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Forever Alone

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:05 AM
  • 17 Replies

Just a vent.

Yesterday my family had a small reunion. We ran out of something so I had to go to the store really quick, and my mom offered to watch my son. As I was going in what I thought was a couple was going out. I recognized the guy from highschool but didn't say anything. I guess he saw me out of the corner of his eye because he called out my name.

We used to have a friend in common. He was in the same photography class as me. We once went out to take pictures together and I swear it was the most fun I've ever had with anyone. But that friend in common had just set him up with someone, so I quickly blocked him from my mind. I honestly hadn't thought about him in years, and now that I saw him I remember why. There's instant chemistry there. At the risk of sounding like a naive, teenage, masturbates-to-vampires idiot, even the way he said my name told me there was something there. 

Oh, and the girl is a friend of his. They've been friends since they were little and I know there's nothing romantic there. She asked me what I'd been up to and I told her I had a son, and he was almost a year old. Even out of the corner of my eye I could see how drastically his face changed.

Ugh, I don't know why this is bothering me so much. I love my son, and I wouldn't change anything that could have prevented his birth, but it just feels like what little hopes I had of seriously dating someone are gone. 

by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:05 AM
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by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:55 AM
I feel the same Way, i started talking to my highschool sweetheart we still find each other attractive but he keeps his distance knowing im a Single mom. Its so annoying
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:51 AM
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how old are you hun?  If you're 23 or under (I'm just putting a guesstimate age) you could very well be the first person he's come across that he used to know that has a kiddo.  That right there is always something that surprises people b/c if we haven't seen someone in a while, we always picture them how we last saw them.  Once you get to a certain age (like 27) it's not as surprising for a woman to have at least one kiddo.  Granted, there are plenty of guys that still aren't interested in dating a single mom, but it's not as much of a shock, know what I mean?  Just because the look on his face changed, doesn't mean he still wouldn't be interested.

by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:57 AM
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I'm a newly single mom and I always feel I will be judged and guys will look over me . Then I realized that's not such a bad thing. I feel the one for me will be more then willing and mature and loving to take me and my LO. I come with a package . Me , my 9 month old and my little Yorkie and if someone who I am interests in can't understand that , then they obviously are not meant for us ! The right person will come when it's time. We are not doomed . Be optimistic :)
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 9:29 AM
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I wouldn't sweat it, though I get how you feel. He may have been surprised but your child is a part of your life now. Life moves forward. He should too if he is interested in you. I have good chemistry with someone and have for many years but he is in a different lifestyle and that's just life.

Your child will actually make you more beautiful to someone who see's that as a gift, not a burden. The world will always make us feel like having a child makes us "least desireable".. but not everyone feels that way.

I would just step back and let this "chemist" decide what's best for him. No offense but he had a chance.. He needs to man up if he is so into you.

I have had friends tell me someone is "into" me.. yet, this person never even talks to me. So.. not my issue. I like him, but let's face it.. I have a child and cannot sit and wonder and weed through "hints"...

I am in my 30's though so my fuse is a bit shorter and my ideas may be shaped differently by that..

Its fun to have those connections.. but our kids are a gift because they help us keep grounded. Romance is good, but without any action its just fantasy.

Parenting changes us. Let him think of his opportunities and act or not.. either way, someone else will see you as beautiful, mom and all. :)
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 9:33 AM
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I know that this sounds awful....but I live in a small area and its not been truely that uncommon for girls to get pregnant and have children young. Like right of highschool give or take a few yrs.

I know alot of guys around here that honestly doesnt care if you have a child.

I guess my point of this would have to be that if a guy really truely likes you and wants to go out with you badly enough, even though I'm sure the kid thing is plenty intimidating for them....then they would go out with you. So while things may seem discouraging at the moment dont give up or get yourself set in that old cat lady mentality already.

Did he ask if you were seeing anybody? He could have assumed that if you have a child then you have a husband/boyfriend and if he is into you like you think...its possible he was kinda upset over that and not the you having a child thing.
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 9:38 AM
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I find it a relief if people reject me for having a kid (yeah wow.. a small human being.. what a threat! Lol!) It spares me the energy of finding out later on. I would never take back having my son, I would take back time wasted on guys who distracted me from opportunities much better.

Let him go and go on and if he comes back.. good. But if not, then you know.
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:07 AM

Is there anyway that you can find out where this ex is?  You ran into him at this store keep going back.  If you see him try and get a conversation started.  From what I've read he seems to be interested in you but was with that girl.  So, perhaps he's been thinking of you, too.  Make a move the next time you see him.  If you fail or he doesn't seem to be interested you can at least put your mind to rest. 

by Jessica on Jan. 8, 2014 at 1:01 PM

 Maybe he made that face because he was assuming because you have a son, that you are married or in a relationship and was disapointed?

I am 24 years old with a 4 yr old DD, when I was newly single... I thought the same, that men wouldn't want to date me or that they would find someone easier without child, but I was proven wrong, don't give up hope but at the same time don't put all your energy into finding someone either because it will never happen, whatever is meant to be is meant to be :)

by Group Admin on Jan. 8, 2014 at 2:55 PM

There are guys out there that don't mind dating a single mom, just give it time to find one.

by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:31 PM

Well to be honest I t is a good thing bcus if he was a good guy..mature he wouldn't mind if you had a son or not. My godmother's fiance has 6 and she went with it. Your hopes are not gone maybe he will make a move maybe not.

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