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Posted by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 9:24 PM
  • 7 Replies

Ladies - I am a "newly" single mom and I am hurting SO SO SO bad and I am looking for some experience. I have been married less than a year and have a 9 month old and well, we are divorcing (my choice) because ther relationship is so toxic. I am still distraught though. I feel my guts are being ripped out because we had a "family" together and now that is so much different. I am living with my parents and the baby when she is here. I know he is going to go for 50/50 physical custody fiercely and I am afraid of that. The baby is still considered an infant and with his schedule it would make 50/50 mean 2 days with me, 2 days with him, 2 days with him....etc...I think that is crazy. He hasn't been served the papers yet but will be this week and I am so scared of his reaction (he's got to know its coming), I am in so much pain over the ending of what I had hoped would be a good relationship and future, the thought of not seeing my daughter every day and what that will mean for her. I feel SO displaced because 90% of my stuff is still there, I am liivng in a new town and in a room at my parents home. I have a new business and can't afford to move anywhere yet with the divorce especially....

I am hurting sooooooooooooo much and wonder how all of you (that were married or ended a serious relationship) have dealt with this. Does the pain stop? Do you ever fully heal? He was such a verbally and emotionall abusive type of person so I am worried he did some damage and I can never trust again and will be of course super cautious because I have my daughter. How do you deal with not seeing your child(ren) every day? I grieve when she isn't with me - its sooooo painful. She is my everything. I can't stop crying. So sad and angry it is this way.

by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 9:24 PM
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by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 9:28 PM
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You will have to take one day at a time. I am still married but document everything he does and says so when you go to court you have all that you need incase it gets ugly. It will be okay. Breathe. You are very brave for having ended the relationship because so many women dont-so you are stronger than you think.
by on Feb. 21, 2014 at 10:37 PM

My daughter went through this. It was about the same as your situation. If you can, fight the 50/50 custody. Your daughter needs more stability than that. Changing every 2 days would be crazy and stressful for her AND you. Do you really want to have to deal with him every 2 days?? Do you have an attorney? What does he say about it?

by Group Admin on Feb. 21, 2014 at 10:47 PM

Make sure you get a lawyer. As a pp suggested document everything every phone call, text, visit, etc becuase documentation can always help.

In time it gets a little easier to handle. No one wants to see their marriage end and at first the feelings are still strong. Over time you'll see things in hindsight and know you made the right decision.

by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 9:39 PM
She's just a baby no way he's getting that much time. Tell the judge you are breast feeding and you plan to breastfeed until she is 2!! He can't take her away and you can pump because it's too painful !! It does get better . My situation is new and it's almost over with the whole court stuff . A few more months , but I'm just visualizing and planing my future for me and dd. she will be 1 next month . I know it will all work out just get through the hard part
by on Feb. 22, 2014 at 10:49 PM
It will get easier in time. Take it minute by minute hour by hour. This is how I get through my days and weeks seems to help.
by Lube Girl on Feb. 23, 2014 at 12:32 AM
*hugs* time should make things look different.
by on Feb. 23, 2014 at 7:40 PM
Take each day as it comes
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