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how often do I allow contact

Posted by on Mar. 29, 2014 at 7:28 PM
  • 14 Replies
Split up with my baby's dad yesterday. I'm guessing that I will have to let him see them but how often and for how long? I have no idea about any of this.
He hasn't met his son who was born this morning and the most he has done for my twin 2 year old daughters is feed them a handful of times. He always refused to change thier nappies, get them dressed, bath them or anything else so I don't know if I want him to have my children alone for long as obvs our newborn is in nappies and the girls are still potty training and I know he won't change them and if the girls have a accident he will get mad at them. What do I do?
by on Mar. 29, 2014 at 7:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Flylady14
by Member on Mar. 29, 2014 at 8:59 PM

You don't need to let him see him on a set schedule or alone. Are you in the states? I would contact a lawyer. We're you married? Unless there is a court order you have all say. 

virginiamama71
by Carrie on Mar. 29, 2014 at 10:32 PM

  It was just yesterday he last saw them. If he is not a danger to the children, let him see his children when he wants to see them.

youngmomma863
by on Mar. 29, 2014 at 10:41 PM
No he did not see them yesterday. He has never met his son who was born yesterday. Neither me nor my daughters have seen him in over a week and when he was at home he didn't bother with our daughters at all so they don't have a bond with him.
Let him see them whenever even though he would not change them or do anything with them. He hasn't said he wants to see them or responded to me telling him his son is born but I want to figure it all out before he decides he wants to see them.
youngmomma863
by on Mar. 29, 2014 at 10:42 PM
Quoting Flylady14:

You don't need to let him see him on a set schedule or alone. Are you in the states? I would contact a lawyer. We're you married? Unless there is a court order you have all say. 



I'm in the UK.

If there wasn't a set schedule couldn't he take me to court to get one? X
Flylady14
by Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 7:46 AM
1 mom liked this

Well, ofcourse he could take you to court but most men don't. He doesn't seems involved or have a desire to be involved. I mean his son was born yesterday and he didnt come to see him. That says alot about a man. I say you hold all the cards right now and if he makes it difficult and if you feel unclmfortable letting him take the kids I would contact a lawyer before he goes to court. I just say just let him come when he does and don't force the subject. He should make the first move. 

Quoting youngmomma863:
Quoting Flylady14:

You don't need to let him see him on a set schedule or alone. Are you in the states? I would contact a lawyer. We're you married? Unless there is a court order you have all say. 

I'm in the UK. If there wasn't a set schedule couldn't he take me to court to get one? X


youngmomma863
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 7:50 AM
Quoting Flylady14:

Well, ofcourse he could take you to court but most men don't. He doesn't seems involved or have a desire to be involved. I mean his son was born yesterday and he didnt come to see him. That says alot about a man. I say you hold all the cards right now and if he makes it difficult and if you feel unclmfortable letting him take the kids I would contact a lawyer before he goes to court. I just say just let him come when he does and don't force the subject. He should make the first move. 

Quoting youngmomma863:
Quoting Flylady14:

You don't need to let him see him on a set schedule or alone. Are you in the states? I would contact a lawyer. We're you married? Unless there is a court order you have all say. 



I'm in the UK.

If there wasn't a set schedule couldn't he take me to court to get one? X



Okay thankyou x
Miss_Magnolia.
by Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 9:31 AM
2 moms liked this
At the end of pregnancy and after child birth hormones are everywhere. Worry about your recovery and your newborn son. When he comes around if he does let it be for his children not you. And don't chase him.
cjsmom1
by Platinum Member on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:34 AM

I don't know how it work s there but in the states if there's no court order he can pick the kids up for visitation and not be bring them and there's nothing you can do about it. I recommend getting a court order to protect yourself.

youngmomma863
by on Mar. 30, 2014 at 10:34 AM
Quoting Miss_Magnolia.: At the end of pregnancy and after child birth hormones are everywhere. Worry about your recovery and your newborn son. When he comes around if he does let it be for his children not you. And don't chase him.


That is most definitely what I will do :) x
virginiamama71
by Carrie on Mar. 30, 2014 at 11:53 AM

 For 2 or more years he must have been good for you to keep him around.

And you were the one who made the choice to bring forth another life with this man who showed for 2 years he could not bond with his 2 daughters.

I hope this situation works out. Now 3 children have to live thru this.

Quoting youngmomma863: No he did not see them yesterday. He has never met his son who was born yesterday. Neither me nor my daughters have seen him in over a week and when he was at home he didn't bother with our daughters at all so they don't have a bond with him. Let him see them whenever even though he would not change them or do anything with them. He hasn't said he wants to see them or responded to me telling him his son is born but I want to figure it all out before he decides he wants to see them.

 

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