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My ex is acting odd ... maybe he's just lonely?

Posted by on Jan. 17, 2014 at 2:53 PM
  • 10 Replies
1 mom liked this

First off, the reason why I divorced was because my ex is a very controlling, negetative person who is very self-centered. He's a hoarder so he wants things he can get today and hesistants to have any goals like home buying because all houses he thinks aren't worth the amount they are going for.

Anyways. He's out of the country at this time and has been for almost a month now. The last three days he's been calling me around 9 am to see about talking to our daughter. He knows she goes to school and it's not that tough to figure out what time it is here while he is in another time zone. I think it's an excuse to just talk to me, though I have no idea why.

He's also texting me and giving me compliments (that's surprising in and of itself as usually he will only give at best backhand compliments or your a good mom but this aspect you suck at. The compliments are sticking to how I am as a mom (now I'm a great mom ... what?!), but it's so strange! He's still ticked off that I divorced him and blames his job for our divorce. I don't really care what he believes to be true.

I wonder if this is another tactic he's taking to try to control me? I don't want anything to do with him outside of our necessary texts about our daughter.

by on Jan. 17, 2014 at 2:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Heath77
by on Jan. 17, 2014 at 7:06 PM

My ex sounds like that and my ex is always nice when he has something up his sleeve or he wants something. Today he came to pick me up to transfer car titles, ugh... but he needed a replacement one. I was off work since we are not busy and so it was a great time to get this done since i am only off on weekends and he had no title and could not get a replacement till he finds his or gets with the financing co. He was so nice too. He wanted something though. He can be mean until he wants something and then we get along so wonderful. I always think maybe i should get back with him when he is so nice, but then i see how he is when he needs nothing. When I tell people my ex is acting odd things usually change in a few weeks and he starts acting mean. I hope your ex is not like that.

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Jan. 17, 2014 at 10:40 PM
1 mom liked this

 If he was controlling in the marriage he will still be controlling after the marriage. Only you can decide if you still want to be controlled.

cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 2:44 AM
I wouldn't trust it. It sounds like he wants something
zumbanerd
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 10:18 AM

Over the weekend he said that he is looking to get a job in NJ while we live in MA. If he does get the job (which is most likely not ... but you never know ...), then I want more CS as I'm not getting the full amount at this time that the court expects him to pay at the very least. If he can't be there at all for her (which will upset our daughter) then at least he can pay the full CS.

I think he's trying to be nice because he has this wish of getting out of New England and he is trying to make sure that I don't ask for more from him?

He's definitely still controlling and it's frustrating to say the least about it.

DreamLoveBlooms
by Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 10:42 AM
1 mom liked this

He wants something...

mamalena137
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2014 at 2:34 PM

Considering he was controlling in your relationship, he's not going to let go of that control easily. It sounds like he just wants to make sure he's still in your thoughts.

Pooge
by Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 9:27 PM
Yep he up to something..once a butt always a butt..I mean people can change..but its rare.
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jan. 22, 2014 at 11:53 PM
I agree!!!

Quoting virginiamama71:

 If he was controlling in the marriage he will still be controlling after the marriage. Only you can decide if you still want to be controlled.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
zumbanerd
by Bronze Member on Jan. 23, 2014 at 2:23 PM

He runs hot and cold. Sometimes he's just really ticked off that I have a life other times he's calm. I never know which side is going to show. It's very frustrating. If he moves away it might be best for me.

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Jan. 23, 2014 at 7:04 PM
1 mom liked this

 People like that can be draining and are not pleasant to be around.

Quoting zumbanerd:

He runs hot and cold. Sometimes he's just really ticked off that I have a life other times he's calm. I never know which side is going to show. It's very frustrating. If he moves away it might be best for me.

 

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