So here is my story. 8 years ago i had just finished Chemo and Radiation for hodgkins lymphoma, i was working and trying to support my family. At the time the guy i am married to now was just my BF and we were living with his parents, well on this particular night i had to work and he got pissed off at me and said i dont want to spend the rest of my life with you, it cut me to the bone. Well i was so hurt and i know that is no excuse but i cheated on him that night (got pregnant) and he has raised my daughter as his own. My sister moved in with us back in August of 2013 and lived with us until Oct. 2013 From Sept til Dec my husband and I did not say two words to each other, he started going to the bar, meet some girl talked to her for a few days, so one sunday he was sleeping because he was hung over and i put a back up app on his phone that backed up all his txt messages to his email which i had acess to (yes i know it was wrong, but when i asked i got nothing) i found out that he was talking to a girl in a town 15 min away. He told her that he was leaving me after christmas. So i confronted him about it and he said that he was not talking to anyone. I did not tell him i was reading all the messages at this point. This was like the second week in december. he moved in with this girl and came home two days later crying the blues that he wanted to work things out this was Dec. 16 so i said ok. December 17 he started texting her apologizing for hurting her and bam they were talking again. December 20 was the first time they slept together and then again on the 22. i did not find out about all this til december 23. i sent her a message asking her to leave him alone and then that is when i got the message from her that they had been sleeping together. i was hoping we could work things out, he said he was never going to talk to her again, but december 26 she texted he answered and said he felt like he was pushed back to her. "I am not saying I wouldn't mind another chance" does that sound pushed? He told me the reason he went back the first time was he felt that i was not working hard enough on the marriage, you didnt even give me a chance. He asked me to go to therapy for cheathing on him 8 years ago, but he will not go. He moved out after christmas stayed with her a week and was like i want to come home and work things out. I think the only reason he wanted to come home was the fact that i was not hurting, i was happy, and i was ok. He is back home and he is still talking to her and i told him last night as long as you talk to her there is NO way we can work things out, and he was like well if things don't work out between us i dont want to be lonely. I have given him several chances to apologize to me, but nothing. Oh and to top things off last week she found out she was prego but miscarried. He has no clue what he is doing to me and when i say something he is just like well you cheated on me so i cheated on you out of spite. But how can he say that when i had a one night stand and he is still with this girl telling her he loves her, well he says he is not in love with her and just says it so she does not fuss at him. And he thinks because he txt LV U, that it is not the same as love you. I dont know ladies, i am becoming bitter, i have no emotions what so ever and he is mad at me cause i will not tell him I Love him. If i dont feel it i am not going to say it.. Please help i need advice andything is better than nothing..