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"I miss Daddy!!!"

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 3:33 PM
  • 17 Replies

Ugh, this flippin sucks.  My ex and i got divorced before my girls were one year old.  They have never known mom and dad to be together.  Its always been that they go to his house every other weekend and thats that.  They are 3 years old now.

Lately they have started the "I miss daddy" thing.  At first it was just right after he would drop them off, but now its everyday.  And i dont say anything to provoke them either.  They will just come up out of the blue and say it.  Sometimes they will cry and it makes me really sad.  

So i texted my ex and told him what was going on.  I told him he should try and carve out extra time for them besides the EOW thing and call them regularly (they are just starting to like talking on the phone).  He has been really bad about only doing the bare minimum for my girls and he spends all his free time with his gf and their kid.  So i asked if he could maybe just come over one afternoon a week extra and take them to the park behind my house or something.  He ignored that and just told me he would start calling them more.  He called once this week and they had fun talking to him but as soon as the call was over, Ava went to the couch and just bawled about missing him.  It made me cry for her.  They are at his house this weekend.  

Im not looking for advice or anything.  I know its all on him to make the time for them.  It just SUCKS to see them so sad about it already at 3 years old. 

by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 3:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LaRozaRoma
by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 4:40 PM

I haven't experienced this yet, as my daughter is due in 6 weeks but I do worry about it. Her father really hasn't been around much and he says he wans to see her everyday but he can't even manage to do little things now (like discuss a schedule for him seeing her) so my thought is I doubt he'll be driving an hour every evening after work to see her. I know this won't help either of our kids from missing dad, but I take some comfort in the fact that I know I'm trying to be the best mom for her and someday if he does pull his head out of his butt he's going to have to answer to her as to why he wasn't around. 

Stephd710
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 4:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Yes exactly!!  Someday the dads WILL have to explain to their kids why they werent around.  But when they are little and dont understand and all they know is they are sad....its heartbreaking.  

Quoting LaRozaRoma:

I haven't experienced this yet, as my daughter is due in 6 weeks but I do worry about it. Her father really hasn't been around much and he says he wans to see her everyday but he can't even manage to do little things now (like discuss a schedule for him seeing her) so my thought is I doubt he'll be driving an hour every evening after work to see her. I know this won't help either of our kids from missing dad, but I take some comfort in the fact that I know I'm trying to be the best mom for her and someday if he does pull his head out of his butt he's going to have to answer to her as to why he wasn't around. 


LaRozaRoma
by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 4:48 PM

I honestly already feel sad for my daughter. She's not even here and I know that he will hurt her and as a mom I want to keep all the pain from her, no matter who it's from. It's hard bcuz I feel like I can't trust him bcuz he's so hot and cold. To him, I'm the mean one and I feel like that's all she's gonna hear from both him and his family when she goes over there. I also don't know hardly any of his family and none of them very well. Makes me nervous that he would have one of them watch her and not tell me. I can't trust that he's gonna do what he says he will and yet I'm mean when I make choices without him. What other choice do I have? I'd literally be homeless right now had I waited for him to decide if we were going to live together. It's like he doesn't even see how ridiculous he's being

Stephd710
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 4:57 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldnt worry about what they tell her about you.  Kids are smarter than we think and they know the truth no matter what lies other people tell them.  

Quoting LaRozaRoma:

I honestly already feel sad for my daughter. She's not even here and I know that he will hurt her and as a mom I want to keep all the pain from her, no matter who it's from. It's hard bcuz I feel like I can't trust him bcuz he's so hot and cold. To him, I'm the mean one and I feel like that's all she's gonna hear from both him and his family when she goes over there. I also don't know hardly any of his family and none of them very well. Makes me nervous that he would have one of them watch her and not tell me. I can't trust that he's gonna do what he says he will and yet I'm mean when I make choices without him. What other choice do I have? I'd literally be homeless right now had I waited for him to decide if we were going to live together. It's like he doesn't even see how ridiculous he's being


KREX0914
by on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:04 PM

My 4 year old started doing this recently. I have to keep telling her "We will see Daddy soon." Sometimes, when she asks, I call him instead of waiting for him to call. Mostly, though, I try to distract her with something else. Like you said, there is nothing you can do to fix it and unfortunately us mommys have to deal with it. It is so sad.

rachel216
by Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 8:09 PM
Its very hard when this happens! !! I totally understand what your going threw my daughter use to.do.the.same thing so when dd did that i.would just say ok lets call him and see if you can.go.over for a few hrs then come back home. That worked but 90%of the time he never answered the phone. Good luck hopefully he starts spending more time with them
cjsmom1
by Gold Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 9:33 PM

It's always hard to see our kids upset. What if you get a calender and write down the days they visit their dad and let them cross off as each day goes by. That way they can visually see how much longer they need to wait

Stephd710
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 10:32 PM
I thought about just calling him but I want him to think to call on his own. But I'm aware that he probably won't. I was kinda hoping this wouldn't happen since we split before they knew. Ugh.

Quoting KREX0914:

My 4 year old started doing this recently. I have to keep telling her "We will see Daddy soon." Sometimes, when she asks, I call him instead of waiting for him to call. Mostly, though, I try to distract her with something else. Like you said, there is nothing you can do to fix it and unfortunately us mommys have to deal with it. It is so sad.

Stephd710
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 10:33 PM
Thanks. I hope he pulls his head out of his butt for them. It is probably wishful thinking.

Quoting rachel216: Its very hard when this happens! !! I totally understand what your going threw my daughter use to.do.the.same thing so when dd did that i.would just say ok lets call him and see if you can.go.over for a few hrs then come back home. That worked but 90%of the time he never answered the phone. Good luck hopefully he starts spending more time with them
Stephd710
by Silver Member on Mar. 28, 2014 at 10:34 PM
1 mom liked this
That's a good idea! I will have to try that. Thanks!

Quoting cjsmom1:

It's always hard to see our kids upset. What if you get a calender and write down the days they visit their dad and let them cross off as each day goes by. That way they can visually see how much longer they need to wait

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