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help needed! i'm new and in desperate need of help!

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 1:08 AM
  • 9 Replies

blow-up fight with my daughter's father, also my live-in boyfriend of three years, led to him asking for space. its been three weeks and in the first two, we were hopeful and cordial. we haven't spoken in the last three days and i need advice on redirecting negative thoughts and anger stemming from his lack of responsibility and not giving a shit...

by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 1:08 AM
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Replies (1-9):
mummyoftwins92
by Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 4:51 AM
Does your boyfriend want to make the "having space" become more permenant?

Quoting kchillemihall:

blow-up fight with my daughter's father, also my live-in boyfriend of three years, led to him asking for space. its been three weeks and in the first two, we were hopeful and cordial. we haven't spoken in the last three days and i need advice on redirecting negative thoughts and anger stemming from his lack of responsibility and not giving a shit...

krisnkids
by Gold Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:10 AM

Is he an irresponsible person who could care less? Then your anger should stay with him, he has a child to support. If he's not willing to do so and be part of your lives then don't try to redirect the anger anywhere.

true10ve
by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:52 AM
If you find the magic cure, let me know because I could use it ;-) right now I just fill my time with fun stiff with my kids, then we both benefit. I also vent to pretty much anyone who will listen, It's shocking my friends all still speak to me ;-) I take it as a sign that he is as much of an asshole as I think he is. It helps that when I vent I make it as humorous as possible, it's fun to make jokes at his expense, plus it lightens my mood too.
Callaly
by Jessica on Mar. 28, 2014 at 9:38 AM

 I have had issues like this in the past, dealing with ex and SO... SO is very protective of me and knows that I can be sensative and sometimes cannot handle the way ex talks to me so it effects him.

Give your BF some space, but still make an effort. Try not to get so upset with your ex and just pick your battles (it will make life alot easier)

LilMamaK
by Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 10:37 AM

 Have you sat down with you BF and talked about what's next for you two? I'm sorry hun! ::HUGS::

 Mommy to a beautiful daughter (7.5.08), Stepmom to an amazing son(6.5.07), and Angel baby boy(3.6.10)

Moxiesbuddy
by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 12:30 PM

This sounds very stressful, kchill, and I apologize for needing clarification. Is your anger directed toward your daughter's dad and his lack of responsibility? Or, are you frustrated that your boyfriend is sort of backing away from you?  It sounds like the first scenario led to the second and you don't know where you stand.  Both are very confusing and painful and I'm sorry you're struggling with negative emotions. It helps me to get some vigorous exercise (kick-boxing?) and vent with a good friend. Choose someone who will remind you of what a good mom you are. I hope things work out for you soon. <<Hugs>>

cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 10:10 PM

Have you guys discussed what you both want to happen?

kchillemihall
by on Mar. 29, 2014 at 1:12 AM
1 mom liked this

he is coming over this weekend to babysit, i will be going out of town for the night. asked him to stay on Sunday so we could talk and he agreed. going to take the advice and just put it all on the table. that way, i will have a concrete answer of where he thinks this relationship is going...and yes, of course, there is anger because he is pulling away from me, but my main concern really is him not contacting me to ask about our daughter. at work for 4-6 hours every night and i blow up my moms phone asking for pics and updates. he doesn't see her for over a week and makes no contact with me to see how she is doing?! it breaks my heart...thank you to everyone who responded, you really did make me feel better (and ask myself the right questions!) 

mommaJewels2011
by Bronze Member on Mar. 29, 2014 at 2:21 AM
1 mom liked this
I know there's a stigma about this but I firmly believe in counseling. If you both agreed to just 4 sessions over 1 month I really do believe it could do a world of help :-)
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