do things that will connect the two of you more... read together at bedtime, do things that make her giggle and laugh, have fun. Love her when she's crying and cheer her on when she's doing good.
i completely felt that way. Its so much work its hard to not focus on the next thing that has to get done in the day and enjoy the fun parts of parenting. I still view a lot of the early years as a dream.
Welcome! When you have a lot on your plate it can be stressful. Once your load starts to lighten your mood will too
Quoting amonkeymom:You're not a bad mom, not at all. You're a busy mom, with a lot going on and trying to care for a beautiful, but very dependant still, little girl.
Don't compare yourself to what you *think* others do/feel. You only see what's on the outside, or hear what they say but you don't know what's in their hearts.
Try to do things that will connect the two of you more... read together at bedtime, do things that make her giggle and laugh, have fun. Love her when she's crying and cheer her on when she's doing good.
It's not the same situation but I understand feeling so busy!
I think the best way to help yourself would be to set aside an amount of time each day to just freely play with your daughter. Force yourself even if you're busy, or you don't find playing fun. Overtime, you will develop a deeper bond if you actively ensure you have daily one on one time.
Good luck!
Quoting amonkeymom:You're not a bad mom, not at all. You're a busy mom, with a lot going on and trying to care for a beautiful, but very dependant still, little girl.
Don't compare yourself to what you *think* others do/feel. You only see what's on the outside, or hear what they say but you don't know what's in their hearts.
Try to do things that will connect the two of you more... read together at bedtime, do things that make her giggle and laugh, have fun. Love her when she's crying and cheer her on when she's doing good.
Yes this! I read this after I replied. The only thing Id add is making sure you take time daily to connect, even if you are super busy. 20 minutes a day of quality time, freely playing or something with no pressure where you can just enjoy your daughters presence and she can enjoy yours, will go a long way.
Not very many father figures in my sons life
- anedmondson
on Jan. 8, 2014 at 12:02 AM