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all my single ladies i need your help!

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:19 PM
  • 26 Replies

 soo, i seriously need some help on figuring this one out.  My bd and i have been ok with each other and really trying to work things out...we have had some obstacles along the way but we have pulled through.  well, my lease is coming up at the end of march and he has been saying that "WE" should find a better place and that "WE" should look for something close to a good school cuz dd will be starting this fall, and all this other "WE" this and "WE" that.  so i asked him if he had some other girl that i didnt know of or if i was misunderstanding what he was saying.  he said that what he meant by "WE" he meant US!! i was kind of floored by this...i didn't expect us to ever figure things out or actually work (I know that sounds horrible, but ykwim). well, things have been really good and he had picked up two extra jobs to start helping me out.  so the major kicker here was when he called me up this morning and was excited cuz he had put something on layaway, i automatically thought it was the tv i have been wanting lol. well, it wasn't...it was a ring set or whatever you call it.  i about died, and i didn't know what to tell him.  i mean, what do you say to something like that?  we have gone through hell and back and been there for each other and now this? 

don't get me wrong, im very excited at the fact that we might get married...but at the same time i feel like i should prepare myself for him to walk away the way he did the first time around when we were acutally engaged.  and about him wanting to move in...i feel the same way about that too? 

am i the problem here?

by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
arimaur
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 4:40 PM

 BUMP!

arimaur
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:04 PM

 BUMP

arimaur
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:13 PM

 BUMP

SwitchbladeMama
by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:42 PM
1 mom liked this

It's hard to know how to judge your situash because I guess I personally don't know the details of your history and w/e.

I guess I'm the type of person who does not re-visit relationships once they've ended unless it's a sexual fling, depending on the situash, so what you're dealing with I have 0 experience with, nor would I want to lol.

Here's a bump for ya though.



arimaur
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:44 PM

 haha, thanks

Quoting SwitchbladeMama:

It's hard to know how to judge your situash because I guess I personally don't know the details of your history and w/e.

I guess I'm the type of person who does not re-visit relationships once they've ended unless it's a sexual fling, depending on the situash, so what you're dealing with I have 0 experience with, nor would I want to lol.

Here's a bump for ya though.



 

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:12 PM

 If you are unsure of this maybe this is not for you.

Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 7:45 PM
I'd go for it! If he has proven himself over time, go for it! :). I'd be excited.
arimaur
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 9:17 PM
very true, but I'm never gonna know if I continue with excuses and being scared.

Quoting virginiamama71:

 If you are unsure of this maybe this is not for you.

arimaur
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 9:18 PM
1 mom liked this
thanks!

Quoting Ridingsolo: I'd go for it! If he has proven himself over time, go for it! :). I'd be excited.
bluedeaj
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 9:26 PM
2 moms liked this

my biggest piece of advice for you is... get into some counseling!  Get someone to talk with to help you two work through the past issues to be able to have the future together :)  It's very true that he walked away before, and I totally get being scared of that happening again.  So I suggest finding a third party to communicate this with so that you can learn the tools to work through all of that stuff <3  counseling doesn't always have to be because things have gone bad.  It's a great preventative tool :)

Good luck!  It sounds like he may have matured quite a bit since the last time things happened.  But it's also very easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of it all.  Which is why I suggest counseling :)  To help keep you grounded and level headed about the major decisions being made.

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