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Potentially scary situation...

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 3:18 PM
  • 11 Replies

I am almost 27 years old. Divorced with a 15 month old. Sharing custody with ex-husband, who is consistent with CS and visitation (although in his personal life is incredibly immature and has anger issues).

I work two jobs (both part-time...20 hrs each....both paying good money per hour). I have health insurance, my own place, and pay all my own bills.  I have been casually dating (I do not want to go anywhere near a serious relationship right now).

Here's the scary thing: I could possibly be pregnant. I have taken two negative tests, but missing AF. This was from a one-time thing during which we used protection 75% of the time.

I would not be worried about dealing with the father or how to pay bills or anything.  I have experience dealing with the worst XDH this one would def not be as bad as him.  I have room for another in my home, so I wouldn't have to move or anything.  I have childcare.

The thing I'm worried about is society.  Before, I got divorced, so my child was born within marriage.  I am worried about what society thinks of mothers having children outside of wedlock.  Church people and friends of my parents would all know I'm doing naughty

So, any unwed moms out there can give me advice about how you deal with societal perceptions?

by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 3:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Lube Girl on Mar. 8, 2014 at 3:27 PM
2 moms liked this

I hit a point that I don't care what people think. It is my life, and I live it the best way for myself and my children. It has saved me a lot of stress.

by Platinum Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 3:42 PM
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I'm with ColleenF30, I don't let what others think bother me.  I had my first child when I was 18 and was pregnant my entire senior year of high school so I've learned to have a thick skin.

Honestly though, in this day and age, I don't think most people really care that you're a single unwed mother as long as your a good person.  And, those who judge you badly for it usually aren't worth the time.

by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 3:55 PM
I am a pretty free-spirit. So I don't usually care what people think of me. I just hope my parents don't get any flack from their church friends because of me.
by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 7:52 PM
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In my experience it's the uber religious and pious married folk who make the biggest deal out of it. As far as I'm concerned, they can file their complaint and move along.
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by Murdoc's Mistress on Mar. 8, 2014 at 8:43 PM

Why are you so worried about it?  Who really cares?

You're an adult and you're having an adult relationship with someone else.  Shit happens.  You now possibly have another.  Nothing wrong about it.  Why even worry about what others will think about you?

by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 9:45 PM
Being an unwed mother is becoming more commonplace now. I've rarely felt judged because Im an unwed mom and when I have, I've just chalked it up to their age (it's always been someone over 65) and that old habits die hard.
by Carrie on Mar. 8, 2014 at 9:54 PM

 People are going to talk whether a woman is married or not.

by Group Admin on Mar. 9, 2014 at 12:28 AM
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People will always find something to talk and gossip about. Not being married and having a baby isn't as big of a deal as it used to be and many people don't care.

I had ds when I was 17 and have heard some interesting things. Most people were shocked when they found out his dad and I were still together and had been in a relationship before I got pregnant. Many people assume teen moms got pregnant by someone they barely know and the dad is never around.

by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 11:55 AM

Why do you care what other people think? I'm a single mother and I couldn't care less!

by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 12:18 PM
2 moms liked this

No one is perfect and we all (even church folk) have skeletons in our closets. So live your life the way that you want to and stop worrying about what others will say about you having a baby out of wedlock.   

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