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Invite to dd party or not? Update

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2014 at 8:54 PM
  • 16 Replies

My dd father is pretty much out of the picture. Been almost two years since he has seen her in person. Never calls never sends cards ect. I sent a Christmas card and I text here and there but I stopped making big efforts and we are doing ok. But last year I told him we weren't having a party because I didn't want him here. This year I just not going to mention it but my mother brought it up. I don't live in the same state and my dd never has but I have had birthday parties in the past 1-3 were at my grandmother's and he came to one of those. 

She remember him being at the party and she knows who he is. 

This year I am having a bowling party and possibly a separate family party. I wonder if I should invite him to that or not bother. Last birthday he showed up with a gift unwrapped . It was a book. I am not saying buy her anything extravagant but at least wrap it. But whatever, what do you all think? 

Update: I haven't heard from him yet, I did text him. It is in his court. It is plenty of time to make arrangements for that weekend. 

by on Jan. 25, 2014 at 8:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2014 at 9:26 PM
1 mom liked this
If he wants to come to the party, then he should contact you first. I would never be reaching out to him first at this point.
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Jan. 25, 2014 at 9:28 PM
1 mom liked this

 Too many children have parents in the prison system and wish they would show up with a gift wrapped or unwrapped or just could see the other parents face, hear their voice and even say to a friend --that's my father/mother.

libramoon007
by on Jan. 25, 2014 at 9:35 PM

He doesn't know there is a party. He would neve reach out to me that is why I asked the question. 

Quoting Ridingsolo: If he wants to come to the party, then he should contact you first. I would never be reaching out to him first at this point.


libramoon007
by on Jan. 25, 2014 at 9:37 PM

What? Ok I have no idea why you replied with that answer and it did not even answer the question. Actually it was kind of rude comment . I am surprised from this group.  Anyways, I asked if I should tell him and invite him not anything else. This is the single parent group right? 

Quoting virginiamama71:

 Too many children have parents in the prison system and wish they would show up with a gift wrapped or unwrapped or just could see the other parents face, hear their voice and even say to a friend --that's my father/mother.


Ridingsolo
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2014 at 9:39 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting libramoon007:

He doesn't know there is a party. He would neve reach out to me that is why I asked the question. 

Quoting Ridingsolo: If he wants to come to the party, then he should contact you first. I would never be reaching out to him first at this point.



He knows her birthday is coming up though, right? If he is an adult he can figure out there might be a party.

And the fact that he will not reach out first says enough. If he truly wants any sort of relationship with your DD, then it is on him at this point.

If he doesn't reach out, then he doesn't care enough.

I don't mean to sound harsh, just succinct. Tired and typing this on my phone.
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Jan. 25, 2014 at 9:41 PM
1 mom liked this

 Do what you feel is best for your daughter.

He may know when her birthday is but not know when the party is, but will not know if you do not contact him.

Quoting libramoon007:

What? Ok I have no idea why you replied with that answer and it did not even answer the question. Actually it was kind of rude comment . I am surprised from this group.  Anyways, I asked if I should tell him and invite him not anything else. This is the single parent group right? 

Quoting virginiamama71:

 Too many children have parents in the prison system and wish they would show up with a gift wrapped or unwrapped or just could see the other parents face, hear their voice and even say to a friend --that's my father/mother.

 

 

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jan. 25, 2014 at 10:08 PM
If he reaches out or if your daughter asks you to
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Pooge
by on Jan. 25, 2014 at 10:31 PM
1 mom liked this
If your child asks for you to invite him..I would...but it dont sound like to me he is very interested...he should know you are going to do something if he dont reach out dont worry...
cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Jan. 25, 2014 at 10:36 PM
If your dd has been asking for it then I would invite him.
superdivamom727
by Bronze Member on Jan. 25, 2014 at 11:48 PM
1 mom liked this
You may not feel comfortable with him being there which is understandable !!! However and most importantly its best to ask your daughter since she knows her dad ( even though he doesn't come around often).... the best gift to her is to see both parents in the same room acting civilly. ... and im sure the gift you talk about has ment a lot to her even if it was just a book... her dad gave that book..

If I was you I would run the idea of her dad being there to her... get her opinion .. and whatever she wants you should do !!! .... it would have been a different story if she didn't know her dad ....
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