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Harsh comments when it comes to dating

Posted by on Jan. 12, 2014 at 11:32 AM
  • 24 Replies
Hi everyone,

So I'm 22 and a single mom of two boys the oddest is going to be three and the youngest is 3 months old. They have the same father but things just definitely didn't work out but anyways.. When I talk to people they always tell me how are you ever going to date, who's going to want a girl with two kids and etc. Some people say well your going to have to find guy with kids because no single guy that doesn't have kids will want to be with you o my the list can go on and on. I must say it makes me upsets when people make comments like that and then I get to thinking is what they are saying true? Do you guys agree or have you guys had any luck with dating? I mean I'm not trying to start dating anytime soon but with comments like those I just feel discouraged it makes me not even want to date =( any opinions or advice?
by on Jan. 12, 2014 at 11:32 AM
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by Mom on Jan. 12, 2014 at 11:37 AM
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  If someone is really that interested in you he will accept you with your children and everything else about you.

Ask those who talk too much how do blended families get started?

by Silver Member on Jan. 12, 2014 at 11:52 AM
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No one has ever said that too me. I have heard people, especially men, say this about women with more than one child. For a long time, I THOUGHT this about myself. I kept telling myself if be an exception IF I had my degree finished and an awesome career. Two of my friends have said that recently "If I date a woman with more than one child, she has to have her life together. Doing BIG things".

But that's THEIR opinion and not every man or woman shares that opinion with them. I had a co-worker that had 6 children and she recently got remarried. In fact she met her ex-husband when she already had 4 children and he had NONE himself. *I* dated man who said he would NEVER date a woman with children.

It's not the end of the world for you. There is a man who is willing to love you and eventually your children. When you start dating don't be discouraged. Mr. Right is out there.
by Bronze Member on Jan. 12, 2014 at 11:56 AM
5 moms liked this

I don't think it's the easiest thing to get seriously involved with someone your age when you have multiple children. Mainly because most single guys in their early 20s aren't ready for that kind of commitment or responsibility, even if they say they are.

Of course it also depends on your background, and what you have to bring to the table as far as physically/mentally, and the type of guys you're dating as well.

by on Jan. 12, 2014 at 2:01 PM
3 moms liked this

I can't believe that someone would say that to you. Who do they think they are? There are men out there who dislike those men who leave women behind with children. They are the ones who will approach you. Just build yourself up from here (education, hobbies, career). Don't think about that aspect of your life. It will happen for you and when it does, it will be AWESOME!

by Group Admin on Jan. 12, 2014 at 5:03 PM
2 moms liked this
That's not true. A lot of guys your age aren't ready for the responsibility of kids, but some are.
by on Jan. 12, 2014 at 8:09 PM
3 moms liked this
Hello bree8654,

My best advice is to work on you and whatever goals you have. Know who you are as a mother and as a woman. Do not allow yourself to be insecure about being single and a mom. Jerks can pick up on that and try to sell you a dream. Remember, you and your boys are the prize. The man that chose you to love, will also gain the love and respect of your boys. If someone doesn't soon come along, being mother is priceless, they need you most. One day at a time.
by on Jan. 12, 2014 at 11:35 PM
1 mom liked this
Its not true. I wouldn't worry about it. I think becoming a mom made me better. I still get asked out I just choose to say "no" now because my plate is full. If someone doesn't want you becauuse your a mom, be relieved! It saves the time finding out later on.. the hard way.

Never let others make you feel ashamed or unlovable. You will encounter people with different ideas and wants.. its not personal. Its just that people are at different places. You don't need some young jerk who just wants to hurt you.. being a mother is a doorway to becoming a woman.. never settle for the boys.. only real men need apply. :)
by on Jan. 12, 2014 at 11:39 PM
1 mom liked this
The 2 men I have dated since getting divorced have been guys with no kids. The first was never married, no kids, but he was crazy and I never had him meet my kids thankfully. This bf, was divorced but no kids, wants a family, and likes my kids and they like him. I was always upfront about having kids and if they weren't cool with kids, then didn't bother. Also, kids was a good way to weed out the ones who were looking for sex only.
by on Jan. 12, 2014 at 11:43 PM
4 moms liked this
You do realize you are allowed to set standards for yourself right? Whhy is it that often single mothers are made to have to be grateful for whatever comes along.. this is a great time to start realizing that you are an equal desirable person and start building yourself.

It should matter just as much that HE meets the standards as well. Remember that. :)

You have kids. Yes. So he needs to have something to bring as well. Don't settle because you are afraid you won't find someone. This person is ridiculous and has some ignorance.
by on Jan. 12, 2014 at 11:47 PM
1 mom liked this
Tell them to STFU, maybe a little nicer if they're family :). I hate when people have to put others down to feel good about themselves. It's not Like you have 5 or 10 kids, 2 is not that much. I'm sure you'll find the right guy at some point. Good luck.
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