Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

Too Harsh??

Posted by on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:30 AM
  • 30 Replies
My son's attitude has been getting progressively worse. He has been throwing fits if he doesn't get what he wants and is ridiculously bossy.

He gets time outs and also doesn't get his way when he acts like this.

It's been getting worse over January and February. So i told him he cannot play his Wii until April. His daycare has a wii they play on "wii Wednesday" this morning he said with attitude "i can still play wii because they have on at my school." So i told his teachers to not allow him to participate until April.

I called his dad, who also sees this behavior and told him no not allow him to play mindcraft at his house until we see his behavior approve.

His dad agrees that the consistency in the punishment may help but says that a month is too long for a five year old and we should shorten it to two weeks.
I told him maybe if the behavior improves we can think about it.

Do you think that's too harsh? Because I don't we already don't play video games during the school week.
by on Feb. 26, 2014 at 9:30 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:04 AM
2 moms liked this

 I would go with 2 weeks also and see how his behavior improves. After 2 weeks if he has improved I would still lessen his time until a month to see more positive changes

Miss_Magnolia.
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:11 AM
The original punishment is about a month.
I'm confused if you would or would not lessen the punishment.

If he learns his lesson I could see letting him have it back early to reward good behavior.


Quoting virginiamama71:

 I would go with 2 weeks also and see how his behavior improves. After 2 weeks if he has improved I would still lessen his time until a month to see more positive changes

mytrueloveS
by on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:11 AM
1 mom liked this
I would do two weeks, if it doesn't improve then add another two weeks.
Miss_Magnolia.
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:14 AM
Why? Is it his age?

Quoting mytrueloveS: I would do two weeks, if it doesn't improve then add another two weeks.
mytrueloveS
by on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:18 AM
You didn't say his age, but my son is 6. Two weeks tops usually works for him.

Quoting Miss_Magnolia.: Why? Is it his age?

Quoting mytrueloveS: I would do two weeks, if it doesn't improve then add another two weeks.
Miss_Magnolia.
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 10:20 AM
I did. He's 5.

Thanks. I think if behavior improves I'll give it back in two weeks. He's never really had a punishment longer than a time out but i think it's time to step it up for us.



Quoting mytrueloveS: You didn't say his age, but my son is 6. Two weeks tops usually works for him.

Quoting Miss_Magnolia.: Why? Is it his age?

Quoting mytrueloveS: I would do two weeks, if it doesn't improve then add another two weeks.
krisnkids
by Gold Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 11:36 AM
4 moms liked this

There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. A 5 year old doesn't even know how many days there are until next month for the more March. Punishments need to be quickly given and must be appropriate in time and in consequence. Throwing a fit and not playing WII for 2 months is not even close. Throw a fit; get a warning to stop or go to time out. If he doesn't stop then he goes to time out for 5 minutes. Get out of time out before 5 minutes is up, the 5 minutes start again. Throw a WII controller, the WII is taken away for the day. Don't eat your dinner? No dessert. Don't go to bed when told, go to bed earlier the next day. etc.

Also, if you give a punishment do not shorten it because of "good" behavior. That is why you don't punish a younger child for a month. If they behave bad on Monday, Monday is when the punishment is. Tuesday is a whole new day.

Miss_Magnolia.
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 11:54 AM
And when all this doesn't work.

Then what?

I've done time outs and they aren't working for him. And it's not a fit.. It's constant fits. I need to try something that will work for him since all children are not the same.

My five year old know how many days are left in February and then how long march is. He'll be 6 at the beginning of June.


Quoting krisnkids:

There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. A 5 year old doesn't even know how many days there are until next month for the more March. Punishments need to be quickly given and must be appropriate in time and in consequence. Throwing a fit and not playing WII for 2 months is not even close. Throw a fit; get a warning to stop or go to time out. If he doesn't stop then he goes to time out for 5 minutes. Get out of time out before 5 minutes is up, the 5 minutes start again. Throw a WII controller, the WII is taken away for the day. Don't eat your dinner? No dessert. Don't go to bed when told, go to bed earlier the next day. etc.

Also, if you give a punishment do not shorten it because of "good" behavior. That is why you don't punish a younger child for a month. If they behave bad on Monday, Monday is when the punishment is. Tuesday is a whole new day.

Miss_Magnolia.
by Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 11:56 AM
You said:

"Don't go to bed when told, go to bed
earlier the next day."

And also

"If they behave bad on
Monday, Monday is when the
punishment is. Tuesday is a whole new
day."


Which is it? These two statements contradict each other?


Quoting krisnkids:

There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. A 5 year old doesn't even know how many days there are until next month for the more March. Punishments need to be quickly given and must be appropriate in time and in consequence. Throwing a fit and not playing WII for 2 months is not even close. Throw a fit; get a warning to stop or go to time out. If he doesn't stop then he goes to time out for 5 minutes. Get out of time out before 5 minutes is up, the 5 minutes start again. Throw a WII controller, the WII is taken away for the day. Don't eat your dinner? No dessert. Don't go to bed when told, go to bed earlier the next day. etc.

Also, if you give a punishment do not shorten it because of "good" behavior. That is why you don't punish a younger child for a month. If they behave bad on Monday, Monday is when the punishment is. Tuesday is a whole new day.

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Feb. 26, 2014 at 12:08 PM
1 mom liked this

Sleep routines is the only thing I would carry over from one day to another because that is the only thing that ever worked with my 4 kids. Still punishing a 5 almost 6 year old child with no WII for a month is ridiculous. There is no end in sight and like you said in another post, you are thinking about cutting it down to two weeks. You do that and you go back on what you said. Kid 1 Mom 0. Never ever make a punishment that you have no intention of keeping, do not have the ability to keep or do not plan on following through on.

If he throws a fit, warning; if he doesn't stop then time out. Out for 5 minutes and throws another fit; warning; if he doesn't stop put him back in time out. When he spends the majority of the day in time out he will start to get it.

Is he behaving like this at school?

Quoting Miss_Magnolia.: And when all this doesn't work. Then what? I've done time outs and they aren't working for him. And it's not a fit.. It's constant fits. I need to try something that will work for him since all children are not the same. My five year old know how many days are left in February and then how long march is. He'll be 6 at the beginning of June.
Quoting krisnkids:

There has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. A 5 year old doesn't even know how many days there are until next month for the more March. Punishments need to be quickly given and must be appropriate in time and in consequence. Throwing a fit and not playing WII for 2 months is not even close. Throw a fit; get a warning to stop or go to time out. If he doesn't stop then he goes to time out for 5 minutes. Get out of time out before 5 minutes is up, the 5 minutes start again. Throw a WII controller, the WII is taken away for the day. Don't eat your dinner? No dessert. Don't go to bed when told, go to bed earlier the next day. etc.

Also, if you give a punishment do not shorten it because of "good" behavior. That is why you don't punish a younger child for a month. If they behave bad on Monday, Monday is when the punishment is. Tuesday is a whole new day.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN