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Posted by on Jan. 26, 2014 at 10:39 PM
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Hello guys,So I have two kids they go to their dada house on the weekends he has no clothes for them and its always and argument abt the clothes, I dnt feel like I should have to provide clothes for both houses. What do yall think.
by on Jan. 26, 2014 at 10:39 PM
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cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Jan. 26, 2014 at 10:44 PM
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He is supposed to provide the kids with everything they need for his house. If it's a big issue go back to court and ask for his visitation to get reduced.

If it were me I would send a couple cheap outfits to stay there so I know my kids have clothes. Yes he should provide basic necessities for his house, but I'd rather do knowing my kids have then worry about them doing without.

woodstock525
by on Jan. 26, 2014 at 10:54 PM
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Ahhh...the clothing wars.  Having been down this rough road from both sides (custodial mom, non-custodial step mom), it is best when you put the best interests of the child(ren) at the forefront rather than playing gotcha and seeing how much more you can get the other parent to spend just because you think you can.  The only people being hurt by this is the kids after all.  Is it really worth it to you to inflict this on them?  

When my kids were little, I had primary custody.  The ex's paid child support and that plus my contribution toward the kid's support is what I used to purchase their clothes.  I always sent them to their dad's with clothes.  They went EOW and therefore as fast as they would go through clothes, I never felt it was necessary or appropriate to have the ex keep a separate wardrobe for his 4+ days a month especially as fast as kids outgrow stuff and the weather changes.  

Honestly, you can go to court and make a big deal out of this, but if you are going to require the ex to provide a separate wardrobe at his place for the 4+ days a month he has the kids, then he should get a child support credit and reduction in the amount of support he is COd to pay or have 50/50 residential custody.  I would recommend being the bigger person and a good parent and sending your kids with the clothes you would definitely send with them if they were spending the weekend with their grandma or with a friend.  It's no different except for the fact that it's the ex and therefore you want to treat them like the enemy and poke them every chance you get.

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Jan. 26, 2014 at 11:35 PM
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 My son does not stay the weekend at his father's place nor does he live there. So when he goes for a over night visit he takes a backpack of clothes. For sleeping and the next day. His father always sends back the clothes he wore there and the ones he slept in washed.

Chelsea_rh
by on Jan. 26, 2014 at 11:54 PM
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I send clothes with dd. A couple simple outfits.that she can run around and get dirty in.
Monsita
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2014 at 10:42 AM
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It is a silly game.....I did not play!

I send clothes with my kids.
They pick their favorites and now, they take them and bring them back!

My ex, on the other hand, he tells kids, "the clothes that I buy, stays here"
mamalena137
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2014 at 10:59 AM
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That's something you both need to figure out, "is it worth the fight?" My son stays with my ex on weekends and he has his own clothes and toys there. If something from the other house gets sent by mistake, I wash it and return it and vice versa.

colts14
by on Jan. 27, 2014 at 11:02 AM
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When I left my ex, I gave him all the clothes and toys his family had given us so he had clothes and toys at his apartment. Since he had (no longer has-long story ) overnights, I would pack up her diaper bag with everything she would need since she was 8 1/2 months old when I left him. Now, 6 1/2 years post divorce, my ex no longer has overnights, but I send a small bag with sneakers during the winter so she doesn't have to wear her boots the whole time she's visiting my ex.
Callaly
by Jessica on Jan. 27, 2014 at 3:36 PM
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 I found that it was a lot easier if I provided a weekend bag for DD for her dads house. atleast I know the clothes she will be wearing are clean and they fit her correctly. I even tell him to send them back unwashed so that I know I will get everything back.

I find dealing with her dad is easiest when I pick my battles, clothing is something that she has at my house, so its not a huge issue for us to send her weekend clothes.

DreamLoveBlooms
by Member on Jan. 27, 2014 at 3:39 PM

Send 2 outfits, if one doesn't return then only send one outfit the next weekend. It shouldn't be an argument he needs to provide for them too. If he tries to argue, walk away or hang up...end of argument.

FreedomTruth
by Member on Jan. 27, 2014 at 6:59 PM
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He is supposed to provide everything at his own house unless stated otherwise in the court order.

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